Our motivations are strongly diverse, but eventually they all come back to survival and making sense of life and the world around us. We differ most in the way we drive our value system. Some of us are inherently inwardly oriented, others are outward. The former does not derive value from external factors (e.g. other people's opinions, gossip, awards, recognition), up to the point where he does not care what others think of him. The inwardly oriented person checks himself if he is doing well or not, goes about his business, regardless of circumstances. He can be arrogant, aloof, superior, but also nerdy, uncomplicated, stubborn.
The latter derives much, if not all of his self-worth from how others see him. He is acutely aware of other people's opinions and works to great lengths to bring them in his favor. He does so by being nice, looking people in the eye, showing respect, handing out gifts, shoulder pats and so on. He is uncontroversial, but also seems unreal and sometimes even not very authentic.
Depending on your outlook in life, physical traits, interests, skills you have and/or obtained, one approach or the other works better for you. The great challenge is finding out which one. Unfortunately not everyone gets it right, despite clear evidence to the contrary.
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