Forty-Three Percent of Workers Called in Sick With Fake Excuses

On request: refer to this link.

Some notable fake excuses:
"I’m too drunk to drive to work."
"My boyfriend’s snake got loose and I’m afraid to leave the bedroom until he gets home."
"I’m too fat to get into my work pants."
"God didn’t wake me." (employee didn’t believe in alarm clocks and thought a higher power would wake her when she was ready)
"The ghosts in my house kept me up all night."
"I forgot I was getting married today."
"My cow bit me."
"My house lock jammed and I’m locked in."

I guess if you have more, feel free to share them with me.