Funny story I heard today

An experienced IT woman and a junior IT woman are in a conversation. The junior can't seem to get to grips what a 'driver' is.

The experienced one explains: "You want to know what a 'driver' means for a computer system? Picture this, you want to wear red pumps. You have to have a red purse with your outfit to wear red pumps, right? Now your pumps are your applications, and your purse is your driver."

Caught by surprise

What if... you were living with someone, in a single home, for quite a few years. You have children together, you started a family. You've endured some tough times together, but also enjoyed each other's greatest triumphs. You care for one another.

Now imagine one person ending it suddenly. Without warning. Maybe with reason, but often not a very clear one.

Now... WHATCHA GONNA DO, WHEN HULKAMANIA RUNS WILD ON YOU?!

Apparently, not a lot.

Common problems

Every consultancy encounters the same challenges, how to staff people, how to sell, how to get one up on the competition and so on. It doesn't really matter if you're Big Blue or one of the continental firms. (Okay... Size does matter somewhat, but generally there isn't really something that separates one firm from the other.)

So really jumping ship and moving on is just that. Not much else.

There is however one fundamental weakness in consulting firms that would be great if someone actually managed to beat it. Every consulting firm is great in starting things, in having a great idea and acting on it. Unfortunately no firm is good at seeing things through, or deal with (unforeseen) circumstances on any consistent basis.

So if you're a firm who can actually do that and prove it to me, give me a call.

Top Tip: Collegehumor.com

Just an example of the kind of stuff you find on this humor site:

Top Three YouTube Laughing Babies

Because Sis won't blog: the Top Three Laughing Babies!

Number 3: A puppet show was never this funny, when I was a kid.


Number 2: The best reason to get a Wii isn't Super Mario Galaxy!


Number 1: This is where the abbreviation ROTFLMAO comes from.

Magic Numbers of Social Networks

25 - suppose you never invite anyone to be a friend on your social network (hyves, facebook, linkedin), but you always accept any invitations from people whose names you recognize. Then this is the number of invitations that you need to accept to reach critical mass and a significant increase in membership. (you'd go from 10 to 25 invitations in about six months, but from 25 to 50 in about four weeks)

199 - number of "friends" you have on your social network, before you realize about 192 of them are sad, and you move on to a new social network and start over.

[guys... I do seem to have a plaxo account, but I simply don't remember how to log in!]

Top Tip: Clock Suckers

The Truth Will Set You Free

Willem Holleeder is Holland's resident media-mobster, and he is on trial for racketeering, conspiracy to murder, embezzlement and probably a bunch of other charges that we don't know about.

The attorneys are trying to get him convicted and put him behind bars for twelve years. Apparently he is due for some leniency, because the media already found him guilty before the fact...

So wait... no matter what you did... murder, child pornography, rape, bank robbery, grand theft auto... if mass media says you did it, your sentence gets less?? Que??

Frame of reference

Did someone forget to get me a memo that up is down, angry is sad, sad is happy, inside is outside? Things I thought I read or understood, are completely different, and it's making for some hefty discussions.

Obviously my frame of reference is different from anyone else's, and nobody actually has mine, but at least I thought we shared some overlap. In fact there's none. Worst thing is, people get really anxious and agitated if you don't get them the first time...

Rather than being the source of conflict, let me be the bigger man and do this: You explain me how you see your point of view, and I will listen. I will respond, reflect and feedback in a way that I can hold grasp of, but which is as neutral and inoffensive as possible.

What do I do now?

There are three kinds of people. One kind makes things up as they go. These people are independent, a little crazy, eccentric, a little unreliable at times. A second kind follows instructions. These guys and girls need scripts, carefully defined boundaries. They need to be told what to say, what to do, how to do it. The third kind of people creates those instructions.

With the screenwriters out on strike in Hollywood, many television shows are running out of things to say. That's because most actors are people of the second kind. Excellent at following instructions, not too good at the improvisation.

There's two ways around this, me thinks. Either replace the dear old actors with people of the first kind (people who can actually think on their feet), or let television-watching fans take over the screenwriting for now. Fan fiction would never have it so good.

Show of respect

Look... I'm not the guy's biggest fan, by far. In fact I think he's rather overrated. But he's got a lot of credit in the Dutch pop music industry, so much that TMF got him an own bloody award to hand out...

(If you didn't know whom I'm talking about, it's Marco Borsato.)

But it is a great gesture of respect if you (all the nominees for the Borsato award) surprise the man with a tribute performance of one of his own popular songs. I like it. That kind of respect deserves to be recognized. It's what few people actually are eligible for, and even fewer actually get this well.

Rhetorical question

"In a market where nothing's assured
In which one day things are looking up
and in the next everything falls apart
Hurricanes batter drilling platforms
Multinationals cut back jobs
Companies move work overseas to lower-wage countries
Or take over their competition
Information services suddenly become high-price commodities
Energy and oil gets taken hostage for top dollar
The dollar isn't worth a (Euro) dime anymore
Do you dare invest your money in a market where this all happens?"

Stock Market

Coming soon to a theater near you