Observations from a self-learner course

I've got this Spanish-English course here, a set of audio CDs that basically keeps repeating the same conversations over and over again until you get the hang of it. For me repetition is a good way of learning stuff, especially if I'm doing other things at the side (like in this case, driving). Focus is a funny thing. I focus better when I'm not focusing at all.

Anyway, I just realized the absurd background of my course. It's about two business people going to a seminar in Spain, and asking for their rental car, their flight, their itinerary etc. The guy person asks for all the transport stuff, but the woman colleague is all over the sleeping arrangements. She wants one room for the both of them, a kingsize double bed, for several nights. In fact she corrects the poor hotel desk clerk for messing up the original reservation. The man and the woman have different surnames, so I guess they are not related.

Which leads me to believe:

• these two colleagues are bumping uglies at the seminar
• they made reservations separately not to draw any suspicion, and then changed the reservations afterwards

It's either that, or I truly don't understand a word of Spanish, and I'm imagining things.

Can you name 'em all?

I got to Kung Fu (obviously), Mario, SMB3, Digdug, Street Fighter 2, Street Fighter Alpha (I think), Mega Man, Mega Man 2, Donkey Kong, Gradius, Karateka, Pacman, Urban Champion, Dragonball Z, Track & Field... and then I got stumped... Which are the others?

I told you so... sort of

The following is one of Nostradamus' Quatrains in his work The Prophecies (Century III, Quatrain 70)

La Grande Bretagne comprise l'Angleterre
Viendra par eaux si fort inondre
La ligue neufue d'Ausonne fera guerre
Que contre eux il se viendront bander

The great Britain including England
Will come to be flooded very high by waters
The new League of Ausonia will make war,
So that they will come to strive against them.

Yes, Britain is flooded nowadays, and they are somewhat involved in a war... coincidence?

How To Mess Up a Perfectly Good Car

A Volkswagen Golf is quite a milestone in automotive history. Especially the GTI has become one of the most deceptively quick cars on the road, ever. They made the Golf nice with each new generation, tacking on more and more expensive stuff, while keeping the main characteristic alive... a solid, well-driving car with decent speed and maneuverability.

And then Volkswagen messed it up.

The Golf Plus is the biggest atrocity in the entire line. Driven by misguided market demand, the people at VW decided they needed a people carrier in the series. Probably to cater the boring market segment. As such, they made the Plus higher than a normal Golf, squished the front, and then afterwards gave it a good coat of dull to finish it off.

The drive is terrible. You can't make a bloody left turn without nearly tipping over. The car is so high, the center of gravity has moved up to your neck. And the Plus has all the aerodynamism of a brick wall.

It does seat four to five adults comfortably, so that's a plus. But then again, I wouldn't splash out for one if it were my own money.

I'm glad I'm getting rid of this one.

Road Rules when I'm driving

As I'll be getting new wheels in the very near future, let me reiterate the basic rules for anyone hitching a ride when we're going out...

• If you puke in the car, you're cleaning it immediately... by licking it up. This also goes if you pee or shit your pants.
  
• Only the driver decides who gets added to the ride if need be.
  
• Only the driver decides what that person must do in exchange for the ride.
• Nobody touches the windscreen, the climate control, the radio unless you're the driver or instructed to by the same.
• In case of discussion the driver is always correct. If you still disagree, you can find your own transportation.
• Any of these rules can be strongly adhered to or bypassed at the driver's discretion.
  

Toxicology reports

• I think it's absolutely fantastic that German tv stations ARD and ZDF quit the Tour de France as soon as one single cyclist got caught with doping. It takes quite some balls to walk away from obviously a lot of commercial income to stand up for ethics, and sportsmanship.
  
• Another tox-report eagerly awaited... Benoit did have some kind of steroids in him, but apparently our friendly neighbourhood CSI couldn't determine if these were present at the killings of his wife and son. Thus we'll never know what happened that faithful weekend. Of course everybody's going to spin it in their favour, so WWE will do a hatchet job on Benoit, FOX will turn it back yet again to steroids and the evils of pro wrestling, ex-workers of the industry will spout their personal grievances, company men will sing their praises, and the fans... well... will move on.

I knew I'm stupid, but I am dumb as well

Nope, I am not the smartest guy around, but I could more or less hide that fact behind a facade quite well. Now however even computer games are rubbing it in, that frankly my IQ is not as high as I would like it to be...

We cannot win

I am (along with my colleagues) trying to get a survey running for some time, because we should try to find out what our co-workers think about their jobs. Problem is, so are a lot of other intra-company teams, like HR, the internal telephone service, the lease car service, the management, the facilities department, the finance department, the tea lady and the guys writing marketing articles in the local news flash magazine.

We found ourselves in a position, that we didn't know when it's a good time to ask someone about his job? Right now is no good, since everybody is on vacation, two months ago was no good because everyone was getting three surveys a week, and two months from now everybody will be revving up for the new fiscal year...

Maybe we'll just wing it...

Eighties Denied

The eighties and nineties were the time of my youth. It was all A-Team, Knight Rider, Michael Jackson, Ruud Gullit, Top Gun, Berlin Wall, teen angst, toys and cartoons. Most of what we had back then was crap, but it was what we had, and it is what we nostalgically come back to. How else can you explain the scores of people going to Transformers The Movie, or going to Eighties parties etc.

Some of the things that were cool when you were a kid, are quite embarrassing to admit right now. Some of those actually are best left in the past (certain hairstyles, tube socks). Other things are actually worth quite a lot of money (He-Man action figures, mint condition). Some of those things you might be even proud to say you're still a fan of.

And that's what's been bugging me. Let's say you like Hulk Hogan, or gabber music, but everybody around you found that to be an insipid pastime, and basically ridiculed you for it. Or even worse, they dismissed it as a fad or a phase, and you would grow out of it in time. What would they say if you still like now, what you did back then? (HA!) And have you been fighting for your "right to like", or did you stay quiet until the movie comes out and it suddenly became hip and happening again?

I would say to today's youth that there's enough things in the world people will try to discourage you from. But it's not you who has to stop. The detractors must sell the alternative, or otherwise leave the fad be. You are the only one who can determine what you're supposed to like. Nostalgia will hide the deficiencies of the past anyway, so you might as well work with it, as the years go by.

That's why I don't do jumpstyle, but will let others go right ahead.

Personal Investment

Sometimes things just end. Shows get pulled, companies go bankrupt, wars are lost, people get dead. We are forced to deal with each instance in the best way possible. Often this is directly linked to how much we've invested in someone or something.

For example, I invested a lot of time into pro wrestling. I know and follow the characters, the storylines and am quite up to date with what's going on at each show. These people are real people with their own set of problems and demons. Sometimes one of them just doesn't make it and dies. Sometimes it's unfortunate, other times is downright tragic. It is always however a point of note. Bear in mind, other than being a fan, I have little to no interaction with any wrestler.

Now the other day a message arrived in my inbox, informing me one of my old colleagues from several years ago died. I know the name, probably spoke to him once or twice, and I've likely seen him at a reunion a couple of weeks ago. But I've never worked with him before, and come to think of it, it's rather hard for me to picture his face. So my most immediate reaction was... a shrug.

The difference here is personal investment. I have very little invested in a relationship with this guy, even though objectively he is closer to me than any athlete across the Atlantic. If I invest little, the loss is limited. If I think I can weather the loss of investment, I don't feel bad or worse.

It's a real shitty attitude I realize. But unfortunately it's one that hits closer to home than most people will admit.

Transform And Roll Out (Spoiler)

It's a very Zen-like moment when you hear the voice of Optimus Prime utter the opening monologue. Instantly you're taken back to a time when the world was a clear place. When Autobots were good, Decepticons were evil, every sentient being had a right to exist, and Sky Channel carried the single best cartoon of the eighties.

You hope the live action movie doesn't impact that romantic idea, and still you want it to be upgraded to 2007 standards. With all the CGI, professional soundtrack, Hollywood summer blockbuster production values, vast media exposure and multi-thread merchandise (toys, comics, video game) you can shake a stick at. And thankfully Transformers The Movie does exactly that.

I'm not going to reiterate the movie's plot, and instead we'll just focus on what made the movie great in the theater: the first encounter with Optimus, the interaction between Sam, Mikaela (and Bumblebee), actually the first encounter with Mikaela, the Camaro 2008, the Deceps Blackout, Barricade, and Starscream, Prime kicking ass and taking Bonecrusher's head, Megatron ripping Jazz in two.

You have to appreciate the humour in the movie, which is solid gold. Anthony Anderson doing the Matrix brings the funny. Bumblebee being better at picking up Megan Fox than Shia Leboeuf is just too much. And the Witwicky mother trying to be the understanding parent for an insecure teenager, simply hilarious.

There are some flaws though. The action scenes are MTV-style, as in much too fast to actually see what's going on. The movie moves intermittently from day to night even within the same scene, making it seem like either the scene in real-time would take really, really long, or the director couldn't get the actors to finish their grimaces in time. And like most cult franchises to movie adaptations, the hook of the original had to be Hollywood-ized to make it more tenable to the average movie-goer. Yes, Transformers is definitely a good movie to go to, even for someone who doesn't know TF from the past, but the Autobots and Decepticons don't get nearly enough screentime or dialogue to flesh out their characters, which is the point of the franchise anyway.

The problem is that for all the good things in the movie, it didn't need to be a Transformers movie. Apart from the names, the premise and some of the leitmotifs, anything in the movie could easily have been Go-Bots, or G.I. Joe. Or even the Ghostbusters.

• Will go to the movie again: no, probably not. Can't get the same reaction from the crowd on a post-premiere viewing.
• Will buy the DVD: absolutely. Day it comes out.
• Would go see a sequel: depends if they're gonna focus more on the Transformers themselves next time.

Sore Losers

Apparently Sebastien Bourdais, he of three-time Champ Car World Series champion fame, wasn't too happy how Dutchman Robert Doornbos earned his first victory in ChampCars this past weekend.

Little bit scared of competition are you now Sebastien?

Of course, I would be too, if some upstart rookie from Formula One's nether regions jumped the Atlantic and then proceeded to kick my butt. Especially if I had an inkling of hope I could actually make it Formula One...

But our French friend is not the sore loser here... it's the other Dutch Formula One racers, Jos Verstappen and Christian Albers. They were too proud to race in the States, they'd rather stay at home nursing the kids (Verstappen) or race for 20th place on the grid (Albers). Maybe just as well that the Spyker experiment is not gonna last too much longer.