Deathly lack of inspiration

I've always found it pretty hard to write something in letters, or cards, for birthdays, for moves, for weddings. I'm not a poet, and although I'm sometimes able to get something nice on paper, it's rarely something that's more than three or four lines. It's also quite inconsistent.

Now imagine having to write something for a serious occasion (say, condolences) for someone you don't really know that well. Do you...

1. jot down a short formal sentence or even a word
   
2. scribble down a personal story and a wish, possibly taking more space than you actually have on the card
   
3. write a cliche down from the list as described here

On the one hand I've never been one to write down something that's already been written, and I'm at least trying to stand out a little. But maybe in this case, that's not the goal here. On the other hand I'm also trying to capture the core of the message in as little words as possible.

So... ehm... it's probably best for the future, don't mind my condolences much alright. Just know, I support you, I feel for you, and I hope you get back up if you're down. Just don't expect any wonderful eulogies from me.

An even more inconvenient truth

If you haven't heard about Al Gore's An Inconvenient Truth, you've been avoiding important news for too long guys. Hell, he even got people fired up for a Live Aid-like series of concerts this year, so you know it's gonna be big.

Basically Gore has been giving seminars all over the world to spread the word that the world climate is changing for the worse, and that we all must act now to prevent it from getting really, really bad. The seminar (dated 2005) is formatted into a documentary, interspersed with some brief personal notes from Gore, and released on DVD this past week. Of course, the DVD is very U.S.-centric, but still his argument, his evidence is compelling and an absolute must-see. In fact, this DVD may be the most important to come out in the past year, and comes highly recommended.

I however wasn't planing on making this post a DVD review, but I do want to make a couple of statements about Gore's message in general.

Gore's biggest challenge in all this has not been fighting climate change. It has been getting his point across to (the right) people, and to make them take further action. This is not a new thing. People have to spend a lot of time to put new priorities on other people's agendas, and this is hard. Our time, our energy, our money even is fully spent and fully committed on things that we find important (house, car, work, projects, love, children, mortgage, hobbies, fetishes, vacations etc.), and now someone else is telling us we should make room in our busy schedules for something else. Not to mention that it's about a subject (climate change) that most people know nothing about, want to know very little about, and is so off-the-scale distant and massive, that we don't see the added value fo us. Of course, what Gore aims for is that his argument can convince us that we should make this our problem. That we should re-prioritize and put climate change high on our agendas, because WE feel it is important.

And this is probably where Gore's approach has met resistance. I'm sure most people (orthodox religious excepted) can understand the scientific rationale, and see where Gore is going. What I don't think he has been able to do so far, is - despite all this - to make this more important than all the other points on even a single person's agenda. All our time and energy is already spent, and to put this in, is to take something else out. Maybe something that's actually the livelihood of a person (farmer in the Amazon; gas driller in the North Sea; car manufacturer in Detroit), who doesn't have no alternatives, and is not presented with any. His argument is strong, but much too general, and too final as well (Stop doing this now).

Gore's argument goes another way, and he makes it a moral issue. 'We should act now, because it is the right thing to do. Because it is what we must do to give our children a future.' He is absolutely right about internalizing the issue in people, tie it into things that are important for them, like progeny. Again however, this only appeals to certain groups of people. Plus, the argument appeals to making expectations about the future, and we all bloody well know how bad we are at doing that. Most people will just leave it at that.

The message is diluted with me in a couple of ways. I could use public transport to go to work, and leave the car. I could drive more responsibly, drive right lanes always, 90 km/h on the freeway. But I like driving my car. I feel inconvenienced when I have to wait on a train to arrive. I feel frustrated when I lose half an hour each way because I have to ride along longer tracks. I hate the look of the hybrid cars (I'm looking at you Toyota). And I worked hard to get in a position where I can actually drive a good car, not necessarily environmentally sound, and I can use it to get in the fastest way I can imagine. I have invested time and energy to get a car, and I was not about to let it go. The car is an internal value for me.

I could sign up for green energy, instead of the standard brown stuff. But why should I pay more for what's essentially something that I don't notice at all? My house is not gonna smell nicer, my lights are not gonna be brighter, my oven won't go any faster, hell my TV won't suddenly last twice as long.

You want to make sure I take part? Fine, but let me keep all the stuff I find important and don't bother me with extra costs. It's expensive enough as it is.

See? A very individual view on what this guy feels is important to him. And I doubt other people feel differently (not about cars and energy per se, but definitely about something).

Society consists of individuals now, because it can. There's no real big issue floating above us (hostile aliens, meteorites, war or natural disaster if you look at the local Dutch scale), that can make us re-prioritize. Things can change quickly though. It only takes one flood, one drought, one serious loss of life, to put global warming top on everyone's agenda. Only this time, it is forced upon us.

Al Gore hopes we individually see the light and take action before it gets that far. That we can actually do something about it, in our own time. Not when the tide is up to our nose. I sincerely hope he succeeds.

So true, So true

Can't say it any better.

Results from the Superhero Compatibility Contest

What Women Want 2007

Some observations about the Women's Fair.

• the knock against women that they can't park... It's true. For some reason the very concept of lines, wheels, and other visitors to the fair are foreign to them. Often they just park them across two parking spaces. The fair's parking garage had to be expanded with an additional wing, just to accommodate all the cars. Thing is, the same amount of cars, but driven by men, fit comfortably next week at the AutoRAI.
• know this scene from What Women Want? Where Mel Gibson finds out for the first time he can hear women's thoughts? Where he gets run over by jogging women? I've had that for real.
  
• single guys: you can see very quickly if the girl you're dating is worth the time: just look at her mother. And guess what... they're both here at the fair! If the mother's fine, you're set. But if the mother is dead ugly, RUN AWAY.
• are Call TV presenters failed fair promotion girls/guys, or are fair promotion girls/guys failed Call TV presenters?
• best t-shirt I found: "Your daughter is safe with me."
  

Road test: Cat-II Leasecars

If during the coming year you need an affordable, attractive, well-driving car to lease, you are not exactly spoiled for choice. It's pretty hard to find one that satisfies even two of the above-mentioned characteristics, let alone all three. Personally I like cars with a little more speed and explosiveness under the hood, but not at the cost of me having to sleep in the car, or driving a cardboard box.

It means I end up driving cars that fit these criteria:

• maximum car value of around EUR 26.000, which keeps the tax hit a bit manageable
  
• top speed around 200 km/h, acceleration 0-100 km/h around 10 s
  
• diesel engined-cars
• I have to like the look of the car inside, outside; and the drive has to be good, taking corners has to be brisk and sharp

At the moment two cars satisfy these criteria, the Seat Leon 1.9 TDI, and the Alfa Romeo 147:

The Leon by itself is a beautiful car, since the upgrade last year made it look more zesty. The streamlined look, the bubble-shaped back of the car all contribute to a great look. Inside the Leon is solid, if just a little bit uneventful. And the same goes for the ride: uneventful. The Seat drives solidly, but is very much like a Polo, a 206, a Clio i.e. unsurprising. It does exactly what you think it should do, it behaves completely according to your steering, and generally doesn't leave you hanging.

And that's a bad thing, because in that case I need to justify why I should pay EUR 26k for a car that drives pretty much like a car that's worth EUR 17k.

The Alfa drives a lot less predictable than the Seat. A 147 is a strange car that has a certain temperamente, and a mind of its own. For example it cannot make up its mind what temperature it is outside (5 degrees Celsius... no 3... now it's 4... oh now it's 0... err... 2, no wait 3... etc.). The exterior is beautiful, but in a more classic and chic way, rather than the brash and bold shape of the Leon. The interior is gorgeous at the first impression. However a closer look reveals that the gear shift stick is about as thick as a pencil, and the glove compartment is held together with two pieces of string.

Which one would I choose? I think I enjoyed the drive more in the Alfa than the Seat, and I think the extra nine thousand or so euros I can easily justify. Of course, I got suspicious about the over-reactive thermometer, the flimsy interior design, but in the end you have to know just one thing... which car pulls more women? Exactly...

Truly, to quote the guys from Top Gear, you cannot be a true petrol head unless you've driven - for any length of time - an Alfa Romeo. To experience the joy of driving it, the agony and frustration when you go back to the garage to have something or other fixed... this is what true motoring is all about...

...and besides I'm only gonna be driving it for a year or so.

Going Mental

So this is what a breakdown feels like...

Frustration sets in quickly. The feeling of irritation is far greater than before. Control over emotions is gone. Everything is full-on, head-first, attack-always.

Nobody's safe. Everyone's a victim.

Now I see the appeal for booze, drugs and rock and roll. Takes the edge off things.

Colts win Superbowl XLI

Seriously, I couldn't understand how many turnovers you could get in a single half of football. If you were even only slightly more of a fan of either the Colts or the Bears, you must have had a rollercoaster of emotions. We've seen fumbles, botched snaps, botched kicks, even more fumbles, and giveaways. It's just that the Bears were slightly worse at it than the Colts.

But let's talk about the non-football things: Billy Joel is a mean drunk with a coarse voice from the Jack Daniels; Prince's Purple Rain looked a little more suspicious and a lot less innocent than was intended behind the curtain; half-time shows were a lot more fun when MTV hosted them.

(Lifetime sports prediction record: 5-1)

P9UA: SonyE P990 Users Anonymous

We may need a P990 users association very soon. Here's what I found of this phone in the past month I've been using it:

• battery life is a mess when you turn all the features on (Wifi, camera, radio/mp3, screen light), so I end up turning everything off until I need it. Otherwise one phone-call will drain the P990. Luckily the phone can be powered up with the usb-cable, which I always carry around with my laptop, in a 15 kg laptop bag...
  
• turning the phone on takes longer than switching on my computer, which is damn long; luckily I don't need to turn off the phone that often...
• the battery cover is stuck to the phone with nails and staplers and superglue, and you have to call the green berets just to remove it. Pretty strange, since the cover itself is a flimsy sheet of plastic. Luckily the cover doesn't need to come off a lot. Unluckily upgrading the phone's firmware REQUIRES you to take your sim-card out, which REQUIRES you to remove the cover...
• the camera still is not too good in the dark, despite the flash light; also it locks up if it is too dark and you need to make adjustments. And if the phone locks up, you need to remove the cover...
• all the features you would ever need (RDS radio, business card reader, organizer, birthday calendar etc.) are in the P990, but to find them, you need a flashlight, climbing tools, a sherpa, a signed warrant, ropes and a GPS tracking system...
• the phone is highly intelligent: so much so, it knows when it is tired and turns itself off...

I've gotta hand it to SonyEricsson: the phone is quite good in what it does and offers. It also has some handy features (the slide lock for example is a brilliant idea), and some of the criticisms were unfounded (the reduced screen height isn't detrimental to the usability, and the keyboard is even quite good for my fingers). It is still however not as good-looking as the P900 (without keypad), and it is definitely not as user-friendly as a Nokia.

Heart, Head or Gut: Superbowl XLI

SUNDAY, SUNDAY, SUNDAY! Superbowl XLI LIVE FROM MIAMI

sorry got a little carried away... anyway, Chicago Bears vs. Indianapolis Colts

The Head Says: Colts win, because there's one guy in this game who is ostensibly the best player in the league today, and possibly the most gifted quarterback of the last ten years (I said gifted, not most successful or most clutch, mind you, because that's Tom Brady), Peyton "Hate His Ugly Mug" Manning. Seriously, the guy looks and speaks like a hillbilly, but he works harder than anyone else, throws the best passes this side of Canton, and he has the best story coming into the Superbowl... he is the guy who could finally end his championship-less streak. Otherwise he might end up like Dan Marino... a fantastic quarterback, probably the most powerful of his generation, but also one who was never able to win the Big One.

The Heart Says: Bears win, because I hope Brian Urlacher and co. kick ass and keep Indy winless for another year. Besides I don't much like the look of the Colts' uniforms, too clean.

The Gut Says: Colts win. Considering everything, the Colts have gotten together at the right time, beat their eternal rivals (Patriots) and seem poised to finally make good on their potential. And of course Manning is the Man of Destiny, lest he become the 21st century version of Marino.

(Madden 06 says: Indy wins by two scores)

All Connected

Using my mobile phone I am able to send and receive photos, e-mails, video, soundbytes, and so on. It doesn't matter if I am at home, at work, in the gym, in the pool, in the car, eating or sleeping. I can make pictures, surf the internet, write a letter, listen to music, setup a meeting everywhere (at least, if a connection is available)...

...and yet there's a strange emptiness in all this. Should I actually be able to do all this at any time, in any place, no matter what I'm doing? The promise is to be able to save time, because you should be able to react and to act on information and new events nearly instantaneously. But all this actually ends up costing me more time: instead of dedicating and focusing specific moments to specific tasks (like answering my e-mail, calling a friend, gathering information about a new topic), I end up doing everything at once. That can't be effective.

What can I do about this... well for one, my phone is not set up for e-mail, so that won't be able to bother me much (my personal high was reached the past few months: more than 200 mails addressed to me personally or requiring my attention per week, spread over five addresses); I cleaned up my phonebook to just the people I call regularly; and I still pay extra for SMS, so that puts a constraint on my thumb-exercises.

So I can just focus the use of my phone on things I find useful about it: listening to radio or Mp3, reminding me of appointments, and making pictures.

Scary Stuff

The scariest things I've noticed this week:

• I can go to the hospital, and without even introducing myself the doctor and the receptionist and the radiologist know my name, my face and my appointment. How scary is that that people working in a hospital recognize you just by you walking in the room?
• I can take a day off from work, and still get called by work by 9:00 am. (Not that I pick up or anything) How scary is it that a project you work at is dependent on your input all the time?
• I got to see where I rank in the age-category at my company, and strangefully enough, I am at or near the average. That means that there's a lot of people younger than me, and that I am old. How did that happen?
  

You Really Don't Want Me To Drive Do You

The process of selecting a new lease car is as quick or slow as you want it to be. If you don't really care, you don't drive a lot, you like the environment more than the ride, you'd probably not spend a lot of time on the choosing part. "Just give me anything that has four wheels and a roof and I'm golden", you say. In fact, you probably don't need a car at all.

However if you do mind, you can make a full project of selecting the best car out there. So you make a shortlist of cars or brands you like, compare the different extras and options between each other, you'll make some test drives, discuss some views with your friends or colleagues in the know, setup a budget, and so on.

Unfortunately there's this thing in the Netherlands called bijtelling. It pretty much screws up the whole deal, because it eats your net pay (literally!) like a fat guy in a snackbar. I'm sure most employers can happily pay for the monthly lease amount, because it's not that big a deal to them. Employees however have to bear the burden of covering the added tax. The alternative is to lease a cheaper car, with less extras, less exposure, less horsepower and so on.

In all fairness, if you want to drive a car, you'll have to pay for the privilege. It's just terrible though that we live in a country that doesn't trust people to drive, so much that it has to resort to paycheck stripping to discourage them.

Locked Out

Now: you spend a long time in the office just to avoid all the chaos and traffic during the worst storm in sixteen years. You end up driving home at about one hour past midnight, and everything seems to be okay (apart from all the tree branches on the road).

And then you arrive home and find the door doesn't open...

Argh!

Now, how was your storm experience?

Pattern of growth

Once you start something new - be it in your work, with people, in a new activity - you would be very reactive in your approach. You react to events, which at that point are all new. You have to adapt continuously to everything because you've had little to no experience with the subject matter. Basically it all boils down to not knowing what to expect.

Most people do okay in this reactive phase. People can adapt quite well and perform as best suited to them. A rare few may have genuine talent for the task, and thus not just do okay but even do very well. In the end though people still react to outside and current stimuli.

Once you gain more experience, confidence, skill and so on people become more proactive in their ways. They have learned which events require their utmost attention and which are negligible. They know when certain events or topics are due and anticipate on their outcome. They know what is important to accomplish the task and manipulate their surroundings to suit.

Proaction is being able to perform ahead of events, either by preparing for their occurance, or to be in a position where you can reap the most rewards from them. If you are really good, you can completely flesh out a full scenario with everything that could possibly impact the outcome of the task, and have the measures to control each factor.

But this is not the ultimate behaviour people should grow to. Eventually people grow so experienced that they not only anticipate on expected events, but can actually initiate unexpected events as well, which others have to adapt to. Only a select few can actually accomplish this. These people are called entrepreneurs.

Rugs. Pulling. From. Under.

Politics is not a fun game to play. In fact it's quite irritating that you can actually win with skills that seemingly have nothing to do with the game at hand. Looking nice, or having the most campaign money win you the presidency sooner than having a good story or a noble nature.

What's worse is that politics often involve you, even when you're not playing in that game yourself. For instance you could try to shape your career as best as possible, and your manager is trying to help you with that, but your boss blocks it, because his interests are best served by blocking the manager's.

That last one is the worst. Not being able to do anything, apart from acting like a petulant child, and just being thrown around between two raging bulls.

I vow to be in the position where I choose which games to play, or be played in.

I don't believe this...

1. Just to make your dishes smell better in the dishwasher, our favorite dishwashing fluid has added perfume to its arsenal some time ago. Now when you open the machine after the programme has done its job, your entire cutlery, all your plates smell like a Chanel No. 5... sort of.

People actually complained about the smell, so now our favorite dishwashing fluid maker has also made, get this, a smell neutralizer to put in the washer.

2. Is there actually no one else that finds two ice skating shows, running simultaneously, depicting the very same vapid, interchangeable, semi-famous Dutch people, a little bit overkill?

Gathering Info

My Modus Operandi for every new situation I'm in, is as follows:

• look around, observe; take up every little detail in the environment, the people, the relationships. get a feel for the place
  
• don't look out of place, but don't be too familiar either. I'm not here to play games, but we have to build some level of trust
• take time to think; I will not be pushed or pulled until I get an idea where I want to go

And once I've gathered all the evidence I need...

BLAM!!

• Attack, Full On, or Sideways. Subtly or out-in-the-open. It depends on who I'm dealing with.
  

Ruthless Aggression

Most people who know me a little bit would say I'm not a calm character. I yell, I slap, I curse and generally make it well known if things are not going my way. I can lash out with the best of them, and I will chew out everyone who gets in my way.

However, if you really think this is my standard demeanor, then you'd be quite mistaken. If you think I am an emotional person, then you'd be wrong.

Emotions to me are those feelings - when you take away all reason - is that which doesn't go away. You don't choose to be emotional. You're either sad, or happy or you're not. I however choose to be aggressive, if it gets my point across or serves my purpose. (Of course that's not to say that I don't occasionally shout out, but those specific instances are rare.)

If you are truly emotional, you let all your feelings just flow over you. If you feel like crying, you do. If you are in love, you zoom around like you're walking on clouds. That is definitely not the case with me. You'd see I'm tired, you'd see I was mad (but that may be my intention), but you would never see me miserable, or sympathetic.

I grew up being told never to cry and never to show emotions, and that has completely messed up my emotional growth. The only outlet I have in fact is frustration. Thankfully most people (most men actually) have the same problem. Apparently it is (was) the way society told men to follow. Be strong, be all business. Never show weakness.

Of course this was the source of many jokes about the differences between men and women.

The aggression, the frustration, it is not an emotion. It is not a cause, not even a symptom. It is a means to an end.

Selling

From the wikipedia: "In professional wrestling, the sell is the element of making the action (the wrestling move) appear to be at least somewhat realistic to the crowd."

Now when we try to sell products to our customers, we pretty much do the same. We make whatever we propose somewhat realistic and attractive to the customer.

There's also something called no-selling, and overselling. In our case, it would mean we either treat the customer like shit, or we offer something that is over-the-top, out-of-our-league, out-of-our-mind.

Now ideally we would be selling, but more often than not, we do the oversell. If the market allows, we would no-sell. Why do either? It's hard to find the right mark. And only the boys and girls who can effectively sell, are the ones who can keep the attention of the crowd (and thus sell tickets).

Guess that McLaren SLR will have to wait

Of course, you all hope you're a little bit richer after New Years, and that your lucky number finally pays off. That finally the television cameras head your way to interview you, hand you the keys to your new car (*cough* Nissan Micra *cough*), or a big five foot cardboard cheque with at least a six figure number...

You'll all be happy to know that I had the grand total winnings of...

Zero

Nil

Zilch

So that means that one of you guys actually won something in the lottery! Congrats! Let's Drink!

Springing Big News

Some people just want all the attention. You know the year is about to close and you think everything is calm and ramping up for the new year... and then there's these guys who just have to butt in and take some of the thunder. This year it's Saddam, who just manages to squeak by with a televised execution at the close of year.

Bad thing is, I don't think Saddam's execution has much of an impact anymore. I'm sure victims' families during his regime are celebrating now. But the fighting, the war still continues; the suffering does not end. In fact, it just pisses some people off more.

Don't you just hate people who always need to have the last word?

Lessons Learned Today

• Black Russians and Long Island Ice Tea are good... except when you haven't had dinner
• "Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever"
• People never look their age; that can be good, can be bad...
• Nerds can be babes
• All IT administrator departments are the same
• Babes can be nerds...
• ...really, they can
  
• The Truth is Closer than You think...
• ...so why don't you turn to some spirituality for a change
  

Reviews and Resolutions

This year I've been able to do everything I set out to do at the end of last year. I got elected (twice), got promoted, and got my home in order. The respect and attention are rising (although people still find it extremely hard to spell my first name correctly), the attraction and interest is growing (from people I would not have expected).

Of course there were setbacks, from all the garbage I had to put up with (literally), to the nervousness I endured about new job offers and late furniture orders. And of course that stretch goal of meeting that very, very special someone...

Now for the coming year we're going for:

• new wheels!
• higher returns-on-investment in love, life and liberty
  
• leadership role in the workplace
• more pictorials on my camera phone!
• cooking a three-course meal
  
• dancing salsa
  
• speaking rudimentary (but understandable) Japanese, French, Italian, Portuguese, Spanish, Chinese and Turkish
  
• a clean sweep in my Heart-Head-Gut predictions!
  

Importance

The things people find important can be found in the traditions they keep, the rituals they hold. I myself have a couple, such as celebrating my birthday every other year with a huge dinner... You probably would also stay with your family during Christmas... My father prays every day after getting up and just before going to sleep... Our team has this Friday-night drinking binge where we just forget about the week and start our weekends as they should... entire droves of Americans gather round the television to see a football game during Thanksgiving or Christmas Eve... These are all examples of institutions, traditions, and rituals that people tend to keep. Every single one valuable, albeit for different purposes.

Traditions gain strength the longer the period during which they are retained. Sometimes even so much that we forget the original purpose behind a tradition, and raise the tradition itself to importance. That seems to be recurring issue in religion, anthropology, but also politics.

I do think that whatever I find very important I should institutionalize, turn in to a tradition or a ritual. I just have to make sure that I don't forget what I did it for in the first place.

Region Free

Why do I - if I happen to have other interests than my fellow countrymen - be subject to higher costs, more trouble and generally more nuisance if I want to watch a DVD from the States on a Dutch DVD player?

Why should I be limited to the market in the European Community, while the stuff that I like is from across the Atlantic?

Seriously, whoever came up with the bright idea of region-protected DVDs deserves to get his tires slashed.

Things nobody wants to know about 2006

Music
Band du jour: The Feeling (with two nice top-class singles spanning the last 12 months ['Sewn' and 'Fill my little world'] this band has finally hit the limelight. Inoffensive, unlike Coldplay; Underplayed, unlike Keane; and Truly Engaging, unlike U2)

Honorable mention: Sandi Thom - Smile, It Confuses People

Games
Videogame I played most this year: Warhammer 40K: Dawn Of War: Dark Crusade (and only because I got tired of simulating yet another NBA Live season)

Honorable mention: Does The Sims count if you only use it to model your house?

Sports
Most tragic sports moment: 2006 Lakeside final, Jelle Klaassen beats four-time winner Raymond van Barneveld (Barney gets booed off the stage, tail between legs. His coup to tie former five-time winner Eric Bristow at the Lakeside failed miserably; Jelle runs off to smooch with his girlfriend... who just so happens not to be his girlfriend anymore six months later)

Honorable mention: Andre Agassi saying goodbye at the US Open (would have won the award, if I didn't think the crying was a little bit over the top)
Honorable mention 2: Zidane. I don't need to say more I think.

Movies
Picture I most wanted to see, but didn't: Clerks 2 (supposedly Kevin Smith's worst outing, but I have yet to pass judgement)

Honorable mention: Cars; X-Men 3; Da Vinci Code (Bought them all on DVD)

Television
Stay-at-home-for-this: Bones (Dr. Brennan is strangely, naively hot; and the show kicks ass in every corner of the globe)

Honorable mention: House MD (Got the entire first and second season on DVD already, so don't need to stay at home)

Finally, some memorable quotes I heard this year (thanks, to all sources, notably Gerard):

• "When Jezus died, it took him 3 days to respawn... NOW THATS WHAT I CALL LAG!!!" (someone who plays first-person shooters)
  
• "The day that a child realises that all adults are imperfect he becomes an adolescent, the day he forgives them he becomes a man"
• 'I thought you didn't hold a grudge'
  'I don't. I have no surviving enemies.'
  (Delinquent Habits - Everyday)
• Nothing is as equally distributed as common sense; everybody thinks he's got plenty.
• {makes sense only in Dutch} Het is niet toevallig dat beleid en debiel uit dezelfde letters bestaan.
• {makes sense only in Dutch} De vraag des levens is: Gaan we Door of Slaan we Af. Maar voor de meeste mensen is het: Slaan we Door of Gaan we Af.
  

Things I've noticed in 2006

Apart from all the things I've learned in 2006, there are also some news snippets that I happened to come across this year that were either unsettling, noteworthy, funny or simply strange.

• Jerry Stackhouse fouls Shaquille O'Neal into the stands during Game 4 of the 2006 NBA Finals... and not just by any small amount either... funny thing is, Shaq is 7' 1", 325 pounds; Jerry is 6' 6", 218. And yet Stackhouse - a full seven foot smaller and over 100 pounds lighter - manages to knock Shaq into the second ring. Even funnier: 6' 4", 212 Dwyane Wade manages to stop O'Neal from going after Stackhouse.
• And that means I have to note this year's best known sports hit, Zidane-Materazzi at the World Cup Final. I've already mentioned the brilliance of Zidane's actions, but HOW HARD was that head butt in the first place!
• On a sadder note: Tamara Wolfers managed to get the city square completely filled to the brim... after getting killed in her home this past summer. The thing I have trouble with, is that the person or the people who killed her in the first place, are probably ruthless enough to not let anyone know about it. What's the point of asking then?
• Less serious, but still tragic: the Bos en Lommer complex where people got forced out of their newly minted apartments because the floor cracked... Of course I have a lot of recognition with my own situation this year, and I found out one of my old classmates was actually being interviewed on television!

Next time, let's talk about the cool awards for this year!

Things I've learned in 2006

• It's rather hard to give sincere compliments; it's possibly even harder to give sincere compliments that are in fact negative. And yet there's one that works about 90 percent of the time: insecurity. If you tell some girl she's insecure, she's not gonna slap you upside the head. She's not gonna yell at you, call you names. However, she will feel empowered because (finally) someone else noticed a trait in her that she values greatly.
• I used to think my most important motivation in life was to be right all the time. Win all negotiations, win every discussion, always be the (moral) victor; Although it is still an important motivation, there's one that trumps it: getting asked. I don't need to be right all the time, but I value greatly that everyone comes to me first for everything. That's why I put myself upfront for the owners' association, and the works council, and proposals at work, and giving training and so on and so on. And sometimes this snowballs and consumes me whole.
  
• I am completely unwilling to take a risk to be truly and completely happy in love. Several different opportunities presented themselves in which clearly one more step from me could seal the deal. And every single time I choose to back away instead. Now if I just keep doing that, it ceases being bad luck, and just becomes symptomatic. I choose to be unhappy, because otherwise, I wouldn't know what to do with myself. Nope, it's not a unique feeling I'm sure, but it is one that can only be felt and carried within.
  
• I learned people from my past apparently think I'm worth looking up, even after an extremely long amount of time. I didn't learn however why exactly. Given my newly found most important motivation, I am extremely honoured by it, but understand it I don't. I mean, have you seen me back then?
• Pro-action is a misunderstood concept; there's only this trait that allows you to remember everything and prepare for everything well ahead of time. It is being careful and disciplined. You react to gaps and issues, and that's not pro-action, it is a re-action. Except in this case the action is taken before the issue, instead of after. The concept pro-action people speak of and value highly should not be called like that. It should be entrepreneurship.
  
• People think and feel as they do, because they do. Your success in society depends greatly on if you can convince many or if you can convince key people to match your thinking and/or feelings. And you have to. If you just sit still and hope everyone will eventually make the world as it should be ideally, then you can wait for a bloody long time. Just like pro wrestling, you need to sell it to pop the crowd.
• I don't have a problem with my salary. I do however have a problem with what I am able to do with it. I perceive that given my environment, experience, track record, skills, attitude, strength, education etc. I should be able to go out every week, fly out for a vacation twice a year, buy and maintain an appartment, buy reasonably nice stuff, get proper health care, drive a nice car and so on. I should be trusted to be able to do so, but society doesn't, so I have to cave a little: no nice car, no second vacation. The solution is simple: Either my salary goes up, or the prices overall go down.
• The Flop, The Turn, The River
• Italian, Japanese, Portuguese and French
• No matter how well I prepare presentations or sales pitches, it becomes completely irrelevant to how I feel during the actual pitch. If the body gives out, the body gives out. Nothing I can do about it.
  

The Yearly Recurring Question

Every Christmas we keep asking ourselves the same dumb questions:

• do we send Christmas cards
  
• who do we send it to

One year you lean one way and send out sixty, the next year you can't be bothered.

Next you have to sift through the address book and see who deserves one from you, because in your mind, getting a Christmas card from you is a great, great honour. Unfortunately it only takes one ill-advised and unwanted card from someone you don't really know very well (or even like), and the whole plan goes down the gutter... because it's Christmas, and you are a nice person (you are, trust me) you feel obliged to reply with another card...

The head hurts with so many tough issues...

But anyway... My apologies to JP, WO, Marieke, Nina, Iv, Frank, Faab, Patrick, Rolf, OJ, Marco, Wan, Wendy, Chantal, Frans, Elger, Eef, Peet, Miel, Natalie, Aiwen, Patje, Marion, PL, Marijke, Rogier, Nathalie, Willy, Nina, Mart, Pam, Erik, Iwein, Marte, Kee, Tina, Janneke, JC, Chiel, Rahul, Yuri, Maaike, Rob, Alex, Pa, Ma, Roel, Chieltje, Nelis, Patriek, Aad, Fabian, Thomas, Susan, Jeroen, Diana, Joepie, JF, Esther, Lala, Maart, Ed, San, Daniele, Jetze, Wen, Jeroentje, Roepie, Ronald, Mark, Jacq, Marvin, Becky, Rein, Maria, Lizzy, Sander, Gerard, Marc, Wim, Naat, Emiel, Miran, G-Brand, Tamara, Bartje, Marleen, Josine, Onno, Otis, Edwin and the rest of the family. All your getting from me this year, is eternal free publicity on this page. (Hurrah!)

Happy Holidays to all!

Immediately flip the channel if I hear these songs this month

Where are the original christmas songs? Every single year you keep hearing the same stuff over and over and over again. It's not like there isn't plenty of other good (better) stuff around than

• All I Want for Christmas (is for you to shut up) - Mariah Carey
  
• I will always love you (oh please) - Whitney Houston
• Last Christmas - WHAM! (Oh come on, it's frickin' George Michael for godsakes)
  
• My Heart Will Go On (just sink the boat already) - Celine Dion
• Don't they know (the entire western world must celebrate christmas, and you starving saps must enjoy it too, if it's the last thing you do) - Band Aid
  

Of course, I will also switch off if I hear anything by Beyonce, Keane, Coldplay or U2, but that's just a matter of principle.

Persistence is Futile

Human nature when it really comes down to it, is not so hard to understand. In its purest form we are all cavemen trying to make sure we have plenty of meat when we're hungry, enough mammoth wool when we're cold, and enough escape routes when a troupe of sabertooth tigers comes down our alley.

In the modern age we did however frick it up big time, with religion, race, love, power, drugs, economy, wealth, fear, and science making things endlessly more complicated.

It all comes from the same motivation. Human nature is to survive in the broadest sense of the word. We procreate to have our genes dispersed and evolve when we ourselves cannot. We leave lasting legacies of our work in this land (a skyscraper, a wood carving, a book, a piece of music) so that generations of people can enjoy it. We provide - by the very actions we take - inspiration and new experiences for others to have. Maybe survival is not really the right word. Persistence is better. Human nature is to persist. Everything we do is about making our mark in the world, regardless of our lifespan.

You could say nothing in our lives can persist forever. If you are an astronomist adhering to the Big Bang/Crunch theory, eventually all of existence will eventually vanish. Even if you're not, you could still be sensitive to the Sun either swallowing the Earth whole or taking the planet out with a huge snuff. So in that sense, what's the use?

Persistence is futile, the Borg would say.

Or you could go my way, which is this. While our lives are irrevocably driven by the passage of time, each moment stands on its own. Maybe some form of existence is allowed to see the universe without regard of time, and experience only individual moments. I strive to have each moment make me look good. I don't need to do or to act to persist. I already do, by the very fact that I am here.

Life is persistence. What exactly makes you look good or even remotely interesting at any given moment though is something that you only occasionally choose and sometimes stumble unto.

Never Admit

This is strange I think. People who participate heavily in traffic know what a drag it is to have sections of highways camera-controlled for speed limits. The biggest criticism they have is that other drivers always drive slower than the maximum speed limit, just to make sure they are not caught and fined. This makes sure traffic flows very erratically.

Now, I have never heard anyone say that they deliberately drive slower than the speed limit, or at least to the degree where we find it irritating. Everyone will keep to the maximum speed, give or take a mile.

I have this speed trap in my neighborhood that shows you your speed as measured by radar. I passed it recently and it said my speed was 5 km/h slower than my speedometer showed. That's a FIVE km/h discrepancy.

I know car manufacturers deliberately gauge speedometers higher than the real car speed, simply to avoid people getting caught with speed tickets all the time. However the discrepancy is different from car to car. Everyone thinks they are driving at 80 km/h, but some cars may actually be travelling 5 km/h slower, others 7. Still others 3.

Here's a strange idea... have car manufacturers lose the discrepancy for once and gauge the speedometers of all cars to their actual speed. That will improve traffic flow.

And no, you still cannot drive 40 km/h on the freeway.

Motivation and Attitude

The Chelsea football club youth system apparently has this neat psychological profile for their players, along the dimensions of Motivation and Attitude. It looks highly useful in a football context, but it seems also useful in my context...

The motivation dimension mainly has to do with the degree of proaction a person exhibits. A highly motivated person is less likely to sit still and more likely to take action. The attitude dimension describes if a person tends to see things in a positive light or a negative one. A person with a good attitude leans more towards positivity. When faced with challenges he finds solutions, thinks ahead, and he cares.

Now, considering these two dimensions, four main profiles come into play:

• a person with low motivation and bad attitude is a Victim. He draws everything that's bad toward himself, and internalizes it. He feels personally attacked.
• a person with low motivation and good attitude is a Spectator. These guys let everything run their course, often to their own detriment. They wait things out and are likely to stay still rather than take action.
• a person with high motivation, and bad attitude is a Cynic. Cynics are actually often very skilled people, but extremely two-faced and always highly negative about their immediate environment. They can be regarded as egoists.
• finally highly motivated people with good attitudes are Team players. You simply cannot have enough of these.

Paid in trust

I think I already mentioned before that I don't really get how money works. Of course I followed the economics classes, went to business school, learned all the theories; but fundamentally the essence of money still eludes me.

Yup, all the cliches still apply. The world needs to go round; and yes I know it is not the most important thing... but it definitely makes things easier and more convenient, which is basically all people are looking for.

The very convenience of money is not having to explain yourself to everyone, everytime in order to get a cup of coffee. People are not charitable I found. Hospitable yes, charitable very rarely. People will only give you stuff if they believe that you are worth it, and are trustworthy.

I guess you could convince that rich, old great uncle to give you food and a place to stay; and if you are good at walking upright in front of leery photographers, you could be a model and have designer couturiers make dresses specially for you. But if you don't have the luxury of a rich family with real estate, or good genes and long legs, money is a good substitute for paying the rent, or actually wearing something nice to the next company party.

Ideally you never need any money. People should happily surrender what you need to you, just because you're such a nice guy. You wanna go somewhere? Taxi brings you there. You want to get into a concert? Bouncer opens the door specially for you. Hungry? Jamie Oliver brings you his best dish, because you're such good mates.

However, if you don't want to be bothered with convincing, building trust or anything in that department, you can always turn to some hard-earned dollars/euros to accomplish the same... you can still get to the airport, you can still listen to Joss Stone, and you can still fill your stomach with a chicken sandwich; it just won't be given to you outright.

Life is like a poker game

if you have a short stack, you have to play like a short stack...
but if you have a big stack, you can afford to wait it out a little

sometimes you get dealt a bad hand, sometimes a great one...
but there's always someone with the best hand

one moment you could be chip leader...
the next moment you are hanging on to your last chips

you can bluff, and represent you have a better hand than you actually have...
or you can just take risk that you'll hit the straight on the river

you'll win some, you'll lose some...
but to win, you have to play the game

My Buddy Network

I take great pride in the expansive network of people I've built up in the past twenty-something years. As far as I am concerned I was (and luckily still am) able to connect with a lot of different, valuable, intelligent people with good stories, extraordinary characters and/or immaculate skills. Every single one of them filled a gap, a need at that point in time (no matter how small), and for that I am grateful.

However these people and the relationships I keep with them must be managed meticulously. This involves, but is not exclusive to:

• remembering birthdays (MY DEEPEST APOLOGIES)
• coming over for babyshowers
• helping people move
• keeping track of your friends' friends names
• going out together for dinner or clubbing
• having lunch/espresso together
  

As you can see this is already a huge list; nevermind that you still need to eat, sleep, do the chores, do the groceries, take out the dog, work and pay the bills, and go on vacation every once in a while.

Unfortunately the cost of not maintaining your relationships is... well... they stall and wither basically.

This is where internet fulfils a demand: without having to call, write, visit anyone anymore you can still stay in touch with the likes of Hyves, Hi5, Orkut, MySpace, LinkedIn, Flickr, YouTube, even this Blogger. Anyone is updated about current affairs, current job, and what you ate last night. If you move, you don't need to send a forwarding address by post (soooooo 1980s): just leave a message on your profile page and people are up to date very quickly...

At least, if they take the effort of actually looking at your profile!

I do think this stuff helps save time in keeping relationships up-to-date. It persists relationships you had at one point in time, and keeps them safe for all-time. It prevents you from losing contact altogether... Otherwise you get these awkward e-mails from people from the past who are hesitant to contact you because it's been so long since you last spoke.

Of course this also allows for situations where you just want someone's name in your list for the sake of it ("yes the PM of the Netherlands is in my Hyves friends list!!"), or you get someone's name in your network whom you don't want there ("oh no the President of the USA is in my Hyves friends list!!"). Wonder if the police do their relationships audit on-line as well... I might have to remove some of these people very fast...

Truthfully, some relationships are worth keeping, even after a long bloody time. There's even a television genre for this: emo-television (cf. "Vermist", "Het Spijt Me").

Relationships should take time as far as I am concerned. These sites cannot account for everything, they should not replace the very limited interactions we already have with one another. And that is something I fear we are doing. We are getting complacent about meeting each other ("I don't need to see this guy now, I read his blog and he's doing fine."). Also we are alienating a lot of people who still don't want anything to do with internet (grandma, great-uncle Pete, Greenpeace Jill and so on). Only Sandi Thom can say (sing) it better than I can.

I myself do have an on-line presence, simply because my phone bill is far too high as it is, I cannot fly off to everywhere on a moment's notice and finally I cannot clone myself to attend two events occuring at the same time. So look me up on Hyves or on LinkedIn. (And of course, you already found the blog...)

Privacy, schmivacy. I'm not getting into politics anyway.

Just give me my Haka dammit!

In Rugby Union no team is better, no team is more intimidating than the New Zealand All Blacks. A great deal of their appeal and intimidation factor has to do with the Haka, the war dance that they do before their test matches. It is truly a riveting sight: fifteen burly, strong men, calling upon the power of the gods to beat their opponents. After seeing that across the pitch, you don't wanna play rugby anymore. You want to run home to mommy for safety.

And today the All Blacks decided not to do the Haka against Wales.

!@#$%^&*(^$@!

Pride plays into this: home teams want to be last to be introduced, but a visiting New Zealand squad demands their anthems to be played even after that of the home team's. Or else no Haka.

You wanna see how quickly you can make a crowd turn on you? Don't do your song and dance. Don't do your gimmick. Don't do what people pay hard earned money to see.

Inner-outer space

Our motivations are strongly diverse, but eventually they all come back to survival and making sense of life and the world around us. We differ most in the way we drive our value system. Some of us are inherently inwardly oriented, others are outward. The former does not derive value from external factors (e.g. other people's opinions, gossip, awards, recognition), up to the point where he does not care what others think of him. The inwardly oriented person checks himself if he is doing well or not, goes about his business, regardless of circumstances. He can be arrogant, aloof, superior, but also nerdy, uncomplicated, stubborn.

The latter derives much, if not all of his self-worth from how others see him. He is acutely aware of other people's opinions and works to great lengths to bring them in his favor. He does so by being nice, looking people in the eye, showing respect, handing out gifts, shoulder pats and so on. He is uncontroversial, but also seems unreal and sometimes even not very authentic.

Depending on your outlook in life, physical traits, interests, skills you have and/or obtained, one approach or the other works better for you. The great challenge is finding out which one. Unfortunately not everyone gets it right, despite clear evidence to the contrary.

Career Achievements

As of today, I have achieved the following in my long and distinguished career as a matchmaker:

• # relationships brought together: 0
• # relationships witnessed coming together: 4
  
• # relationships witnessed broken up: 3
  
• # (partially / fully) responsible for broken-up relationships: 3

I might have to quit while I'm ahead.

Lunar Cycle

It's been a strange week altogether. I've heard people in my immediate vicinity had fallen into puddles of mud... twice. Some of us are sick or nauseous, or even just plain tired. One of us is nearly spooning his eyes out because of the pain it gives him. One of my colleagues couldn't get his residence permit renewed, so he is off. A couple of long-term relationships just hit a dry spell, and the parties involved informed me they just needed a break... right.

Seemingly the moon's current state suggests that we are all in a rather strange and disturbing period. Some of us are getting better, while others are doing worse. It just happens to occur all at the same time.

What does this mean for the coming week? The strangeness should still continue, with job opportunities vanishing, deliveries getting f'ed up, and bowels acting up. It should still be a little while before things turn for the better, so be careful for now.

But I'm fine.

If I ran a political party...

• you could only vote if you took an exam first; and you MUST have a high school diploma
  
• traffic is caused by people who can't drive; they must be cut off at the source; anyone who cannot drive (e.g. 60 km/h on the highway; parking halfway in two spaces) will have his driver's license revoked permanently;
• Anyone from foreign countries wanting to work here, fine. But you're getting paid in air miles.
  
• television stations are disbanded in favour of tv on-demand, and a surprise channel (Nederland 1 will work for this)
  
• organized religions are taxed 80 %; if you want to show your religious colours (put a fish-sign on your car, wear a kabbala or a headdress etc.), you can obtain the right to do so for a 50 % tax hike. Doing so without paying tax? Ask yourself what happens to you if you stop paying normal income taxes...

It's probably best for me never to run for office...

I know what you should vote!

I think you can do away with all these stemwijzers, and vote analyzers (like stemwijzer.nl). They try to help you make up your mind which party to vote for, but in the end it doesn't matter: no matter which party you vote for, there's no single party that can fully bring to bear their entire party program (when they finally get to rule). There's simply too much to choose from and eventually no single party can get the majority. Eventually the government will consist of a combination of different parties, and all party programmes will be watered down significantly.

On the other hand the two-party system as active in the US is not good either, since the Republicans and the Democrats keep each other in a deadlock. Or they have to trade one activity for another, and so governing becomes not much more than playground economics. You remember that? trading one big marble for several smaller marbles? That big one shiny sticker for the other one that you don't already have?

Next week in Holland by all means vote with your gut. Don't listen to party rhetoric. Don't follow the advice of the stemwijzers. Think about who do you want to place in power, who do you trust enough to represent you? You don't always get what you want (I sure didn't the last few years), and contrary to what Mick Jagger says, you don't sometimes get what you need. But you're making a statement.

Discuss.

The Secret (behind) Santa

The month of December brings us another opportunity to offload our crap trinkets on our unsuspecting friends and family. There's Christmas, Sinterklaas (if you live in Holland that is), and if you're really unlucky birthdays. Altogether it is a good thing christmas bonuses get paid out now indeed.

Of course this brings the discussion to gifts, or more accurately the process of buying gifts. The person you're buying the gift for obviously is leading what you pick for him or her. However I've found that the length of the relationship you have, is just as important.

• If you just got to know someone within the last 6 to 12 months or so, you can pretty much get away with something from the souvenir shop, or the bargain bin: budget eau de cologne, wine from the supermarket, a paperback
  
• If you're friends for some time now - say between 1 and 5 years - you probably need to team up with your pals; the gifts you buy are not elaborate, but probably too big or expensive to buy alone: toaster ovens, jewelry, gadgets
  
• If your relationship goes back for five years or more then there's an issue: there's not a lot you can still give that you haven't given before (try buying your wife a 27th anniversary gift, you'll see what I mean); now the gifts become less material and more immaterial: dinners out, vacations, concert tickets, spa treatments

N.B. The total dollar amount of the gift is not in any way an indicator of the length of the relationship (although if you're buying a $ 100 necklace on a first date, you are either Donald Trump, or you completely missed the point). And milestones (25th and 50th anniversaries, lustra) obviously call for something special, no matter how long your relationship.

Don't ask, don't tell

Apparently I am very good at keeping secrets... or actually I am very good at not telling secrets. I am extremely bad at hiding I keep a secret.

In all actuality I do want to tell everything I know, but there's a couple of things stopping me:

• is it appropriate to just spill the beans?
• trust is big virtue for me, and I associate keeping something inside with being more trustworthy than just gossiping around
• sometimes whatever you think is a big secret, is actually not; I feel you can lose face if your big news is in fact not so big

So basically if you ask the right questions, you can get loads and loads of information from me

The Ultimate Top Gear Match-up

After seeing this guy racing all over Europe, amongst other things riding his motorcycle from Rotterdam to Amsterdam, across the A20 and A12 to Utrecht and then north to the nation's capital on the A2, in just over 20 minutes, I came up with the ultimate Top Gear challenge. The one that will shatter all viewing records, and be the legendary story for years to come.

I wanna see Ghost Rider take on The Stig in a winner take all fastest time lap around the Nurburgring. (of course Stiggie should have a car which is comparable in power-to-weight ratio to the Ghost Rider's cycle).

Winner gets to replace Richard Hammond while he is recuperating from his crash.

I really don't wanna help you but I don't

Here's a strange way of helping out: offer to help with something, but only if the other has already done so.

Also add that it when you offer to help, make sure that the other ones know you've got something alternative planned, that is very, very hard to get out of.

Survivor Series: Techies vs. Consultants

For years techies and consultants battle for total supremacy in the company. Consultants can act all high and mighty, Techies turn off their access to the internet. Techies treat the customer like shit, consultants get treated to dinner by the client.

There's a fundamental difference between the two groups. In the Dilbertian world techies are fuzzy people, practical, lazy, curious and highly logically oriented. According to them, the world has one solution (the right one), and they are insulted by anyone who doesn't see the same solution.

Consultants are political animals, theoretic, formal and by-the-book. As long as everything is put to paper there's no problem. If someone tries to prove them wrong, consultants can point to their precious documentation.

In the end both groups can rile up the other very easily. And that's where I should come in. I am the guy to alleviate the pressure between the groups and reconcile any differences. Through me each can elaborate their ideas better to the other. I can translate, draw examples that speak to each group. I can work in both groups effectively and lead by example.

And that's where the money is.

Three Steps to make a Good Music Compilation

• Have a theme; it can be a music genre, a specific subset of artists. However make sure you are original in your theme. There are just too many love song compilations in the world today. Get inspired by a movie that just came out, a football game that just played out.
• Make sure the tempo of the compilation varies. All slow songs are boring, but everything uptempo tires you out quicker than you can say huh. If all songs are rock loud, your ears start ringing after just three tracks... however make sure the songs don't switch gears from track to track. Make it flow naturally.
• Anchor the compilation with the strongest tracks at the start, at the end and in the middle. (I usually pick my strongest track as the eighth.) When you put tracks at the start, the track needs to start strong. The track you put at the end must end well, either with feeling or with a climactic finish, which all depends on your intentions.
  

Special offer, just for you

The country's biggest grocer currently sells an analogy for life itself! It's true! It's amazing! It's a... salad?

Just like life the salad has the potential of tasting great. In fact there's all kinds of hidden treasures that - when found - make the whole taste wonderful: cheese, dressing, croutons, pepper and so on. Unfortunately, you need to look for the extras, because they are indeed hidden beneath a thick layer of lettuce. Just like life, you need to dig these out yourself.

Also you have to remember to find these extra bags, and find all of these in time. If you don't, either you end up eating plastic, or you end up with a big mess (dressing all over the kitchen table).

And all for just EUR 5.99

World Series... missed it

Ehm... The St. Louis Cardinals win the World Series... well that's okay. Now usually I would do this schtick, in which I predict the winner on the basis of the heart, the head and the gut. But unfortunately the playoffs were so uneventful, I completely missed the part.

Now I think I would have bet money on the Detroit Tigers to win, solely because they were the best team in the majors for a big part of the season and had the better story (from perennial losers to champions in the space of a season). The Cardinals had the star power (well... Albert Pujols, and he didn't turn out that good for the Series) and were the cream of the NL crop for the last three, four seasons so they did have a good argument as well....

But with the Series already behind us, let's just call this one a no-show, and move on.

Warning! Bad Poetry Ahead

I can rationalize this to the bone
To myself I keep saying
That the opportunities I missed
Weren't mine for the taking

But if I were truly honest
I realize that all I feel
Is a great sadness and
A desperation that is very real

Glances and short remarks
Meetings all too brief
So sad to see you go
But love to see you leave

Swedish humour

I read Ikea bases its products' names on certain themes. For example cupboards are named after boys' names, while lamps are based on musical instruments.

Of course it wouldn't be Ikea if they didn't put an Swedish slant on it. Sometimes this has funny results:

• JERKER
• RUCKEN
• DIKTAD
• KULL

Goodbye And Again

Lately it seems that job hopping is back in vogue. Several colleagues, people I see at work, move on. Sometimes it's for the better, sometimes it's forced, but it's always a moment of reflection.

Thing is, the departures of people I see and speak to on a somewhat regular basis obviously draw my attention, but I'm also forced to acknowledge the departures of people that I don't even know. Money is collected for the leaving parties, drinks are passed around, stories are told to anyone within a ten mile radius. Why, I can't even fathom. Even worse, I can't imagine why suddenly I should start caring.

Of course, if you're anything like a nice person, you go along. Also opportunities for drinking are always appreciated.

Now the opposite end of the spectrum is trying to deny the existence of people leaving completely. Co-workers don't leave, they disappear. At best you find out months later that people that you need advise from, or would like to know where they hang out, aren't where you expect them to be anymore.

The shitty thing is that you know people are gone, or going away. Not acknowledging that doesn't make those facts more untrue. And if you're anyway inclined to think in terms of conspiracies (like me) you lose trust in your working environment.

I hope things eventually even out, regardless of corporate culture. Forcing people to acknowledge someone's departure, or hiding it from plain sight; either way it's insulting.

Life On The Road

The more you travel by car, the more you're gonna see the world, life and everything in parallels to driving. For example:

• in heavy traffic you're going to guess which lane is moving the fastest; and you will nearly always be in the wrong lane
  
• some drivers will help you and let you pass; others will block you or run you off the road
• depending on your inclination you can keep to your speed limits or you can choose to go past it... way past; likewise you can choose to stick and abide to the law or ignore it
• you wanna take risks? by all means... those are the guys who don't really pay attention to the road and other drivers, race 150 km/h, pass left and right, take bends at insane speeds... either way you get a lot of attention.
• some drivers look very attractive, others should fit their cars with blinds; same in life...
• some cars look amazing, and much like life some careers or achievements look amazing...
• sometimes you're stuck behind a truck, being slowed down, blocking your sight...
• and eventually you can get to drive on the open road, free to do whatever you want, wherever you want to go...

Yo momma is so unlucky

...bad luck changes from Friday the 13th to the next day just for for her...

I mean, I've been real careful not to do anything significant on Friday the 13th, although I was fully expecting to get a serious speeding ticket, getting fired, or getting robbed this day. However, instead I:

• got taken down by a speed camera at 105 in a 100 zone
  
• missed package deliveries I was waiting for

on the very next day.

Top of the Pops

I can't help it, but I keep laughing at that North Korean newscaster woman who proudly announced the successful nuclear test her nation's scientists were able to complete.

Her tone, her demeanor was so dripping of the worst kind of propaganda, it's ridiculous. Of course, seeing it over here, I can hardly understand how anyone could actually fall for that silly tone. If they would do it over here, most Dutch people would just switch channels, and chalk it up to the comedy factory or something.

Then again, I ain't North Korean, so I wouldn't know if someone over there could appreciate irony, sarcasm and the like.

The Grand Poobah from PyongYang doesn't really care much for working together with the rest of the world, so all these eternal damnations, calls for embargos aren't effective.
It doesn't hurt. Kim couldn't care less.

And in the meanwhile all the attention is drawn away from Iran. It's a lot like the Billboard Top 100, but instead of the latest hypes in music, it's the latest hypes in people to piss off. Iran was on top of the charts a month ago, but now North Korea are on top of the mountain.

The thing is - even in international diplomacy and global politics - any publicity is better than no publicity.

In two months I guess Venezuela will be making another jump in the charts. You can certainly count on one dictator trying to up-end another, just for the fun of it. After all: Who pisses off Kofi and George and Tony and Vladimir the most?

Sheer Strength

Frustratingly lifting stuff into my home I realize one single truth: I'm stronger than most people would give me credit for, but I'm weaker than I often need.

Now this is difficult, because on the one hand you'd be surprised by the amount of work I can pick up, the stuff I can carry, the responsibilities I can handle. It's just that because others don't think I can I have to take control of it myself.

On the other hand when I actually have to lift some stuff to the first floor, lead a group of people, fight a strong opponent, then I have to come to the conclusion that I lack just that power to accomplish that task. Which is a big disappointment if people expect me to complete one actually.

The only thing I can do is just continue my training. Maybe train more the stuff that's not that strong yet... if I can find it.

I'm getting old

You've got these ringtones you can order, which supposedly "your parents and your teachers can't hear" because the frequency is set so high. So let's give it a try...

I can't hear a thing.

Fundamental differences

Techies and business consultants don't get along.

There. I've said it.

When it comes down to it, consultants are supposed to know a lot about a lot of different aspects in the workplace. In IT projects it means consultants should know about the client expectations, profit margins, work estimations, deadlines, requirements, business processes... and the IT systems. That's a whole lot to do. They've got a lot of responsibility, because a lot of people attribute it to them.

In IT projects techies are usually subject matter experts, the workhorses who operate the buttons, make the code. Occasionally they're even the artists, working magic, where magic has no business of being there. But their scope is limited. Whether they want to or not, they are hardly responsible for anything other than the system.

Usually consultants have too much on their plates to be experts at anything, so models, tools and methodologies have been created to streamline their activities across all areas. And rightly so. However IT is a business where there is no standardized way of working. In fact there may never be, because IT moves so fast. Techies have a hard time dealing with it themselves, so they need to train, read up, go to conferences and workshops.

What chance do consultants have then? They're responsible for something that they essentially have little to no control over. The only way to gain a modicum of control is to utilize outdated methodologies, or models which have no real practical application in IT. And that insults the tech experts.

The tragic thing is that consultants and techies know that a better way to work exists, but everybody is too driven by other factors to actually do something about it, be it deadlines, peer pressure, contract disputes and so on.

And so the conflict continues.

A very special day

When you were a small child the most important dates on your calendar were

• your own birthday (you would get presents, grandma and grandpa would visit, you could invite all your best friends to come over, etc.)
  
• christmas (same reasons, except everyone would come over without you needing to bother with invitations)
• new years (any day where can stay up late, is cool)
  

Now you're older every date seems like an important day. If you're married, you better remember your spouse's birthday and your wedding day. You've got a day for the animals, the fathers, the mothers, gay pride, pink ribbon day, aids awareness, Independence Day, Superbowl Sunday, Liberation Day, 9-11, 7-7, march1, etc.

And you're in even more trouble if your favorite date happens to be for example your birthday, and then something like an assassination on a politician occurs on the same day.

You here's a question: how bad does some event have to be, before it overshadows an otherwise good day?

Worse yet, how climactic does it have to get before we have to invent a completely new calendar?

To compare or not to compare that's the question

Making comparisons is something that's necessary for people to make decisions. Whether it's about choosing a dish when eating out, choosing a car to buy or a stereo, some place to go to on the weekends, people would compare various alternatives to eventually decide on a course of action.

Lately I've been hearing the argument to not make comparisons anymore. Any activity should be judged based on its own merits.

Now here's the question I pose to you... how can I discern the benefits of an option, if I don't know otherwise?

The Confessional

I'll admit another bad habit of mine.

About three out of five times I will do less than what is actually needed. This objective may relate to work, to love, to friendships, to eat... anything in life actually. The problem is, the other two times I will consistently do far more than is necessary, often even to my own detriment.

So apparently I can't match effort to objectives, I am inefficient and ineffective.

Could be worse.

General admission

Now pay attention, because this doesn't tend to happen a lot... but I'll admit something bad about myself today.

My biggest character failing is that I expect everyone whom I deal with to play according to the (i.e. my) rules. And for whatever reason, be it insight, perspective, opinion, belief, intelligence etc., that is not realistic to expect. Most of my time is spent on convincing people to see my way.

Actually I don't want to spend that time at all, and just assume people to go along with me as-is. The nastiest thing is that I act/am insulted when people act irrationally... according to my logic. Realistically, I can't ever expect anyone to be just as rational as me from the get-go.

So despite this, why do I keep holding these expectations? Why is it so important that people see things my way, without me having to convince them? How can I be so sure of myself that my way is the best way, and my way should be self-evident for everyone?

The English language has words for this:

• arrogant
• stubborn
• short-sighted
• fundamentalist
  

Everything I know I learned from the Lion King

Today we got two special letters in the mail. One announced the birth of my old school mate's daughter. It's his third baby girl, and he's not planning for more I think. You need only imagine what happens when the girls are (about to reach the proper age for) dating.

Congratulations BTW.

Another letter announced the passing of a great-uncle of my parents. Already advanced in age, and a widower, the announcement was still a shocking development. The guy was by all accounts still quite sharp. For sure a damn pity.

My condoleances.

The Lion King's theme - if I remember correctly - was The Circle Of Life. People live, people die, and people live again. No better was this theme symbolized than in today's mail.

I can't put it any better than this

http://dumblittleman.blogspot.com/2006/09/why-top-employees-quit.html

http://dumblittleman.blogspot.com/2006/08/50-ways-manager-can-get-employees-to.html

Primary and secondary pay

When you're a paid employee, the biggest part of your wages consists of money, moolah, dineros. And yet you only notice the absence if it. People always complain about not getting paid enough, having to spend so much on living and so on.

A relatively small part of your wages consists of secondary benefits, like a pension plan, a lease car, an expense account, fancy dinners, concerts, vacation days. It is the presence of these benefits that you would notice. (Coincidentally, they're a great source for tall stories)

This means that you end up working mostly for something that you only notice when it's not there anymore, instead of for something beneficial or rewarding. That's kind of strange isn't it?

No purpose

Another scary thing: there's this relatively straight-minded, older man. He went to proper schools, received higher education, worked for decades at the highest level possible.

He has to give a speech to millions of viewers, in which he will make controversial statements to say the very least. And indeed more than half the world is furious with him.

I'm pretty sure this guy expected the negative outbursts directed towards him. If he didn't, he's either very naive or painfully stubborn. So that means he had an agenda with his statements, and for the life of me, I can't figure out what that agenda could be. Is he trying to show macho behaviour? Is he trying to defend his cause? Draw a line in the sand? Mirror the opposition?

All I can say is, I fail to see the purpose of his statements. All I see is Vince McMahon challenging Shawn Michaels at Wrestlemania 22, and then getting his ass kicked from a 15 foot ladder.

All messes are children of assumptions

Whatever you read or hear, you will always understand it to your best advantage. And that is dangerous, because your best advantage may not be what is actually meant. This can have disastrous results.

• bills don't get paid
• goals get scored on you
• trash doesn't get picked up

More excuses

In last post, I stated that we need valid, acceptable excuses to initiate any kind of relationship among ourselves. Following this, I pose now that the toughest excuses one makes are those made to oneself.

Everything you see, feel, hear around you triggers the question, why? Or maybe how? People by nature are curious and always need to know the answer to these questions. That's why we've got things like religion, laws and regulations, expert opinions, televised talk shows and so on.

Thing is, it is delusional to say that the answer to these questions is the unequivocal truth. It is more like an excuse, an acceptable explanation that placates your wonder and amazement. It is a deal you make with yourself to satisfy your mood.

How acceptable such an excuse is, is really a matter of circumstance. Whether or not you make a career change, totally depends on how you justify it for yourself. You can essentially explain it both ways. Whether or not you believe in the WTC conspiracies, depends on which way you are inclined to see the situation. If you make enough excuses, you can basically justify everything there is to know.

And herein lies our biggest battle. In our search for the answers, we strive to reach the truth totally and utterly. The only way we know how to reach the answers is to agree on theories, concepts, ideas, rumours, opinions, moods, fitness, or laws. Each excuse draws us further from the truth. The very means of getting us forward, pulls us backwards instead.

Necessary Excuse

Excuses drive relationships more than you can imagine. For nearly all instances in life, you're going to need an excuse just to get together. It might be a birthday, a wedding, a funeral, an anniversary. You now need an excuse just to talk to someone, be it in a store (you want to buy goods), in a bar (you want to pick someone up), or in sports (you want to win).

It can't just be any excuse either. For one you need to get away with it. Car salesmen generally don't sell cars to shabbily dressed people, no matter how much money they prove to have on their bank accounts. The excuse also has to be socially acceptable and match the desired outcome of the relationship. You can tell your boss you need a vacation, just before the holiday season. You cannot tell him you need time off, just to play a video game at home or do grocery shopping.

In all this the excuse does not necessarily have to be true. It just has to be acceptable enough to get things running along. (Although I must say, for most people the truth is a lot easier to keep up with than a lie)

Not there yet

Basically, it's like this: I can get in, I can get out, there's a chair, a table and if you don't mind sleeping on concrete you can sleep there as well...

But if it's all the same to you, I'll wait 'till I furnish the place proper.

Passion of the Xrist

Interviews with successful people in popular and professional media tend to look alike. Everyone wants to know how they got to be so successful, rich, powerful and whatnot. Hopefully the answers will inspire more people to do the same.

Most of these people describe their key motivation as being passionate about their jobs. They don't mind putting in the time, the extra energy and effort. They push through when they're faced with adversity. All in the name of passion.

Now for me this just isn't useful. I agree that you need dedication to reach success, and having a passion for something/someone is a very strong form of dedication. I think you do need this, because otherwise everyone would be able to reach their goals simply by putting in the time. That would be too easy.

However a passion is something that you can't tell anyone to have. You either have it or you don't. Steve Irwin has so much of it, he got killed for it. I'm pretty sure everyone has a passion for something, and some of us are even able to make a living out of it, but there are plenty of people who don't have strong feelings about their livelihood. They just get their wages, and move on to their hobbies. Or worse: they may have so many extra-curricular activities (second job, in debt, children, at war, in fear, sick etc.) on their minds, they don't get to live out their passions at all.

Seriously, telling everyone you've got a passion for your job and that being the main reason for your success, is like a kick in the nuts. It's like waving and eating a fresh turkey sandwich in front of a hungry homeless person.

Look nice and still tell people to sod off

• take someone's telephone number and suggest calling them back later
• bring them something relatively meaningless (cup of coffee usually suffices) and then cut the meeting short
  
• get called away (my phone has an alarm/reminder function which I can set to any time I like; stopwatch also works)
• any of the following phrases work: "I'll look into it"; "I need some time to discuss this with the team"; "the person responsible is not in at the moment, do you want to leave a message?"

I think I prefer this subtle route - which makes people feel empowered, while still getting shafted - rather than the blunt route, which is more honest and truthful, but also makes people angry directly.

Addendum

As an addendum to last night's last point (...the inherently lazy point...): people who are supposed to part with their stuff (government, your boss, your rich great-great-uncle) expect you to be happy with whatever they give. If you want more, you should damn well work harder for it and show them... of course this doesn't account for you having a handicap, having a kid, having a life...

New Stuff Learned Today

• You can actually make yourself absolutely vital in whatever you do. You can make yourself this way without you knowing it, or intending it. You can be absolutely vital and you may not want to: Spiderman had this problem. Or in my case I (believe I) am vital in an area of expertise I don't want to be in.
• I always thought the next step was applying what I've learned on a higher level. And it's not. It's recognizing and estimating what others have learned and reflecting it back on them.
• Even if you are a money grabbing nutcase, you can still make very bad financial decisions.
• People are not just inherently lazy, they also expect others (i.e. the people who give them stuff) to be not. People afford a certain amount of time and energy to achieve some level of comfort. Consequently they expect everyone else to meet them at the other end. And people get angry if they (perceive) you don't, no matter if it's due to lack of willingness, lack of ability, lack of structure, financial limitations or something else.

Pop Quiz, Hotshot

During job interviews, you could get some funny questions that seemingly don't make a lot of sense; these have nothing to do with the job at hand, and are only there to gauge your reaction.

If I were taking an interview like this, I could use this question:

We're walking a lap round a three-story appartment building, and it's raining. The top floor is dry. The ground floor is dry. The first floor is flooded.

How is that possible?

Moment's gone

Some news you're supposed to be happy with, and supposed to enjoy when it reaches you. Of course you should hear this news at the opportune time, not when your cat just died, or you just got a speeding ticket in the mail.

At that point good news - even the best possible news - becomes just news. The moment passes, never to return.

It is so important to cherish the time when something good happens. It should be experienced to the fullest. These moments are so rare, and rely on the convergence of so many factors, it's ridiculous.

Self Fulfilling Prophecies

Here's a thing I've come to realize recently: don't underestimate the power of self fulfilling prophecies. You know the kind. You try to steer away from a bad situation, and end up sleeping with your mom.

The crazy thing is, once it gets that status of self fulfillment, there's no steering possible anymore. Your entire mindset points toward one inevitable outcome, and all your (in)actions will - whether you want it or not - eventually lead in that same direction.

Destiny? I think not. Fate? Heck no. God's Will? Give me a break. Self Fulfilling Prophecies are proof that man is the complete and only cause of its own downfall.

Market value

08:00; resume is activated on-line on job site.

14:00; ten new invitations in mailbox.

wow.

would it work as well on dating sites?

Fastest Ways to Rile Up a Guy

• Stand very close behind him
• Keep asking him the same questions
• Follow him around
• Wave a sledgehammer near his new car
• Repeat yourself
• Tell everyone but him something secret
  

T-Section Ahead, 2 miles

Ever have this feeling, this idea that you have to make a big choice very soon? Either through rational or emotional means changes are forthcoming that you yourself have to trigger. And that's scary. And exciting.

All the cards are in your hand, and the only thing you're waiting for, is when the other shoe drops. You have no idea how things will exactly play out, but you can have expectations, perhaps even hope, if you are so inclined.

And what if not just the other shoe drops, but an entire avalanche comes rolling down on you? Have you played your cards well enough to move out of the way?

Or worse, nothing happens. In that case, did you miss the exit a couple of miles back?

The Creeping Deadline

What is it?: an IT project is sold and a delivery date is set. Now at some point during the project, people (the management, the client, the shareholder) realize that they might be better off if the deadline moves forward a couple of days or weeks, so it better aligns to other departments (finance, marketing, HR)...
Pros: better alignment, thus adhering to client's new constraints
Cons: greatly increased stress on project team (unless of course, the project can defer some of the deliverables to after the deadline)

The thing is, after this entire project ends and is handed-over, the message to the outside world is going to be that the project was completed on time and under budget. The subtext is of course, original time and budget.

And if you get deeper into this discussion, you end having to match every single deliverable to every single sub-deadline defined, and you have a huge mess. People generally just don't bother (unless they're auditing).

Now having a house built is cool. There's this acquisition contract that says the buyer pays for the material and labor costs, for an expected number of days needed to complete the construction. If the contractor goes over the alotted number of days, any additional costs are on his account. But, there's no deadline.

Mind you, this can only be done for mature projects.

Who'd have thunk it?

Back in high school we had this nice older math teacher running the class for a year. He was fast approaching his retirement so we kind of made things easy for him (unlike for some other teachers we had during the time). He had a long white beard, and was short and stocky. If you put a red pointy hat on his head, he looks just like a garden gnome.

Anyways this guy at some point during the year confided in us that he was in fact living with his boyfriend for some time now. At the time that announcement was a big thing. You wouldn't expect that from an nice old man.

Now in every high school class the same roles are played: there's the popular divas in one corner of the room, the nerdy brains in another. And then there's the alpha male, the guy who always shouts the loudest, talks to the most chicks, and always causes trouble. This guy was the typical alpha: was never in class, because he always had some chore to do as punishment for something else he had done. As a result he was not around when our math teacher told us about his sexual preference.

Near the end of the year our alpha started treating us to I guess cake. He lost a bet or something. During math class he passed cake around, and eventually there was so much left over, that he gave everything to the math teacher, adding that he and his wife could enjoy it...

At that point the class fell silent, and all eyes primed on the dude. He was completely stunned and surprised that everyone was staring at him. He didn't know he made a faux pas. We didn't know what would happen next. It wasn't until later he was told the explanation. And seriously, he couldn't sink any lower into the ground at that point.

We've now moved on a decade and apparently our alpha male is dating a male television personality and singer. I can't say what I'm more surprised about: about the idea that he's into guys now, or about the notion that he is dating someone relatively famous.

A fool is made in haste

The most truthful thing I've read today was from an SI.com article, and is about John Madden, now most commonly known as a sportscaster and colourman in NFL games. He doesn't fly planes anymore due to his claustrophobia, and travels around in buses, trains and the like. It changed his outlook on life:

"If the claustrophobia thing didn't happen, I wouldn't know what this country is or what these people are like, (...) I would have been like everyone else: Run, run, run; airport, airport, airport; hotel, hotel, hotel; city, city, city. I wouldn't have found time to see things like I see them now. I got so I knew nothing other than football and the Raiders. You focus in so much, and you miss life."

Aww... shucks

Who Cares? Really this would be a nice gift for a newlywed couple.

Unknow, v.

Verb:
to unknow (third-person singular simple present unknows, present participle unknowing, simple past unknew, past participle unknown)

1. To deny knowledge and familiarity of a previously introduced concept: friendship, failures, movie quotes.
2. To forget, with intention