Sunday, February 25, 2007

Guilty Pleasures

Considering it is a movie that's already been out for quite a while in other parts of the globe, and is not one of very high quality either, I may have been a little bit too anxious to see DOA: Dead Or Alive. But I did, and I'm actually glad I did.

Again this is one of those movies, where some Hollywood mogul apparently took notice of the revenue numbers video games generate nowadays, and decides it is a good idea to perhaps make a feature length motion picture out of a popular game. Usually this turns out crap (Super Mario Bros, Double Dragon, Street Fighter), or disappointing (Doom, Mortal Kombat, Wing Commander). Rarely does it turn out even remotely satisfying, let alone good. I'm afraid that purely on the criterion of quality, Dead or Alive is a movie in the brownish category.

But why am I not vilifying this movie then? Well... the video game Dead Or Alive is a fighting game pitting two characters against each other in a tournament. The big gimmick in this game however is that the characters are usually HOT women, even for a video game, with features that would fit nicely in a Playboy, FHM or Maxim pictorial.

Now the great idea here was to make this game into a movie. Forget that they tried to copy the game's plot into the movie, completely exposing the lameness of the story; Forget that they made Kevin Nash into a Hulk Hogan-lookalike (oooh the irony); Forget that they opened up every cliche in the book (nerd secretly in love with hot young broad with heart of gold; selfish thief turns noble (well... actually he doesn't); freaky businessman turns into freaky evil overlord); just enjoy the fine shapely bodies of Holly Valance, Sarah Carter, Jamie Pressly, Devon Aoki and Natassia Malthe (no, I don't know them either, but who cares?); enjoy them throwing punches and roundhouse kicks, in tasteful slow motion and Dolby Surround...

Okay, okay... in all seriousness... bad movie, but NICE visuals. Get the DVD and burn out the pause button.

N.B. Dare I mention? NOT a good date movie.

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