Conflicting interests

Strange thing this... consultants are hired help. That's true. Companies take in outsiders to help them do a job, complete a project or help them (consulting them) with a conundrum.

Consultants however (especially the ones at my employer) are quite young, often hideously ambitious, and extremely quick to move. That means that whomever takes on anyone of us, should not be looking to keep us long-term. And yet that's exactly what clients expect (especially if you're really good).

In the current market a consultant is really a commodity with a high turnover rate. Consulting companies are falling over themselves to gain headcount, but at the same time just as many consultants are dropping out and moving away. If any consultant thinks he's not appreciated, or he's bored, or he's stuck in a rut for too long, he straight-up leaves.

This leaves a client in trouble. A client would desperately like to keep good people, even if they are outsiders. The client could offer them a lot of things, maybe even the same things as they would to their own employees, but realistically speaking that is not their duty. It is the duty of the consulting firm to keep employees happy. The consulting firm however has little control in this. They are too far away, and it's one thing to sell services to a client, it's an entire other thing to tell them how to treat your people. But the firm has to do something, anything, lest their employees leave in droves.

So we have a conflicting interests here: a client whose needs are best met by people serving them long-term; consultants whose needs are met by having exciting jobs; consulting companies who see that making jobs exciting involves moving people around at high speed. And then having to make a client unhappy and frustrated, because you're pulling away people, experience, knowledge.

I'm somehow transported back to the monologue Jack Nicholson gave at the end of A Few Good Men:

Son, we live in a world that has walls, and those walls have to be guarded by men with guns. Whose gonna do it? You? You, Lt. Weinburg? I have a greater responsibility than you could possibly fathom. You weep for Santiago, and you curse the marines. You have that luxury. You have the luxury of not knowing what I know. That Santiago's death, while tragic, probably saved lives. And my existence, while grotesque and incomprehensible to you, saves lives. You don't want the truth because deep down in places you don't talk about at parties, you want me on that wall, you need me on that wall. We use words like honor, code, loyalty. We use these words as the backbone of a life spent defending something. You use them as a punchline. I have neither the time nor the inclination to explain myself to a man who rises and sleeps under the blanket of the very freedom that I provide, and then questions the manner in which I provide it. I would rather you just said thank you, and went on your way, Otherwise, I suggest you pick up a weapon, and stand a post. Either way, I don't give a damn what you think you are entitled to.

Speeding and thinking

I wouldn't know if this is a natural reaction or not, but if you're driving a car and you get caught speeding with a big flashy speed camera:

• either you sit completely still, keeping your head straight (thinking that if you don't see them, you don't get a ticket), and you slow down to WAAAY below the speed limit (thinking if you compensate enough, the average speed is going down)
  
• or you get pissed, flipping the cops off (thinking you can scare the police from giving you a ticket)
  
• or you floor the pedal, thinking, "hell, I'm caught anyway, can't get any worse, can it?"

And all the while, none of these points is going to prevent a nice ticket arriving in your mailbox. Even better, you just might get to see a motor riding police officer moving up beside you, and waving you down. Arrr....

An even more inconvenient truth

If you haven't heard about Al Gore's An Inconvenient Truth, you've been avoiding important news for too long guys. Hell, he even got people fired up for a Live Aid-like series of concerts this year, so you know it's gonna be big.

Basically Gore has been giving seminars all over the world to spread the word that the world climate is changing for the worse, and that we all must act now to prevent it from getting really, really bad. The seminar (dated 2005) is formatted into a documentary, interspersed with some brief personal notes from Gore, and released on DVD this past week. Of course, the DVD is very U.S.-centric, but still his argument, his evidence is compelling and an absolute must-see. In fact, this DVD may be the most important to come out in the past year, and comes highly recommended.

I however wasn't planing on making this post a DVD review, but I do want to make a couple of statements about Gore's message in general.

Gore's biggest challenge in all this has not been fighting climate change. It has been getting his point across to (the right) people, and to make them take further action. This is not a new thing. People have to spend a lot of time to put new priorities on other people's agendas, and this is hard. Our time, our energy, our money even is fully spent and fully committed on things that we find important (house, car, work, projects, love, children, mortgage, hobbies, fetishes, vacations etc.), and now someone else is telling us we should make room in our busy schedules for something else. Not to mention that it's about a subject (climate change) that most people know nothing about, want to know very little about, and is so off-the-scale distant and massive, that we don't see the added value fo us. Of course, what Gore aims for is that his argument can convince us that we should make this our problem. That we should re-prioritize and put climate change high on our agendas, because WE feel it is important.

And this is probably where Gore's approach has met resistance. I'm sure most people (orthodox religious excepted) can understand the scientific rationale, and see where Gore is going. What I don't think he has been able to do so far, is - despite all this - to make this more important than all the other points on even a single person's agenda. All our time and energy is already spent, and to put this in, is to take something else out. Maybe something that's actually the livelihood of a person (farmer in the Amazon; gas driller in the North Sea; car manufacturer in Detroit), who doesn't have no alternatives, and is not presented with any. His argument is strong, but much too general, and too final as well (Stop doing this now).

Gore's argument goes another way, and he makes it a moral issue. 'We should act now, because it is the right thing to do. Because it is what we must do to give our children a future.' He is absolutely right about internalizing the issue in people, tie it into things that are important for them, like progeny. Again however, this only appeals to certain groups of people. Plus, the argument appeals to making expectations about the future, and we all bloody well know how bad we are at doing that. Most people will just leave it at that.

The message is diluted with me in a couple of ways. I could use public transport to go to work, and leave the car. I could drive more responsibly, drive right lanes always, 90 km/h on the freeway. But I like driving my car. I feel inconvenienced when I have to wait on a train to arrive. I feel frustrated when I lose half an hour each way because I have to ride along longer tracks. I hate the look of the hybrid cars (I'm looking at you Toyota). And I worked hard to get in a position where I can actually drive a good car, not necessarily environmentally sound, and I can use it to get in the fastest way I can imagine. I have invested time and energy to get a car, and I was not about to let it go. The car is an internal value for me.

I could sign up for green energy, instead of the standard brown stuff. But why should I pay more for what's essentially something that I don't notice at all? My house is not gonna smell nicer, my lights are not gonna be brighter, my oven won't go any faster, hell my TV won't suddenly last twice as long.

You want to make sure I take part? Fine, but let me keep all the stuff I find important and don't bother me with extra costs. It's expensive enough as it is.

See? A very individual view on what this guy feels is important to him. And I doubt other people feel differently (not about cars and energy per se, but definitely about something).

Society consists of individuals now, because it can. There's no real big issue floating above us (hostile aliens, meteorites, war or natural disaster if you look at the local Dutch scale), that can make us re-prioritize. Things can change quickly though. It only takes one flood, one drought, one serious loss of life, to put global warming top on everyone's agenda. Only this time, it is forced upon us.

Al Gore hopes we individually see the light and take action before it gets that far. That we can actually do something about it, in our own time. Not when the tide is up to our nose. I sincerely hope he succeeds.

So true, So true

Can't say it any better.

Going Mental

So this is what a breakdown feels like...

Frustration sets in quickly. The feeling of irritation is far greater than before. Control over emotions is gone. Everything is full-on, head-first, attack-always.

Nobody's safe. Everyone's a victim.

Now I see the appeal for booze, drugs and rock and roll. Takes the edge off things.

All Connected

Using my mobile phone I am able to send and receive photos, e-mails, video, soundbytes, and so on. It doesn't matter if I am at home, at work, in the gym, in the pool, in the car, eating or sleeping. I can make pictures, surf the internet, write a letter, listen to music, setup a meeting everywhere (at least, if a connection is available)...

...and yet there's a strange emptiness in all this. Should I actually be able to do all this at any time, in any place, no matter what I'm doing? The promise is to be able to save time, because you should be able to react and to act on information and new events nearly instantaneously. But all this actually ends up costing me more time: instead of dedicating and focusing specific moments to specific tasks (like answering my e-mail, calling a friend, gathering information about a new topic), I end up doing everything at once. That can't be effective.

What can I do about this... well for one, my phone is not set up for e-mail, so that won't be able to bother me much (my personal high was reached the past few months: more than 200 mails addressed to me personally or requiring my attention per week, spread over five addresses); I cleaned up my phonebook to just the people I call regularly; and I still pay extra for SMS, so that puts a constraint on my thumb-exercises.

So I can just focus the use of my phone on things I find useful about it: listening to radio or Mp3, reminding me of appointments, and making pictures.

Scary Stuff

The scariest things I've noticed this week:

• I can go to the hospital, and without even introducing myself the doctor and the receptionist and the radiologist know my name, my face and my appointment. How scary is that that people working in a hospital recognize you just by you walking in the room?
• I can take a day off from work, and still get called by work by 9:00 am. (Not that I pick up or anything) How scary is it that a project you work at is dependent on your input all the time?
• I got to see where I rank in the age-category at my company, and strangefully enough, I am at or near the average. That means that there's a lot of people younger than me, and that I am old. How did that happen?
  

You Really Don't Want Me To Drive Do You

The process of selecting a new lease car is as quick or slow as you want it to be. If you don't really care, you don't drive a lot, you like the environment more than the ride, you'd probably not spend a lot of time on the choosing part. "Just give me anything that has four wheels and a roof and I'm golden", you say. In fact, you probably don't need a car at all.

However if you do mind, you can make a full project of selecting the best car out there. So you make a shortlist of cars or brands you like, compare the different extras and options between each other, you'll make some test drives, discuss some views with your friends or colleagues in the know, setup a budget, and so on.

Unfortunately there's this thing in the Netherlands called bijtelling. It pretty much screws up the whole deal, because it eats your net pay (literally!) like a fat guy in a snackbar. I'm sure most employers can happily pay for the monthly lease amount, because it's not that big a deal to them. Employees however have to bear the burden of covering the added tax. The alternative is to lease a cheaper car, with less extras, less exposure, less horsepower and so on.

In all fairness, if you want to drive a car, you'll have to pay for the privilege. It's just terrible though that we live in a country that doesn't trust people to drive, so much that it has to resort to paycheck stripping to discourage them.

Pattern of growth

Once you start something new - be it in your work, with people, in a new activity - you would be very reactive in your approach. You react to events, which at that point are all new. You have to adapt continuously to everything because you've had little to no experience with the subject matter. Basically it all boils down to not knowing what to expect.

Most people do okay in this reactive phase. People can adapt quite well and perform as best suited to them. A rare few may have genuine talent for the task, and thus not just do okay but even do very well. In the end though people still react to outside and current stimuli.

Once you gain more experience, confidence, skill and so on people become more proactive in their ways. They have learned which events require their utmost attention and which are negligible. They know when certain events or topics are due and anticipate on their outcome. They know what is important to accomplish the task and manipulate their surroundings to suit.

Proaction is being able to perform ahead of events, either by preparing for their occurance, or to be in a position where you can reap the most rewards from them. If you are really good, you can completely flesh out a full scenario with everything that could possibly impact the outcome of the task, and have the measures to control each factor.

But this is not the ultimate behaviour people should grow to. Eventually people grow so experienced that they not only anticipate on expected events, but can actually initiate unexpected events as well, which others have to adapt to. Only a select few can actually accomplish this. These people are called entrepreneurs.

Rugs. Pulling. From. Under.

Politics is not a fun game to play. In fact it's quite irritating that you can actually win with skills that seemingly have nothing to do with the game at hand. Looking nice, or having the most campaign money win you the presidency sooner than having a good story or a noble nature.

What's worse is that politics often involve you, even when you're not playing in that game yourself. For instance you could try to shape your career as best as possible, and your manager is trying to help you with that, but your boss blocks it, because his interests are best served by blocking the manager's.

That last one is the worst. Not being able to do anything, apart from acting like a petulant child, and just being thrown around between two raging bulls.

I vow to be in the position where I choose which games to play, or be played in.

I don't believe this...

1. Just to make your dishes smell better in the dishwasher, our favorite dishwashing fluid has added perfume to its arsenal some time ago. Now when you open the machine after the programme has done its job, your entire cutlery, all your plates smell like a Chanel No. 5... sort of.

People actually complained about the smell, so now our favorite dishwashing fluid maker has also made, get this, a smell neutralizer to put in the washer.

2. Is there actually no one else that finds two ice skating shows, running simultaneously, depicting the very same vapid, interchangeable, semi-famous Dutch people, a little bit overkill?

Gathering Info

My Modus Operandi for every new situation I'm in, is as follows:

• look around, observe; take up every little detail in the environment, the people, the relationships. get a feel for the place
  
• don't look out of place, but don't be too familiar either. I'm not here to play games, but we have to build some level of trust
• take time to think; I will not be pushed or pulled until I get an idea where I want to go

And once I've gathered all the evidence I need...

BLAM!!

• Attack, Full On, or Sideways. Subtly or out-in-the-open. It depends on who I'm dealing with.
  

Ruthless Aggression

Most people who know me a little bit would say I'm not a calm character. I yell, I slap, I curse and generally make it well known if things are not going my way. I can lash out with the best of them, and I will chew out everyone who gets in my way.

However, if you really think this is my standard demeanor, then you'd be quite mistaken. If you think I am an emotional person, then you'd be wrong.

Emotions to me are those feelings - when you take away all reason - is that which doesn't go away. You don't choose to be emotional. You're either sad, or happy or you're not. I however choose to be aggressive, if it gets my point across or serves my purpose. (Of course that's not to say that I don't occasionally shout out, but those specific instances are rare.)

If you are truly emotional, you let all your feelings just flow over you. If you feel like crying, you do. If you are in love, you zoom around like you're walking on clouds. That is definitely not the case with me. You'd see I'm tired, you'd see I was mad (but that may be my intention), but you would never see me miserable, or sympathetic.

I grew up being told never to cry and never to show emotions, and that has completely messed up my emotional growth. The only outlet I have in fact is frustration. Thankfully most people (most men actually) have the same problem. Apparently it is (was) the way society told men to follow. Be strong, be all business. Never show weakness.

Of course this was the source of many jokes about the differences between men and women.

The aggression, the frustration, it is not an emotion. It is not a cause, not even a symptom. It is a means to an end.

Springing Big News

Some people just want all the attention. You know the year is about to close and you think everything is calm and ramping up for the new year... and then there's these guys who just have to butt in and take some of the thunder. This year it's Saddam, who just manages to squeak by with a televised execution at the close of year.

Bad thing is, I don't think Saddam's execution has much of an impact anymore. I'm sure victims' families during his regime are celebrating now. But the fighting, the war still continues; the suffering does not end. In fact, it just pisses some people off more.

Don't you just hate people who always need to have the last word?

Reviews and Resolutions

This year I've been able to do everything I set out to do at the end of last year. I got elected (twice), got promoted, and got my home in order. The respect and attention are rising (although people still find it extremely hard to spell my first name correctly), the attraction and interest is growing (from people I would not have expected).

Of course there were setbacks, from all the garbage I had to put up with (literally), to the nervousness I endured about new job offers and late furniture orders. And of course that stretch goal of meeting that very, very special someone...

Now for the coming year we're going for:

• new wheels!
• higher returns-on-investment in love, life and liberty
  
• leadership role in the workplace
• more pictorials on my camera phone!
• cooking a three-course meal
  
• dancing salsa
  
• speaking rudimentary (but understandable) Japanese, French, Italian, Portuguese, Spanish, Chinese and Turkish
  
• a clean sweep in my Heart-Head-Gut predictions!
  

Importance

The things people find important can be found in the traditions they keep, the rituals they hold. I myself have a couple, such as celebrating my birthday every other year with a huge dinner... You probably would also stay with your family during Christmas... My father prays every day after getting up and just before going to sleep... Our team has this Friday-night drinking binge where we just forget about the week and start our weekends as they should... entire droves of Americans gather round the television to see a football game during Thanksgiving or Christmas Eve... These are all examples of institutions, traditions, and rituals that people tend to keep. Every single one valuable, albeit for different purposes.

Traditions gain strength the longer the period during which they are retained. Sometimes even so much that we forget the original purpose behind a tradition, and raise the tradition itself to importance. That seems to be recurring issue in religion, anthropology, but also politics.

I do think that whatever I find very important I should institutionalize, turn in to a tradition or a ritual. I just have to make sure that I don't forget what I did it for in the first place.

Region Free

Why do I - if I happen to have other interests than my fellow countrymen - be subject to higher costs, more trouble and generally more nuisance if I want to watch a DVD from the States on a Dutch DVD player?

Why should I be limited to the market in the European Community, while the stuff that I like is from across the Atlantic?

Seriously, whoever came up with the bright idea of region-protected DVDs deserves to get his tires slashed.

Immediately flip the channel if I hear these songs this month

Where are the original christmas songs? Every single year you keep hearing the same stuff over and over and over again. It's not like there isn't plenty of other good (better) stuff around than

• All I Want for Christmas (is for you to shut up) - Mariah Carey
  
• I will always love you (oh please) - Whitney Houston
• Last Christmas - WHAM! (Oh come on, it's frickin' George Michael for godsakes)
  
• My Heart Will Go On (just sink the boat already) - Celine Dion
• Don't they know (the entire western world must celebrate christmas, and you starving saps must enjoy it too, if it's the last thing you do) - Band Aid
  

Of course, I will also switch off if I hear anything by Beyonce, Keane, Coldplay or U2, but that's just a matter of principle.

Persistence is Futile

Human nature when it really comes down to it, is not so hard to understand. In its purest form we are all cavemen trying to make sure we have plenty of meat when we're hungry, enough mammoth wool when we're cold, and enough escape routes when a troupe of sabertooth tigers comes down our alley.

In the modern age we did however frick it up big time, with religion, race, love, power, drugs, economy, wealth, fear, and science making things endlessly more complicated.

It all comes from the same motivation. Human nature is to survive in the broadest sense of the word. We procreate to have our genes dispersed and evolve when we ourselves cannot. We leave lasting legacies of our work in this land (a skyscraper, a wood carving, a book, a piece of music) so that generations of people can enjoy it. We provide - by the very actions we take - inspiration and new experiences for others to have. Maybe survival is not really the right word. Persistence is better. Human nature is to persist. Everything we do is about making our mark in the world, regardless of our lifespan.

You could say nothing in our lives can persist forever. If you are an astronomist adhering to the Big Bang/Crunch theory, eventually all of existence will eventually vanish. Even if you're not, you could still be sensitive to the Sun either swallowing the Earth whole or taking the planet out with a huge snuff. So in that sense, what's the use?

Persistence is futile, the Borg would say.

Or you could go my way, which is this. While our lives are irrevocably driven by the passage of time, each moment stands on its own. Maybe some form of existence is allowed to see the universe without regard of time, and experience only individual moments. I strive to have each moment make me look good. I don't need to do or to act to persist. I already do, by the very fact that I am here.

Life is persistence. What exactly makes you look good or even remotely interesting at any given moment though is something that you only occasionally choose and sometimes stumble unto.

Never Admit

This is strange I think. People who participate heavily in traffic know what a drag it is to have sections of highways camera-controlled for speed limits. The biggest criticism they have is that other drivers always drive slower than the maximum speed limit, just to make sure they are not caught and fined. This makes sure traffic flows very erratically.

Now, I have never heard anyone say that they deliberately drive slower than the speed limit, or at least to the degree where we find it irritating. Everyone will keep to the maximum speed, give or take a mile.

I have this speed trap in my neighborhood that shows you your speed as measured by radar. I passed it recently and it said my speed was 5 km/h slower than my speedometer showed. That's a FIVE km/h discrepancy.

I know car manufacturers deliberately gauge speedometers higher than the real car speed, simply to avoid people getting caught with speed tickets all the time. However the discrepancy is different from car to car. Everyone thinks they are driving at 80 km/h, but some cars may actually be travelling 5 km/h slower, others 7. Still others 3.

Here's a strange idea... have car manufacturers lose the discrepancy for once and gauge the speedometers of all cars to their actual speed. That will improve traffic flow.

And no, you still cannot drive 40 km/h on the freeway.