Look nice and still tell people to sod off

• take someone's telephone number and suggest calling them back later
• bring them something relatively meaningless (cup of coffee usually suffices) and then cut the meeting short
  
• get called away (my phone has an alarm/reminder function which I can set to any time I like; stopwatch also works)
• any of the following phrases work: "I'll look into it"; "I need some time to discuss this with the team"; "the person responsible is not in at the moment, do you want to leave a message?"

I think I prefer this subtle route - which makes people feel empowered, while still getting shafted - rather than the blunt route, which is more honest and truthful, but also makes people angry directly.

Addendum

As an addendum to last night's last point (...the inherently lazy point...): people who are supposed to part with their stuff (government, your boss, your rich great-great-uncle) expect you to be happy with whatever they give. If you want more, you should damn well work harder for it and show them... of course this doesn't account for you having a handicap, having a kid, having a life...

New Stuff Learned Today

• You can actually make yourself absolutely vital in whatever you do. You can make yourself this way without you knowing it, or intending it. You can be absolutely vital and you may not want to: Spiderman had this problem. Or in my case I (believe I) am vital in an area of expertise I don't want to be in.
• I always thought the next step was applying what I've learned on a higher level. And it's not. It's recognizing and estimating what others have learned and reflecting it back on them.
• Even if you are a money grabbing nutcase, you can still make very bad financial decisions.
• People are not just inherently lazy, they also expect others (i.e. the people who give them stuff) to be not. People afford a certain amount of time and energy to achieve some level of comfort. Consequently they expect everyone else to meet them at the other end. And people get angry if they (perceive) you don't, no matter if it's due to lack of willingness, lack of ability, lack of structure, financial limitations or something else.

Pop Quiz, Hotshot

During job interviews, you could get some funny questions that seemingly don't make a lot of sense; these have nothing to do with the job at hand, and are only there to gauge your reaction.

If I were taking an interview like this, I could use this question:

We're walking a lap round a three-story appartment building, and it's raining. The top floor is dry. The ground floor is dry. The first floor is flooded.

How is that possible?

Moment's gone

Some news you're supposed to be happy with, and supposed to enjoy when it reaches you. Of course you should hear this news at the opportune time, not when your cat just died, or you just got a speeding ticket in the mail.

At that point good news - even the best possible news - becomes just news. The moment passes, never to return.

It is so important to cherish the time when something good happens. It should be experienced to the fullest. These moments are so rare, and rely on the convergence of so many factors, it's ridiculous.

Self Fulfilling Prophecies

Here's a thing I've come to realize recently: don't underestimate the power of self fulfilling prophecies. You know the kind. You try to steer away from a bad situation, and end up sleeping with your mom.

The crazy thing is, once it gets that status of self fulfillment, there's no steering possible anymore. Your entire mindset points toward one inevitable outcome, and all your (in)actions will - whether you want it or not - eventually lead in that same direction.

Destiny? I think not. Fate? Heck no. God's Will? Give me a break. Self Fulfilling Prophecies are proof that man is the complete and only cause of its own downfall.

Market value

08:00; resume is activated on-line on job site.

14:00; ten new invitations in mailbox.

wow.

would it work as well on dating sites?

Fastest Ways to Rile Up a Guy

• Stand very close behind him
• Keep asking him the same questions
• Follow him around
• Wave a sledgehammer near his new car
• Repeat yourself
• Tell everyone but him something secret
  

T-Section Ahead, 2 miles

Ever have this feeling, this idea that you have to make a big choice very soon? Either through rational or emotional means changes are forthcoming that you yourself have to trigger. And that's scary. And exciting.

All the cards are in your hand, and the only thing you're waiting for, is when the other shoe drops. You have no idea how things will exactly play out, but you can have expectations, perhaps even hope, if you are so inclined.

And what if not just the other shoe drops, but an entire avalanche comes rolling down on you? Have you played your cards well enough to move out of the way?

Or worse, nothing happens. In that case, did you miss the exit a couple of miles back?

The Creeping Deadline

What is it?: an IT project is sold and a delivery date is set. Now at some point during the project, people (the management, the client, the shareholder) realize that they might be better off if the deadline moves forward a couple of days or weeks, so it better aligns to other departments (finance, marketing, HR)...
Pros: better alignment, thus adhering to client's new constraints
Cons: greatly increased stress on project team (unless of course, the project can defer some of the deliverables to after the deadline)

The thing is, after this entire project ends and is handed-over, the message to the outside world is going to be that the project was completed on time and under budget. The subtext is of course, original time and budget.

And if you get deeper into this discussion, you end having to match every single deliverable to every single sub-deadline defined, and you have a huge mess. People generally just don't bother (unless they're auditing).

Now having a house built is cool. There's this acquisition contract that says the buyer pays for the material and labor costs, for an expected number of days needed to complete the construction. If the contractor goes over the alotted number of days, any additional costs are on his account. But, there's no deadline.

Mind you, this can only be done for mature projects.

Who'd have thunk it?

Back in high school we had this nice older math teacher running the class for a year. He was fast approaching his retirement so we kind of made things easy for him (unlike for some other teachers we had during the time). He had a long white beard, and was short and stocky. If you put a red pointy hat on his head, he looks just like a garden gnome.

Anyways this guy at some point during the year confided in us that he was in fact living with his boyfriend for some time now. At the time that announcement was a big thing. You wouldn't expect that from an nice old man.

Now in every high school class the same roles are played: there's the popular divas in one corner of the room, the nerdy brains in another. And then there's the alpha male, the guy who always shouts the loudest, talks to the most chicks, and always causes trouble. This guy was the typical alpha: was never in class, because he always had some chore to do as punishment for something else he had done. As a result he was not around when our math teacher told us about his sexual preference.

Near the end of the year our alpha started treating us to I guess cake. He lost a bet or something. During math class he passed cake around, and eventually there was so much left over, that he gave everything to the math teacher, adding that he and his wife could enjoy it...

At that point the class fell silent, and all eyes primed on the dude. He was completely stunned and surprised that everyone was staring at him. He didn't know he made a faux pas. We didn't know what would happen next. It wasn't until later he was told the explanation. And seriously, he couldn't sink any lower into the ground at that point.

We've now moved on a decade and apparently our alpha male is dating a male television personality and singer. I can't say what I'm more surprised about: about the idea that he's into guys now, or about the notion that he is dating someone relatively famous.

A fool is made in haste

The most truthful thing I've read today was from an SI.com article, and is about John Madden, now most commonly known as a sportscaster and colourman in NFL games. He doesn't fly planes anymore due to his claustrophobia, and travels around in buses, trains and the like. It changed his outlook on life:

"If the claustrophobia thing didn't happen, I wouldn't know what this country is or what these people are like, (...) I would have been like everyone else: Run, run, run; airport, airport, airport; hotel, hotel, hotel; city, city, city. I wouldn't have found time to see things like I see them now. I got so I knew nothing other than football and the Raiders. You focus in so much, and you miss life."

Aww... shucks

Who Cares? Really this would be a nice gift for a newlywed couple.

Unknow, v.

Verb:
to unknow (third-person singular simple present unknows, present participle unknowing, simple past unknew, past participle unknown)

1. To deny knowledge and familiarity of a previously introduced concept: friendship, failures, movie quotes.
2. To forget, with intention

Irony is Bliss

The most ironic thing I heard today, was at the end of a Delinquent Habits track.

"I thought you don't hold a grudge."

"I don't. I have no more surviving enemies."

Middle East, anyone?

Cheat or Visionary

Three things spring to mind now that Tour de France-winner Floyd Landis has tested positive for high-performance drugs:

• Doping is a bad thing because it supposedly skews the playing field; so make doping legal, make the results public and make the Tour a championship whomever gets the best technology, just like Formula One. Of course people will find new ways to cheat anyway, but if you find out, give them a slap on the wrist, fine them big time, and leave them be. Keeping sports purely natural is rather old fashioned.
  
• If an athlete takes doping, and their health deteriorates, it's their own damn fault. Anyone who wants to take a shortcut, knows some kind of cost is involved. There are no free rides.
  
• Doping really falls second place to inept officiating (see World Cup 2006); I'd rather watch sports where everybody takes drugs than a game where officials muck up with strange decisions, egotistical attitudes and just plain stupidity.
  

Bored out of their mind

People have no higher goals to strive for. All the land on this planet has been colonized (Google Earth), everyone has already done everything (marathon running, climbing Everest, kite surfing, fisting etc.), new technologies are following each other at such great speed that we don't even notice anymore; There's no great threat or enemy waiting just around the corner. No commies, no dictators (because we ousted them all), no diseases (at least not for very long).

Everything's just more of the same. Been there, done that.

People are bored. So people do as people do when they get bored: they surf on the interweb, complain about the high taxes, traffic, the weather, or they go to war. If there are no ideals to reach for, we just make them up on our own. Fight terrorism? Check. Take away nuclear power in Iran/Korea? Check. Israel? Check.

If things are supposed to be faster, better than ever before, then why do people feel so bored out of their minds? In that respect, why do people choose to fill their boredom with extremely pointless activities (genocide, grass, video games etc.)?

Question of authority

You've made it through high school... barely.

You've completed trade school... barely.

You got a job, and now, at 23/24 you are an inspector for the civil works.

You come to my building site on an inspection.

You act all high and mighty that everything is either alright, crap or something in between.

I laugh and dismiss you.

(of course, this is when the full force of the civil works department bears down on me, figuratively crushing me beneath its boots)

Now you'll have to forgive me when a 24-year old boy doesn't make an impression on me, even when he brandishes his official badge in front of me. For some reason with me, you need to earn my respect. Legal issues aside, authority comes with age, experience, and perhaps admiration. I had to earn mine when I was 24 (and older even), and some punk from trade school is not going to change that perception.

I'm just prejudiced like that. Young guys from trade school should know their place. Pay your respects and bring a senior person along for the inspection, alright?

How Consultants Program (Part 1)

Consultants, real consultants, are supposed to be a little bit of everything. A tiny bit accountant, a dash of project manager, a tad of a kindergarten teacher, and a small amount programmer...

Now real consultants who do IT jobs tend to do things in a typical way. They exhibit these little behaviours that are at the very least peculiar to IT specialists. Sometimes it works out okay, other times it's a source of frustration, both for clients and for techies.

1. If it can go wrong, it deserves to be caught.
Exhibited in: code with huge amounts of if-statements or exception handling. Better yet: nested if-statements. Consultants are careful, therefore all situations need to be identified, handled and taken care of. The upside of this is that a consultant can always point out to the client "I took care of that, there: it says so in the code." The downside is that debugging is a losing proposition, as techies wade through a jungle of code.

2. Job done... in a single unit of code.
Exhibited in: huge, huge amounts of code (1000s of lines), that perform one business requirement from top to bottom, without stopping. The upside: consultants show they understand the client's needs, because they did everything in a single run. The downside: lots and lots of code to support. Good luck if you need to find something, let alone change something.

More next time.

Melting

In this heat being outside in the open sun for a significant amount of time is actually not a good idea. Even if you're wearing a bathing suit or a bikini. Even if you drink plenty of water.

So you've got construction workers working on the roads, walking enthusiasts in Nijmegen, sun bathers on the beach, busboys and -girls working the terraces, but other than that there's very little reason to be out there.

Just put me in an air-conditioned room and leave me to my beer. Better yet, stick a parasol in the ground and I'll gladly picknick there.

I just can't seem to put more than two coherent sentences together...