Wednesday, December 28, 2011

Take It or Leave It

Is it rude if you cut in line, grab a girl around the neck, shoulder your way past a crowd, or is it just take what you want? At the very least it's clear how you feel about things.

Is it respectful if you wait in line, wait your turn to speak, address everybody in a deferrent - if slightly formal - manner? Is it clear to everyone what you want, if you do it this way? Wouldn't it make you vulnerable to getting pushed over? Isn't this just lazy, leaving it up to social conventions whether you achieve what you want or not?

In life, career and love you need to balance out clearly stating what you want, versus showing respect while doing it. It's the renegade way of doing things, versus the grinding way of doing things. One way takes some risks, takes some short cuts. Sometimes it requires a sense of fearlessness. Sometimes it requires smarts and wit. Often it requires luck. But the potential payoff is very big.

The other way is safer, quieter, more docile but also slower; you have to work harder, endure more frustration for a longer period of time, and success rates are mediocre. If you scare easily, or stick to stuff you know, this is the way to go. Just don't complain when some people around you go wizzing by.

I want what I want, and I know what I am prepared to do to get what I want. I'm not a cheater and not a grinder. But I'm also not a complainer, and remain fully aware of where I am.

I am here. Take It of Leave It.

Sunday, December 25, 2011

Greed is Up in the Air

here's what's wrong with the world, summed up in a little airline policy...

in the past calendar year I've taken off and landed 24 times.

I've moved through 17 airports in 11 countries on 4 continents.

I have travelled almost three times the circumference of the earth.

And still I can't get a bloody upgrade?!

Tuesday, December 20, 2011

The Music of 2011

This year there's a distinct Asian slant in the annual music review. Not too strange considering I spent over four months there. What you learn is this: Dutch/European music tastes generally don't change as much. You could leave Holland for two months, hear no music even remotely relating to the Dutch charts during that time, and when you come back you'll hear the same old stuff all over again. There's still Rihanna on the radio, Bruno Mars, Adele, Coldplay, and Racoon.

The year's MVP is David Guetta. His collaborations have ranged from Flo Rida and Snoop Dogg to Sia and Jennifer Hudson, and all of these became chart toppers. The sound of 2011 definitely belongs to a Frenchman.

The Singer du jour: Krystl. Enormous crush on this one. Cute as a button. Music is slightly too sweet and happy though. So sweet, the glaze jumps off your teeth. So happy, it makes Hello Kitty look like Rambo.

Top 10
  1. Adele - Rolling in the Deep
  2. Adele - Set Fire to the Rain
  3. Bad Meets Evil - Fast Lane [youtube]
  4. Lenka - Two [youtube]
  5. Birdy - Skinny Love [youtube]
  6. LMFAO - Party Rock Anthem (but gets overplayed waaaaaay too much)
  7. Don Omar ft Lucenzo - Danza Kuduro
  8. Selah Sue - Peace of Mind
  9. Krystl - Leaving Home
  10. Sara Bareilles - Uncharted
Notable tracks from Asia:
  • Kan Miyoun - Paparazzi
  • Girls Generation - Mr Taxi
  • Girls Generation - The Boys (worldwide release on same day I moved to Korea)
  • T-ara - Roly Poly
  • Wonder Girls - Nobody

Tuesday, November 22, 2011

Money Makes The World Go Wacky

If you have money, you can apparently afford to make everybody jump through hoops. From the most junior intern to the president of the USA, everybody has to bow down to the almighty dollar. Even if that dollar is stupid as hell. (euro would have also worked, but unfortunately we don't know if it still remains a viable currency two years from now.)

Monday, November 14, 2011

Gentlemen's Agreements

Implicitly understood between men, the Gentlemen's Agreement is what keeps society from descending into anarchy. It is the one thing keeping the world sane for all to enjoy and live in. It consists of the following themes:

  • "What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas"
  • Don't cockblock another man, unless he violates the Gentlemen's Agreement first
  • If a good and honest man has a chance to make it with a woman, his friend must not make him look bad
Actually... just refer to the Bro Code already.

Sunday, November 06, 2011

Western Sensitivity in a Eastern World

The stereotype is that the Asian kid is always the one with the nose in the books, going for the highest grades, just because their parents want their children to.

Frankly the working culture in the East, particularly Korea and Japan, is a natural progression from this tendency. People work long hours, throughout the week, day and night. Family life is respected, but mostly from a social perspective, not from a personal one. Value is placed on effort, self-sacrifice in favour of the group, of the company.

At least from what I've seen Asians do work hard and long, but tend to put everything down to the last final detail - just to be more exact and precise than their peers. Or maybe they expect to learn something zen from the time they spend on their task. Anyway they don't question the task and just strive to do the best that they can.

Now Western sensibilities say that working long is not as effective as working smart. Not that us Europeans and Americans are lazy, but we like to think - on their own - that they can put more value in into less time, thereby freeing up more time for themselves, to improve themselves or to get richer. Our superiors are not always right, and we let them know that. To Asians that seems disrespectful.

Sometimes it works out, sometimes it doesn't. The biggest success stories in Western economies are from entrepreneurs, who went off the beaten path (Steve Jobs, Richard Branson, the Google and Facebook guys). In China, Japan and Korea it is very rare to attribute the success of a company to individuals.

An Asian from a Western world like myself can see both sides. I know the value of effort and hard work, but I also know running just for the sake of running is merely a front. It is a waste that will end up hurting more in the long run, frustrating people you work with, and jeopardizing quality of life. That needs to improve, otherwise the only winning numbers the Asians can claim are that of population.

Sunday, October 30, 2011

All Things Considered...

...I'd rather win than lose; I'd rather leave at my own accord than being forced out; I'd rather kill my own work than let somebody else do it for me.

All things considered though, if I have to I'll take a loss. And live to fight another day.

Sunday, October 02, 2011

Familiar Sights

It doesn't really matter in which urban conglomerate you find yourself in the world, you are pretty much guaranteed to encounter a McDonald's, Starbucks, Nike, or Apple store, or a luxury brand like Gucci, Hugo Boss, Calvin Klein, or a global product like Coca-Cola.

What I personally didn't expect to find all over, are brands like Games Workshop (according to their own website in 19 countries, four continents), whose business is catering to the tabletop miniatures hobby. It's just a tick over stores catering to collecting stamps or model train sets, and these are usually run by individual middle-class retailers, not by franchises.

I also didn't expect to find Nespresso (88 countries, present in all continents except for Antarctica) around the world the way that it does. I suppose it's a brand really catering to a coffee shop experience, but with machines that don't cost EUR 1,000. Or maybe George Clooney has a bigger influence on people than I thought.

Then there's Zara, a clothing store present in 73 countries. Because it's not a big name US brand, I tended to overlook it, but if you go to Seoul, you'll find a Zara store. If you go to London, you'll find one. If you go to Dubai, Surabaya, or New York, you'll find one. Heck, if you go through my clothing rack, you'll probably find one.

Seeing these brands all over the world makes travelling less of a discovery than before. These are familiar sights in far-flung places, which may lose some of the authenticity of a city. However you are never far from your comfort zone, and you will never feel more cosmopolitan.

Wednesday, September 28, 2011

How Original

Nobody makes original content anymore nowadays. It's all reboot, remake, sequel, prequel, collaboration, tribute, trilogy, spin-off, cover, 'special' edition and so on.

So why all the fuss about copyrights? People are copying and rehashing old ideas anyway...

Sunday, September 18, 2011

Simple truth about methodology

A method is a series of practices, procedures, workflows, and tools that guide people to achieve their goals without falling into bad habits.

It is unfortunate people need this method. If left to their own devices, people are simply limited in their ability to toe the line, stay the course.

The methods we are looking for, aim to turn the inherent weaknesses of people into strengths. Or at least accept the weakness exists, and work around it.

Agile methods could be that what we need.

Saturday, September 17, 2011

Very Predictible

After a long period where the whole world complains the dollar is so cheap versus the euro, the moment I buy a ticket to the States, the Euro Dollar exchange rate falls in favour of the USD.

After a period of downtime, I get to planning ONE event. The day right before the event, another absolutely urgent thing happens. Couldn't it have been urgent when I had a period of downtime?

It's like I'm my own entangled particle.

Sunday, September 11, 2011

A millisecond of added value

I have extreme difficulty understanding how day traders and stock brokers can actually find added value in a millisecond. That's also probably why I still fly coach, while they fly first class.

In my world however, everything we accomplish is done in discrete steps. Sure, these can be overlapping and/or in parallel, but we take increments to achieve our goals. Every step costs some effort, some investment, and the outcome is reaching the goal.

Now humans are simply not equipped to do stuff in a millisecond. We can type fast, talk quickly, run a 100m in 9 seconds and a bit, but a millisecond is simply too short for us to do anything with.

How in Hoff's name can anyone assign a money value to a millisecond? A stock that costs $ 0.002 more after a millisecond, makes a trader's day when he sells 100.000 of them.

When you're talking about this scale, and these numbers, it's no longer about skill, effort, achievement. It's all about luck, coincidence. Maybe intuition, but it is no longer possible to find cause and effect, because humans are not equipped to judge that at this scale with our own senses.

That also means, whether we get rich or poor, fail or succeed in meeting our goals, these are outcomes that we don't directly control. Unless you develop the senses to notice a millisecond, that is.

Sunday, August 28, 2011

A Relationship By Any Other Name

People think about relationships as if it were an airline frequent flyer membership card, something that you can renew, something that entitles you to certain privileges, something that justifies acting in a certain way. I don't think that's the most healthy way to go.

I gain comfort in viewing my relationships in a slightly different way.

Relationships are not a club membership, but a hedge fund
People invest in their relationships, especially the ones they want to keep for a long time. However it is folly to believe that all relationships are created equal. Someone you refer to as BFF, might view you as one of his many friends. Also, while relationships slowly build up history, none is a guarantee how the relationship will go in the future. New relationships may take precedence, new conditions and circumstances will appear that take your relationship in different directions.

Viewing relationships as a hedge fund mandates you to look forward to judge future returns, while respecting the happenings of the past. It also prevents you to feel entitled to certain securities, of which there are none. Finally it makes sure everybody takes out of the relationship what they expected, or take a loss. Some relationships people are satisfied with taking a low return over a long period, while others would want high returns in the short term. If you know what you want to achieve here, you can make your investments accordingly.

Make relationships with the group independent from relationships with an individual
It's funny that people can make snap judgments based on association. Discrimination is still the laziest thing people can do to make themselves comfortable, while insulting a whole other group. It can be race, it can be nations, it can be religion, it can be football club.

Viewing the relationship as unique on the individual level, and separating it from any surrounding groups, or even other individuals, is for me the most fair thing to do. It's not that other relationships cannot impact you and yours, but I view them more as market conditions, rather than drivers in the relationship itself. We can work with the market conditions, we cannot change the foundation of the relationship.

Relationships don't need a qualifier
For some reason we always need to qualify the relationships we keep. Whether friends, family, colleagues, competitors, teachers, students, mortal enemies, celebrities, or just some random person, nobody just "is" for anyone.

Bit tragic too, because the way people tend to keep and maintain relationships is the source of many conflicts.

I think the most healthy way of dealing with this, is to view each relationship on its own merits. All relationships have a place in time, and had in their existence inherent value, and I respect each and every single one. I avoid labeling relationships, and tend to stay neutral in my labeling at best. I might not get the highest returns out of it, but at least I'm consistent and at peace. My expected returns and actual returns are very close.

I take my losses, and accept my profits in my relationships. I respect the past, expect fair and realistic returns, and am confident my deals going forward are justifiable, and appropriate.

Sunday, August 21, 2011

Consumers Revolt

It used to be the case that people would provide a service, do a performance and pay for the privilege of having it. People buy a ticket to see a movie, purchase a car to drive in it, a record to play it at home.

But I've come to realize this is less and less the case. Consumers do not pay for their content or service anymore. Consumers want the service first, and pay only if it proves its worth.

Maybe it's a trust thing, getting bad service once too many. It may be the economy, so that you are saving your dollar more in anticipation of a rainy day. Even so consumers have reversed the roles with the content provider, the publisher, the artist, the supplier. Consumers are providers themselves of Time.

It's up to the content provider to entice the consumer to give some of that precious Time to him. His content has to be solid, sound, fill a need and a want. To achieve a lower threshold he might give away samples for free. He might use social media to spread the good word about his content. He might make it easier to use the content in a variety of ways. But no longer is the content provider the stronger party in the demand-supply relationship. The content provider is more dependent now on the demand, than the consumer is of the supply. The consumer's Time can be spent a variety of ways, legitimately or otherwise. And if not spent on the content the provider offers, it is spent somewhere else.

So it's best that publishers, artists come to realize that the old ways don't work anymore. It doesn't pay off anymore to hold your content hostage, with DRM, patents, high prizes, region locking and the like. Consumers will find alternative ways to spend their dollar, spend their time. And you can't blame the economy for that.

Sunday, August 14, 2011

Copyrights on the stockmarket

I think they should just put copyrights on the stockmarket. Music, movies, books, content in general should just get traded just like stocks, commodities and derivatives. Let the marketplace sort out which content should get sold where and for which price. There would be all kinds of different prizes for selling content once, for multiple viewings, unscheduled viewings, future releases, reboots, as part of compilations, on new devices, all fit to purpose.

Sure it would be more of a hassle than going to itunes or the recordstore, but no more than the stockmarket already is right now.

Thursday, July 28, 2011

The Zen Of Relationships

Relationships, between friends, family, lovers, colleagues or competition have a way of evolving. Most people value frequency and quantity in this evolution, and lament a relationship if it is kept idle for a length of time. Most people also value investments made in their relationships, whether by expectation, attention, love or contract (sometimes all of the above). They would also get angry if their investment into the relationship doesn't pan out the way they thought.

It's not really a stable way of looking at it. The thing you can be sure about, is that
  • the longer you're around, the more people you meet who compete for your attention
  • the more likely you will pick up stuff to worry about, like a house, career, car, insurance...
  • you're going to try to fit more and more relationships in the same 24-hour day
I'm not in favour of dismissing relationships as a matter of fact, simply because of a simple human condition, that you can't do two things at once, and that you have to prioritize.

I'd rather just value relationships at the point in time that they existed, and not worry about "long-distance", or "long time ago". It's not like I'll treat everyone as if I've seen them just yesterday, but I'm sure to treat it with respect.

Friday, July 22, 2011

Fear and Loathing in Hell's Kitchen

Gordon Ramsay's Hell's Kitchen (the US version that is) is a microcosm of human behavior. Every emotion, backstab, ass-kiss, victory, loss is magnified under the scrutiny of the camera, as well as through Ramsay's explosive character. And it's brilliant.

I do see a very worrying trend in Hell's Kitchen, in how the candidates argue, justify and deal with failure, defeat or resistance. If this is a reflection of current western society, I fear for humanity.

It is rare that candidates analyze their weaknesses in any level of detail. Ramsay might kick their asses and confront them with their faults (very harshly I might add), but they rarely do anything with these. Instead they turn attention to the faults of others. There's no introspection.

Corollary to not seeing their own weaknesses, candidates usually compensate weaknesses with a display of effort. Truthfully working hard and perseverance under the most difficult of circumstances are virtues, but the trend now is to cover up the biggest of failures with having "fight". Last time I checked "fight" doesn't compensate for "suck".

Candidates have the notion that they live in a free society, and can opine what they want, when they want. And they should be respected for having an own opinion, having unique thoughts, and independent actions. Unfortunately for them, this doesn't fly in Gordon Ramsay's kitchen. If you fail in his kitchen, he will tell you. If you fail badly, he will tell you. In no uncertain vocabulary. If you fail in the worst, dumbest way, he is under no obligation to encourage, help, be nice to you. In fact, you can expect an ass-whuppin' and you will accept it.

Finally candidates try to win arguments by increasing volume. As if any person can be persuaded because he or she didn't hear you the first time. And the candidate is actually offended that the first time wasn't understood. Madness.

And while all this epic fail makes for brilliant television (and in fact the only reality tv I can stomach), it still makes me sad for humanity and society at large. It's deterioration, it's like seeing a loved one growing more ill every day - and there's nothing you can do about it.

Friday, July 01, 2011

When Agile Isn't Agile

I like working in Agile teams. There's nothing better than spending the best part of your working day, with like-minded people, with the same goals, doing our best work. And in my line of work, projects or business-as-usual, it's quickly becoming a given. Talking to people who don't say they work with Agile methods, is like talking to people who aren't yet on social networks. "You aren't on Twitter/Facebook/Linkedin yet?"

Now of course some of those people have very good reasons not to be on any social networks, just the same as some organizations have very good reasons not to work Agile. It's not these organizations I speak about here. It's the organizations who say they are, when they are not - whether mistaken, misguided, misleading, take your pick. They pick up some of the buzzwords, spin it in a way they understand best, but rarely what organizations actually do in the end is in the spirit of Agile.

And I understand it's not easy to go from a traditional way of working to an Agile one. It's a sea change that requires and advocates changing the way people approach their work. And sometimes to make the change palpable, you make concessions, or you make an interpretation. These interpretations may be shaped in a way that does not fit Agile principles, but still works for your organization - which is fine... as long as you are not deluding yourself.

Principles are dangerous things. People live by them. People die by them. And they become even more dangerous when they are not fully understood.

1. All decisions are final. No Backsies

With Agile hopefully there's a semblance of a belief that during the course of project various factors can affect it. Agile advocates iterations to institutionalize a regular evaluation process in a project - so you won't end up missing your mark somewhere down the line.

Agile does not advocate turning on a dime every single iteration. Iterations allow people the opportunity to reflect on what happened, to take stock in what's going on in the environment, and to take actions accordingly. If this means the backlog gets amended, so be it. If it means the work produced so far is worthless so be it.

But people still get stuck with notions similar to: "we made this decision months ago, we're not going to back out of it now"; "a deal's a deal". Which is kind of restrictive in its own right.

I've seen organizations introduce iterative working processes, with each phase of iterations bookended by toll booths, gates, decision points, go/no-go meetings etc. I'm alright with organizations calling these processes iterative. You do introduce specific moments where a project gets evaluated and if necessary redirected or even stopped. Indeed it roots out the situation where you work for a year and then end up with a piece of garbage, because no one evaluated it along the way. Indeed it allows projects that have no chance of succeeding to be killed off before a significant investment has been made.

There's big pressure to keep passing each toll gate, turning each iteration and each phase into a race to the finish line. Usually because budgets are released by passing one - and missing one means no money. It means that after passing one gate, a number of possible issues are no longer viable to break anymore. The money/investment is sunk. The instrument we're trying to utilize (the iteration), becomes a goal in itself.

I've seen some organizations having the gall to call this process Agile. Which is like saying your local beer league soccer team is playing like FC Barcelona. You're not, you don't have the players, you don't put in the training hours, and you certainly don't win the prizes.

2. Making decisions for you

In traditional settings the boss decides what to do, who does it, when and how. His commands move to his subordinates, who proceed to do the same to their subordinates.

In an Agile setting the decision making process is more distributed. Boss still decides the big picture, but the who, when and how becomes a more organic, more self-organizing process, or so it is hoped.

In practice, decisions do not magically move to the level where they make the most sense for the project as a whole to make. People have agendas, egos, capacities, ambitions, emotions and skills. People have roles and relationships. People have a view of themselves and only themselves, and have a tendency to believe they are more important in the grand scheme of things than they really are. All these factors affect when and how decisions are made, and by whom. Few of the factors completely match with the project as a whole, thus creating conflicts.

A boss' natural tendency is to mediate and rule (usually just rule), if he doesn't trust or empower the project members to resolve conflicts between themselves. Sometimes it becomes even necessary for a boss to do so. In doing so the decision making process becomes at the very least sub-optimal. People who have the responsibility to make certain decisions, can't or won't. The boss ends up spending his time making the decisions for them, forgoing his other responsibilities.
You shouldn't want a general to worry about a soldier's broken shoe laces. On the other hand a soldier should not be handing out orders to move an entire army to a new theater of war, despite what Hollywood shows us.

Should the boss just let things falter? No, but he should create the atmosphere where conflicts are worked out and project members keep in mind the overall project objectives. Conflicts are fact of life, but encouraging people to take the opportunity to deal with them for the good of the project, introducing the means to tackle and even anticipate conflicts, is where Agile shows its strengths.

3. Work break down

When planning iterations, people tend to just list a bunch of requirements, estimate the work needed, and then divide the total by the number of iterations. Then they apply metrics to see if they are behind or ahead of schedule. That's a train wreck waiting to happen.

In general people are terrible at estimating. Some people may be lucky in guessing. Others might pick up on trends, tells, fakes and take informed risks. These people work the race track, the stock market or the poker table. These people do not in general work in a cubicle office, not unless they can help it. And they are more often wrong than right.

In general people are also terrible at communicating and defining exactly what they want; and even worse in understanding what others want. If people were able to, divorce rates would be far lower than they are now. You might be good with words. Great, you are in the minority of the world's population, let alone in the project. You might listen better to people who are charismatic, proficient in presenting themselves and their message. Unfortunately not everyone is Richard Branson.

Combine those deficiencies, and you end up with objectives that people can hardly describe in an accurate way, can hardly estimate with any authority, and which are chopped up in arbitrary chunks that may or may not end up being useful or of business value.

I am a firm believer in iterative working. Collectives of people (groups of project members) do not have the capacity to completely come up with a solution from start to finish with any degree of accuracy. Iterations help people manage big solutions, by breaking these down into smaller chunks that collectives can manage.

The chunks should however be so defined that the collective can complete each individually in one iteration, and each should hold business value in itself (i.e. working code). So don't define your task for one iteration as a plastic water cup without a bottom. Rather admit that making a complete plastic cup doesn't fit in one iteration, and make arrangements to adjust the objective or change the capacity.

An Agile construct like complexity points are there for a reason, they force the product owner to think about the goals in terms of business value, rather than hours and dollar amounts which are arbitrary numbers that are attributed too much meaning. There's also a reason complexity points are estimated by the people who are going to do the job, and not the boss.

4. Money rules

Plenty of clients who use money as an excuse to defer responsibilities. Plenty of contractors that let them.

The ancient creed that the Spiderman franchise is based on, applies here though: with great power (money) comes great responsibility.

Now I know that successful clients have got many different things going on simultaneously, and they have to stretch, plan, prioritize their time accordingly. They have to plan where they are accordingly. None of these can be used as an excuse to not be involved with the people they've hired in the job they've hired them for.

The client has empowered them, good on 'em. But if they legitimately come back with a decision they cannot make, or a clarification they cannot make themselves, the client needs to be there.

A client needs to be involved in an Agile project, and should want to need to be involved. He should setup all the means to do so, from daily stand ups, to documentation, to delegating a representative etc.

In the spirit of things

Most organizations still have a ways to go before actually working in a truly Agile way, if they need to at all really. I respect these organizations that realize this, and find ways to make it work in the meantime.

But if you do just a stand-up meeting, or just iterations or just a burndown chart, and say you are the Agile methods guru, I think you've cut some corners.

Monday, June 20, 2011

For sale: Me

Putting your resume up on job sites is like putting your house up for sale. You need to share all the mandatory information, some particulars, and perhaps some pictures(!). You need to find out what potential buyers are looking for... what are the keywords that are important to them?

Job hunting via job sites thus becomes a game - can you attract that one single interested party, by just showing the right assets? Maybe recruiting agencies should move into more of a realtor role... supporting professionals in selling themselves best.

Sunday, June 12, 2011

Same Motive, Different Crime

Do the ends justify the means, or vice versa? If you wanted to catch Osama, would you torture his underlings to find out where he is? Is prostitution permissible? Or abortion?

I think the Japanese have probably found the principle that trumps both ends and means. The motivation that a person holds for performing the means and achieving the ends, determines whether each is good or bad. The question at the top of the article is not even relevant, rather the simple WHY.

Two people are in prostitution, but the one who does it to take care of her child, may get more kudos than one who simply needs a new fix to satisfy her addiction.

This principle also implies that ends and means always need to be seen in combination. Separately they mean nothing, lack context. Together they shape if the motivations are consistent.

Sunday, May 29, 2011

The HHG: NHL Stanley Cup Finals 2011

Another Canadian team makes the trip to the Finals... but can Vancouver finally break a 17-year winless streak for Canadian teams?

The Heart hopes the Canucks win the Cup. Besides wanting Canada to celebrate one after what feels like an eternity, Vancouver could finally live up to their potential.

The Head thinks Vancouver has the best weapons to win. Boston seems a little inconsistent and could still make critical mistakes at key moments. The Canucks have been solid from the start of the season, and despite a scare in the first round with Chicago, Vancouver has been the clear favorite in the Western Conference.

The Gut feels Boston just might spoil the party for Canada. Tim Thomas could just as easily turn it on and become invincible, just like Roberto Luongo could for Vancouver. However Boston has an air about them to eak out a win in Canada, which will bring them home ice advantage.

Saturday, May 28, 2011

The HHG: NBA Finals 2011

Hmmm... I might as well recycle the HHG of 2006 for this one... Maybe not.

The Heart hopes Dallas gets the championship, and makes good on what happened five years ago. And Dirk and J-Kidd deserve to get championship rings. And LeBron needs to wait a year before winning his, after his ridiculous off-season decision making.

The Head thinks that Miami is too strong when the Big Three are in the starting line-up. LeBron, D-Wade and CB4 can really overpower their counterparts. It's difficult to see who the Mavs will use to match up consistently, apart from Nowitzki.

The Gut feels that Miami will win again, repeating their 2006 success. And LeBron will silence his critics and justify his charade this past summer with a championship ring.

Friday, May 27, 2011

The HHG: Champions League Final 2011

It's Manchester United, the new and record-breaking Premier League champions versus Spanish champions FC Barcelona - the rematch of the 2009 Final.

The Heart wants ManU to win, even if it was for the clear underdog in this match. And Edwin van der Sar deserves to go into retirement holding a Champions League trophy.

The Head thinks Barcelona will win. With the best soccer player in the world right now in the lineup (Messi), and a squad that includes several starters for the Spanish World Cup winning team, who will bet against them?

The Gut feels Barca will win by a goal. Scored by Messi. And I'll be sad.

Sunday, May 22, 2011

Red Flags on Your Project

Projects, jobs don't always turn out great. Sometimes these just fall down to pieces. Most people will be somewhat surprised, even though there were some clear signs of pending failure before. The most common red flags are below. Make sure you are safely out of the way when you notice these things around you...

1) The Town Hall meeting. Usually hosted by upper level management for the general workforce, given at the biggest conference room in the neighbourhood of the office. This is the moment where big strategic announcements are made, an IPO, layoffs, change of leadership or ownership, new investments or ways of working. Often if not always attendance is mandatory.

Now Town Hall meetings are quite useful under normal circumstances. But start worrying if the frequency of Town Hall meetings exceed once per quarter. That means senior management has no control over the proceedings, changes its opinions and plans a lot, and makes hasty ill-advised decisions. Open communication is one things. Looking like you can't make up your mind is something else.

2) Time is a precious commodity, of which free there's little. At the job it seems we always run out of it, and we always need more. To argue why we need it, we make plans, do estimates and try to make it with minute-by-minute activity scripts. As a general rule though, time is always short, and everything needs to be faster and arrive more quickly.

However it is our great delusion to think our time the most important in the world. The great red flag on projects is when people deem a minute of their time more precious than the Pope's or the President's. When lunch breaks are capped to 15 minutes. When you must start work at 8:00 and continue until 18:00 - not a second more, not a second less. I'm very sorry guys, but unless you work in an Emergency Room, for the armed forces or in the space program, time cannot be the most critical thing for you. Your time is certainly not more important than theirs. Not every second you lose is a life-and-death situation.

So if all people start budgeting their time and yours on the job like it is the last drop of water in the desert, be afraid. Be very afraid.

3) Too many changes of leadership. Town Hall meetings are usually where important decisions are broadcasted, including leadership changes. Now leadership changes are sometimes necessary. People might rally behind new ideas of the new lead, freshen things up a bit and perhaps allow some rough diamonds to shine through. Like in sports, sometimes the new leadership places some different emphases, which in turn lead to success.

More often than not leadership changes don't really achieve quick tangible results. Leaders need time to forge their path, and as you see from red flag #2, time is not something many of us will be blessed with. So leadership changes begets more leadership changes, simply because the desired immediate results were not met.

So if your department suffers one change, that may be quite alright. If you suffer about one per month, something is going very wrong.

4) Politicking. Quite simply, if people are preoccupied with something other than the goal, than you are not getting the optimal results. In fact, it might be extremely dangerous as politicking can actually damage the success of the job or the project beyond repair. Because of politicking you might be drawn to spend time (there it is again) on something that is of no value to the goal itself, only to serve somebody else's agenda. It might be creating meaningless diagrams, about non-relevant data. It might be running errands just to look busy. It might be making fun of a colleague during a critical status update meeting.

A department in which politics supersede the actual production or the completion of the job, that's a red flag.

5) Giving indicators more worth than they have. Any project or job deserves to be judged fairly and its progress measured accurately. The metrics to use are difficult to relate to what's actually going on at the factory level, but more often than not, correlation is definitely there.

However if your department or project takes indicators more seriously than they are, you enter the realm of the weird. You start manipulating numbers to make them look good. You start behaving and taking action in such a way that the numbers get improved artificially. In some shape of form, this behaviour correlates with #4, you simply don't want to look bad on paper.

If your project takes more care of its numbers than it understands its meaning, then your project is in trouble. Red Flag.

Sunday, May 15, 2011

And We're Back

So the PlayStation Network is back online, after suffering a severe data breach and a self-imposed three-week shutdown.

Of course, it is nothing compared to the Fukushima nuclear meltdown/Miyagi prefecture earthquake, or the revolutions in Egypt/Libya or even the super-twisters in Mid-US. Though I'm sure many gamers won't look at it that way. They sure play it up like that.

Thursday, May 12, 2011

Getting used to things quickly

Ten years ago mobiles were just becoming commonplace. Five years ago we were still Hyving and barely getting onto Facebook. In 2000 I could still carry waterbottles on the airplane without throwing them away at customs. In 2005 I was still using printed driving instructions.

How quickly things change. Today there's no life without facebook, your smartphone, google maps. We take our shoes off, leave bottles behind and follow all the strange airline customs. We curse establishments that don't carry free wifi, we don't trust potential hires that don't have a linkedin profile, and we need to tweet everything anytime anyplace.

Five years from now? I shudder to think.

Thursday, April 21, 2011

The Over/Under On No Season

The NFL lockout and the impending NBA labor strife are a way for these industries to test their value to the general public. These sports leagues are responsible for billions of dollars in revenues for players, owners, businesses, coming from spectators. At least as long as there's actually games to be played.

Sports leagues like the NFL and NBA started as mere pastimes, without competitive foundation; as a sport matures, competition becomes a bigger driver to play, over recreation. Further maturing sees organization enter the sport to regulate competition; later on monetary incentives are increased (e.g. prize money; appearance fees), drawing attention from people outside the sport, the spectators. If the attention becomes big enough, if the exposure is intense enough, spectators will become addicts to the sport in question.

What the leagues are hoping for, is that they are too big to fail, or more accurately too important to ignore. The leagues and owners behave on the premise, that the public will simply have to accept there not being a season this year, because the public crave NBA/NFL so much, any season that does get played afterwards, is immediately flocked to. Both leagues would be acting rather differently, if their fans do not come back when the lockout ends, because they have found something else to do. It is the risk these leagues take, if they prove to overestimate their value.

It is not an unrealistic view. All the public sees, is multi-millionaires bickering with multi-millionaires about billions of dollars, which 99 percent of the fans will never see in their lifetimes. Also most people will have limited money available for frivolous consumption (such as visiting a sports event), especially in this unstable economy.

But the NFL lockout is here, so obviously BOTH the NFL players and the NFL owners think they can actually get away with it. All the while the media is crying foul, pointing to disappointed fans, and troubled businesses. The NFL have facts on their side; revenues in the league have never been higher than the last three years. Demand for the NFL product definitely exists.

So currently the fans have little to work with but hope. Rich people fighting over money is not something the average fan can influence, unless he is willing to take drastic measures, such as going cold turkey, go into rehab or find something worse. My guess is, and I suppose it's the NFL's as well, the average fan is not able to. Just like people coming back (to some degree) to NHL after their lockout in 2005, the expectation is that people will come back to NFL after this lockout.

The NFL is a bit like a beautiful woman, who knows all too well she is. No matter what terrible things she does, you'll always loop back around to see her. And here, she will not put out. And there will be no season. Just because she can. Just because THEY can.

Sunday, April 17, 2011

Lost Opportunity

Spotify has always been a must-have app and service, streaming music to your desktop, or - if you're willing to pay a fee - to every mobile device you have. Their Free service served a great purpose, providing a set number of hours of free listening per month. If you were willing to limit your listening to your home computer and stay under five hours or so per week, you could listen to whatever you wanted (as long as it exists in the Spotify database) into infinity.

Now that is going away. The Free service will still be free, the free hours will still be there, but the infinity part will not. All songs will be limited to five plays lifetime per user.

Considering Spotify had a slightly bewildering business model - one where people were actually wondering how Spotify could actually make money - it should be expected that additional constraints would be introduced at some point. In the battle between content demand and supply, I surmise supply has dealt demand a sharp blow. Well Met, though.

Truthfully, my interests would be best met if people wouldn't steal my money all the time. Spotify fulfilled a need for occasional music listening of hard to find tracks, and new song discovery. I suppose that's something that I could potentially pay for.

Bad thing's even if I could pay for it, I am not able to. For a large number of tracks some music label has determined it should not be sold in my country. It's the same with DRM, and region locks, content for some reason cannot be transported across borders. Which is ridiculous, since I don't suddenly stop liking a piece of music if I pass customs.

That's why I liked and used Spotify (and before Pandora). I want the option of listening to ANY music I like, regardless if a music label made a business decision not to release the track in my region. If I have to pay cash for it, that's fair, but GIVE ME THE CHOICE.

With Spotify moving its business model with limited plays, my choice is somewhat hurt. In practice I may not actually reach the upper limit on borderline tracks, but for some others I might, and if those are tracks I can't get here, I feel screwed. And so should the music artist (after all they've got a listener here, a potential buyer, and they cannot sell here - that's just lost dollars).

Sunday, April 10, 2011

Scariest Text Message You Ever Will Get

You know I have to write about this...

So basically right across the street someone shot up the local shopping center, killing at least six others, and apparently shooting himself.

Now I wasn't in the area at the time, I just noticed the huge amounts of police cars and ambulances driving up. Probably the only time apart from the WTC attack that you can get a scary text message like this: "TURN ON THE TELEVISION". No additional explanation.

I feel for the victims' families and friends.

I must admit though that my first reaction was hoping nobody I know personally was at the shopping center at the moment the shooting happened. Apparently a lot of other people had the same reaction, judging from the crowds, and the interviews.

Emotions Run Free

As the day progresses a number of typical human interactions appear, which are rooted in emotion rather than rationality:
  • curiosity, people coming out and trying to look into the shopping center to see what's going on. Only to get turned away by the police.
  • sorrow, or at least a declaration of feeling sorry for the victims
  • disbelief, "how can this happen in our small town"
  • emotional trauma, especially for the people who were actually there
The need for explanation is clear; "how did this happen", "who did this", "why"; and then not getting any because the authorities are still trying to find out; and if people don't get explanation, they invent an explanation. That's how rumors start.

Then within no time at all, somebody put up the race question. For me it is the sad state of modern society that this continues to be a valid justification for prejudice. I have to say the media were extremely quick to disarm the argument, by describing the shooter as a young white male. To me it is a clear signal of the immaturity of society, but also a display of strong awareness of the media what people needed and how.

I Value Who Tells Me Which Facts

People praised the municipal government for their use of social media (i.e. twitter) in informing the people. We should be careful in this. These are channels, which are easy to misuse, easy to introduce noise to. For pure news casting the new media are good enough to tell me something has happened - although I'm a bit on the fence about particularly sensitive subjects.

About the why, the how, and the details I don't want the local neighborhood youth tell me. That's for the police and the mayor to do. That's their job, and responsibility.

Keep following the proceedings on twitter @gemeenteaadr, or on the municipal government website.

Friday, April 08, 2011

Moving Targets

Recruiters want to know what kind of superstar you are, so everybody sends in resumes how awesome their past and present roles are. Because if it is not superstar-worthy, why bother inviting them over?

Applicants then inflate their roles and responsibilities, fluff their achievements, and try to fool the recruiters into thinking "this guy is Superman, we need to hire him pronto".

Of course recruiters now do their background checking, using the social media to their best advantage. And new applicants are doing their best to use the social media in the way it suits their value the best.

It's basically the case of nature versus the mousetrap. Someone invents a better mousetrap, nature comes up with a better mouse. So too are LinkedIn and Twitter; recruiter finds new tools to determine a candidate's value, the candidate finds a new way to artificially increase his value.

And in the end both sides have more work to do...

Sunday, April 03, 2011

Example of Brand Prejudice

In the West Hyundai is known primarily for its cheap, small cars. People living on a tight budget will find it's the only car they can afford to drive. Rich people don't choose to drive a Hyundai, at least not if they want to impress their other rich friends.

The image of Hyundai in the west is low budget, cheap. It's alright to have if there's nothing better to upgrade to...

In Korea Hyundai is The Brand. Part of a huge Jaebol (similar to conglomerate), Hyundai produces not just cheap cars, but big luxurious cars as well. And not just cars per se. Clothes, household appliances, industrial products. Korea's got the biggest and most luxurious department stores, and they are branded Hyundai. In Korea Hyundai is king, and everybody aspires to have Hyundai in whatever shape or form.

Funny how a brand can be nothing in one part of the world, and be everything in another. Remember the Eddie Murphy movie 'Coming to America'? Same thing. One person's floor sweeper might be another person's prince and ruler.

So all in all, don't jump to conclusions; don't judge a book by its cover.

Wednesday, March 23, 2011

Interested But Not Inquisitive

I'm quite confident I can judge people without being prejudiced with a person's heritage, or religion. Therefore, I never start a conversation in that way and use other topics. Any person is welcome to surrender this information though.

If people are inquiring about race or religion just to fuel their own prejudices, that's lazy, offensive and defeats the purpose of conversation. Only your own direct interactions and intentions should be relevant for forming an opinion about each other. Anything indirect is of secondary importance.

Tuesday, March 22, 2011

A Sorry Food Culture

Put simply Holland doesn't have a food culture. Sure people eat, abundantly even. But when people's idea of a decent lunch is a cold piece of bread and a cut of meat and a slice of cheese, then you don't have a food culture. Not a rich one at least. People don't go out for lunch. People hardly go out for dinner.

Sure, Holland has its signature dishes, like boerenkool met worst, or erwtensoep. And there are plenty of restaurants and cafe's where you can eat. But all too often it's a French restaurant, or an Italian, or a Chinese... or McDonald's. All the real Dutch stuff is made at home. Not much more needed, but it doesn't fuel the appetite either.

And if you do go out to dinner in the Netherlands, it will cost you. Actually many other countries' upscale establishments are more expensive than anything the Low Countries can offer (try Tokyo), but you're not getting anything extraordinary for your Euro. Comparatively you can eat a better dinner for less money if you are not in the Netherlands.

Not that the Dutch need a food culture obviously. I mean, they're tall enough.

Wednesday, March 02, 2011

Asian Characters

Language barriers do exist for travelers, unless you're blessed with a knack for picking up new languages. The Asian characters are especially hard to fathom for Western natives. Most of those languages merely have an alphabet and then just rearrange their order to form words, sentences and so on. It's the words that have meaning, rather than the characters themselves.

Chinese definitely works differently, in that characters themselves have meaning. The sequence of characters describes context, meaning and intent. If you're a native speaker/reader, you have gained years of experience understanding that background. If you're a Westerner, you don't have that experience, so you wonder what the heck the characters for person, competition and wind are supposed to say.

Korean and Japanese are supposed to be a little less difficult to pick up. Korean actually consists of an alphabet, but then composes single characters from the individual alphabet components. Those single characters form sounds, which in sequence form words. Japanese doesn't form characters from alphabet components, but it does have two different alphabet systems, which it uses interchangeably. Also Japanese doesn't get away with completely losing Chinese characters, so a Westerner will very often see characters not covered in the alphabet.

Asian character systems are very efficient with regards to footprint. You can imply a lot using only a few characters. It also seems like some people have to say huge amounts of text, but don't write it down. It pays to have the common history, so that you know why people say so much with so little text.

All this makes it unrealistic to just head off to Tokyo, Beijing, Taiwan or Seoul without any language training, and just expect to do well with a small English-to-something else dictionary. You need to learn some simple gestures and the basics, otherwise you're going to remain lost in translation.

Or you could, you know, just go to Belgium instead.

Monday, February 28, 2011

Stop The Nerddom

Nerd style has found a place in the world's fashion scene. Which I guess beats getting bullied all the time. Now boys and girls from all ages take a spin on the nerd side, and manage to make it somewhat hip and happening.

Still I don't agree.
  • No matter what you say, thick-rimmed glasses need to die.
  • Any girl over the age of three must not wear bangs. Any boy also.
  • Please for the love of god, clean up. You smell awful.

Wednesday, February 23, 2011

Addendum to How a Subway System Matures a Metropolis

Honorable mentions: Paris, Moscow, Singapore, Hong Kong

New York isn't in the top five, because the system is unclear (especially the distinction between express and regular cars), MTA just killed the one-day pass, and the stations just look old and dank, especially north of Central Park. For a country always looking for someone to sue, it's surprising they haven't built the barriers next to the tracks at the platforms, like Asian metro systems have.

Amsterdam isn't in the top five, because there aren't enough stations near locations people actually want to go to (more built according to distance, rather than need). The payment system does not cater for visitors, (no day passes) but then again everything visitors need to go to in the city, is within walking distance anyway.

And Dubai's subway isn't actually done.

Skewed Priorities

I work with a lot of foreign colleagues, who all wonder why the Dutch are such limited eaters. For many Dutch people a lunch consists of a cold sandwich, with a piece of cheese, and if you are lucky, some butter as well.

That's it. Also this sandwich costs 1.50 EUR. Unless you prepare a couple of sandwiches at home of course.

Compare this to France, where lunch and dinner are almost equivalent in length, and also just as important. Two-course, three-course, big slabs of meat, succulent pieces of fish, carefully marinated and prepared to the best possible standards. Compare this to Asia, where in virtually no time at all a well prepared dish is served, with copious amounts of rice, pastes and spices.

The French lunch is not cheap, but you're getting what you are paying for. However the Asians have taken cheap lunches to the next level. For the price of two sandwiches in Holland, you can get a proper Karaage Beef on Fried Rice, plus soup and various condiments.

I believe that the priorities of a nation are reflected in the food and in the dishes of its inhabitants. In this case the Dutch are clearly a reflection of their lunches. Basic, and you're getting just enough, and not a grain more.

Monday, February 21, 2011

How a Subway System Matures a Metropolis

Metro systems and other mass transit infrastructure is critical for the maturation and success of modern metropolis. A city needs a way for the native population and visitors to move around in an orderly fashion. And for me buses are bare necessities, but it's the subway that makes the city come alive.

Subways don't just bring people from location to location, they also show where people are most likely to meet - either at or beyond the stations, or inside the metro car itself. It also shows the world the city is capable. London, New York, Tokyo all have world famous subway systems that are even part of the local folklore. Movies get made with these famous tracks part of the plot.

You can't just have any subway system though. Certain qualities must exist:
  • obviously the subway needs to connect locations in the city that people want to go to: (tourist) attractions, trade centers, shopping malls, parks, airports and railway stations etc.
  • transferring between subway lines needs to be seamless and clear.
  • directions and signs should be in multiple languages, at least english and likely some mandarin chinese
  • a payment system (a general mass transit card) that balances the need to cover the cost of the subway, with practical, first-time right logistics. You can't have travellers faff about with paper tickets that need to be checked by a human subway worker, or with complex payment systems that require you to go to three different offices.
  • people need to be able to reverse course easily, without cost to them. The way metro stations and platforms are built, influences this ability.
  • most importantly, subway stations and cars need to be safe and promote good behaviour.
The best I've seen:
  1. Tokyo; Clean. Efficient. Always on time. Easily accessible. Clear directions (when you get the hang of it), which is not easy for a place where Hiragana is the norm. Unfortunately need several travel cards to use all the lines.
  2. Shanghai; the Chinese seemingly built this subway up from scratch, and it shows. All the modern amenities have been thought about, train information is clear from flat-screen monitors, and it is dirt cheap to take a trip. A bit illogical though that sometimes you can't transfer without having to pay extra, and when you make a mistake and check in, you cannot check out immediately for free.
  3. Seoul; user friendly payment system, sprawling network of stations. Transferring between lines is a trip in itself. Seems to take a long time to travel from point to point.
  4. London; Practical. The oldest working metro system, but one that has clearly grown and matured over time. Amazing how basically every line is operated by a different company, yet to the traveler it is completely transparent. A bit cramped in places.
  5. Montreal; esthetically one of the finest systems in the world, rivaling Moscow and Paris. Safe and effective, a clear reflection of the city's population.

Saturday, February 19, 2011

Living Up To Presumptions

People from immigrant families may have had little exposure to their heritage. A prime way of getting back to it, is by visiting the country of origin. Even if they don't speak the language.

What happens when they get there? The locals approach them as if they are one of their own, and are surprised when they are actually not. It makes for awkward conversations.

So before you immigrant self goes soul searching in the exotics, you better pick up on the language.

Wednesday, February 09, 2011

Be Careful What You Wish For: Football Dynasties

The past couple of Super Bowls every winner was lauded and celebrated. They got the trophy, they get the rings fitted, they get the parade and the tour around town.

And about 24 hours after the end of the game journalists are already discussing if this team can repeat next year and become a dynasty. They did it this year with Green Bay, last year with New Orleans. The year before that Pittsburgh won its second in four years. But the years before that, the same question was put for the Giants, and for the Colts.

In fact the last time the dynasty moniker was actually accurate, was when the Patriots won three in four years.

Why people, do you insist on killing the party mood by talking about next season on the very next day?! Let the champs enjoy it for a while. Don't talk about dynasties before the fact. And why do you want dynasties? The NFL prides itself on the fact it levels the playing field every season no matter how good you were the previous season: the salary cap, the draft order, the strength of schedule: all this is meant to give every team a fighting chance.

Being part of a dynasty means you dominate the league, which means a lower degree of competition, less excitement, more resentment towards the dynasty itself, and actually goes against the very core of your league.

Why would you want that? Why do you want the teams to want that?

If you worked so hard to win a title, you deserve to savor it for a decent enough amount of time. If you happen to do it in dominating fashion, so be it. You don't have to throw it in everybody's face, but if you are clearly better than everybody else, then let it be.

Dynasties and repeats are for historians. The press, the owners, the players, the league better work on something more pressing, such as a new CBA...

Saturday, February 05, 2011

The HHG: Packers vs. Steelers

The heart says the Packers win. Having Pittsburgh win everything three times in six years is a bit much, so to balance out karma Green Bay should win. Yes, Ben's story of redemption could do with a winning ending. But that's a bit too American for my tastes. It would be a bit rich and a bit too pre-meditated.

The head says the Steelers win. Division winners and the most solid team coming in. With Roethlisberger at QB, you simply can't count Pittsburgh out in the clutch. The toughest defenders definitely belong to Steeler Nation, although Clay Matthews may have something to say about that.

The gut says all signs point to Pittsburgh winning another Super Bowl and becoming the NFL's own royalty, much like the Yankees in baseball and the Habs in NHL. Not too much of a fan for this, but then again even Green Bay winning it all remains emotionally less charged to the Saints' win last year.

Wednesday, January 26, 2011

The White Dress Shirt

I've had this white dress shirt for a couple of years. I bought it with the tux I had made back then.

Today I got remarked that this shirt was being worn by about ten other men in the same room. Indeed looking around, I noticed there were a lot of guys wearing this same kind of shirt.

Way to go guys. Be proud, copy my ideas.

Sunday, January 16, 2011

Takes Some Time Getting Used To

My first flying experience was quite early on. It was boring, seemed to go on forever, the food was terrible, the seats uncomfortable. Mind you, this was on an airline that grew to be one of the best in the world today. And, compared to others, I was probably incredibly lucky my first experiences weren't with other - lesser - airlines.

Key was the in-flight entertainment, especially if you're flying more than six hours on end. I remember the time when we had to watch a small television screen in the distance attached to the overhead compartment, or the big projector in front of economy class. And we ALL had to watch the same thing.

Flash-forward to now, and we have personal in-flight entertainment. Every seat it's own television screen, and you decide what to watch, listen to or play. What once was a first-class luxury, becomes an economy class staple.

Pity though that the system isn't foolproof. I've had my fair share of flights the past years with in-flight entertainment, and I can't remember a single flight where the system worked perfectly. Either it didn't work, was turned off by flight attendants, the touchscreen was unresponsive, the headsets were broken etcetera.

Now for me, I remember the 'dark ages' of in-flight entertainment, so I'm not too bummed out about it. I am an experienced traveler, I'm patient, I know how things work in an airline, I manage on my own quite nicely.

You can't imagine the complaining though that people around me do about the system not working for them nowadays. They are acting like the airline spit in their face. Like it's a primary life function.

I feel ashamed for the human race.

Tuesday, January 11, 2011

If I Knew How To Treat Phobias

You could look to me for a lot of issues. I might have encountered or experienced it before, you know. Could be a phobia as fear of flying, or speaking in public.

As it so happens, I can't really resolve your issue or your phobia. I may be able however to put it to words, and talk about it honestly. Hopefully that gets you north of comfortable.

But if I knew how to treat a phobia, I'd be a physician instead of a consultant. Don't know if that's a good thing or not.

Thursday, January 06, 2011

Addendum to Things That Are Absolutely Mad

  • Lines in front of the Abercrombie and Fitch store. Long ones. Like two blocks long.
  • Bouncers in front of the Abercrombie and Fitch store. Big and Bad ones. With ear pieces.
  • Door Bitches in front of the Abercrombie and Fitch store. If you're not dressed cool enough, you cannot come in... to buy a freakin' sweater!
Sometimes people mistake a clothing retailer for a night club. I wouldn't know why...

Tuesday, January 04, 2011

Things That Are Absolutely Mad

  • KFC Double Down - a chicken hamburger, but instead of bread more chicken hamburgers. Fat ones. Greasy ones.
  • Touching down in the Netherlands for the first time this year, and the first thing you hear is two women bickering and calling each other ho's
  • Standing around for nine hours in freezing cold to watch the ball drop on Times Square
  • Apple Store Manhattan being open 24 hours, 356 days a year. I think the employees aren't actually human.