Monday, January 30, 2006

Soccer sucks... except when we win

Soccer used to be so riveting. In the early nineties I kept track of all the leagues and all the competitions all over the world. (Yes, all of them) I also followed a certain team from Amsterdam and a certain team from Manchester religiously. I was so bummed out if they lost, and so happy if they won. Today I couldn't care less if they lost 4-1.

The sport doesn't really interest me anymore. For one, there's too much of it on television and the newspapers. Games used to be special. For example, there were only six Champions League games per season, if you were lucky. Now there's some kind of game on every single day. And certainly not all of them good.
Another point is that I've already experienced the best and the worst games and plot lines for my favorite teams. Young, talented team defeating the tough, exotic and dominant side? Been there. Last minute victory snatched from the jaws of defeat? Done that. Losing to a clearly worse side? Old hat by now. After a while you've seen all the ways a football game can run, and nothing really surprises you.

Fortunately there's one thing I haven't experienced yet in soccer, and that's a world championship. Here's hoping Holland wins it all this summer! For that I will gladly pick up my football-watching glasses again.

Saturday, January 28, 2006

The Incredible Green-eyed Monster

Everything we do, want, strive for is pretty much based on and driven by emotions. In an ideal society, love would be our primary emotion; but in a more hostile society, we are more driven by more negative emotions: fear, hate, and jealousy.

Now jealousy is a fascinating emotion. Nations have fallen, rulers have been brought to their knees and lives have been wiped out because of the big green-eyed monster. On a much smaller scale jealousy has taken hold as well, on somebody's job, his wife, her husband, her paycheck, his car, their vacation, his wristwatch, her dress, his charisma, her body, their lives...

Jealousy is an emotion based on scarcity; scarcity of time, of money, resources, people and/or energy. Jealousy is also driven by a perceived injustice, which mostly if not always relates to oneself.

When I was young I was told not to be jealous of others. That in my opinion is a mistake. As far as I can see the greatest achievements in our days (as well as the darkest) happened because we were jealous at some point and decided to something about it. That's just the thing. Jealousy can be used for good things.

Bad things are done because jealousy is used destructively, as an excuse to be violent, giving in to something primal. Green eyes tend to make you blind for any other way out than 'HULK SMASH! HULK CRUSH!'

So, I'll make this promise. I will be jealous like a mofo for anyone who does better than I do. But I will find a way out that is constructive, and I will make you jealous of me!

Thursday, January 26, 2006

Consultants Q&A

Consultants like us have a special way of answering questions. It's not really taught or anything, but it seems to be innate to everyone who's been in the business for a while. It is also kinda hard to explain without powerpoint presentations and inch-thick reports, but I can provide some examples of how it works:

Q: Have you eaten those cookies?

A: Well, yesterday I went out to dinner at this quaint little place at the old harbour, where the old trade mansion used to be, and I had such a great meal, five courses mind you, that I couldn't possibly eat a bite more, even today.

and here's another one:

Q: Can you tell me how I look in this dress? (obviously this comes from a woman asking her boyfriend consultant)

A: The fabric is first-rate, designed in Milan by Sergio Commelletti, and expertly tailored to the wearer with hours of handcraft.

The common characteristics are that:
  • although you don't get a straight answer, technically there's no lying involved
  • if you completely dissect every little aspect of the answer you will find the question answered; it just takes a long time and the person who asks the question usually just gives up
  • the consultant always displays something of his expertise/background/network in the answer in some subtle, yet completely over-the-top way; this knowledge almost never relates to the question asked
  • there's a lot of CYA (cover-your-ass) tactics involved, so the answer is mired in grey areas, neutral assessments, pros and cons, yin and yang, win-win, sources and bibliography etc.
So, in other words: good luck trying to get a simple yes or no out of me.

Tuesday, January 24, 2006

SO WHAT?

Things to say SO WHAT? to:
  1. The temperature dropped to about 7 degrees celsius below zero, and we're trying to find out if the ice is thick enough for skating
  2. George Clooney is supposed to come over for the Film Festival, but then again, he may not
  3. Dutch cabinet minister Pechtold spoke of devious circumstances in the cabinet, and now all of his peers feel hurt and humiliated

Sunday, January 22, 2006

Out with the old, in with the new

Slowly but surely my car is breaking down. It started a couple of months ago with the v-belt singing, then the torque seemed to flail in second gear. Now in the space of two weeks I've found that my head light is cracked, my oil measurement stick is broken and my wiper is ripped. Thing is, I don't care.

I've found that the longer I drive the car, the less careful I am with it. You should've seen me way back then, I would be hesitant to take it out near grass or puddles. Now I don't even wash it anymore. How similar this is to other things as well, including mobile devices, glasses, your job, friends and family, your relationship, your life.

That's not really how we should go about things right?

Friday, January 20, 2006

An argument for prejudice

Back in the day I was a strong opponent of discrimination. I was all for equal rights for boys and girls, blacks, reds, yellows and whites, muslims, christians and hindus. I took everyone in stride and treated everyone equal. I don't do that anymore, because:
  1. for some reason people like you much more if you respect their individuality and culture
  2. it's boring to treat everyone the exact same way (can you imagine if everyone looked, spoke, and acted the same way all the time?)
  3. you cannot have favorites if you treat everyone the same
  4. it is a bloody tiring and time-consuming way of getting around: everyone needs to be properly addressed so you take more time to do so; and everybody has to have an equal amount of respect and so on.
This last point is actually the most important bit. People are inherently finite, both in time and knowledge, so there's no chance of actually getting everyone equal footing. Prejudice is apparently our way of overcoming our physical boundaries. We assume and make judgements based on what we feel, see and hear. Sometimes we go deeper into issues, but only if it concerns something we find valuable enough to spend more time on. Otherwise we just have to take what we're given.

I am a firm believer of making sure the limited time you're given by your audience should be spent wisely and on positive impressions. However I also realize that everyone and everything is more than just what's on the surface. I may have not the time or energy to dig deep all the time, but I will respect the idea that there's something deeper, more valuable in everyone.

Welcome to the age of the prejudiced. Join me, the water's warm.

Wednesday, January 18, 2006

A very hard thing to do

I must admit I've lost a lot of creativity with regards to gifts as the years go on, but even so... The longer you know someone, the harder it is to get them something for their birthdays, graduation, marriage, anniversary etcetera. Usually they've got everything already, or their wishes are in the range of Ferrari, house on the Bermudas, or Patek Phillipes.

So that means I spend a lot of time idling along shopping centers to find a remotely fitting gift for the occasion. I must say, that track's getting old.

So for all my friends/family, kindly leave a note what you want for the next occasion, and we'll see what we can do. You ask Santa/Sinterklaas what you want to, right?

Monday, January 16, 2006

Be There, Or Don't Be There

"If you don't get to the ball in time, you didn't start running on time."

Johan Cruijff, our self-taught Dutch soccer professor, may have had some cryptic but thoughtful expressions, but it all comes back to one thing: If you need to be somewhere, you need to be there. And if you don't want to be somewhere bad, don't be there!

In professional sports the great players seperate themselves from the average by making good decisions about where they are, when to start running, where they need to be and when. And even great individual players can make their game so incredibly hard on themselves by not being where they need to be, or being somewhere they shouldn't be.

This concept extends beyond sports as well: Successful people get to places where they do most good for themselves, and stay away from where they do harm or are weak. If you really want to be safe in traffic, make sure you don't put yourself in difficult situations, such as tailgating. If you're in project management, you can make things easier on yourself and the other project members, by how well the project fits the project environment and doing the things you should do. All the while you'd be avoiding the things you shouldn't do.

And the finest of finest know where to be, so that they reach every opportunity in due time, without having to stretch themselves to/over the limit all the time. Indeed the best people make their craft look so easy and unspectacular.

Saturday, January 14, 2006

Can I stop being superstitious now?

I am one of those people who:
  • have lucky boxers
  • always pick a favorite number
  • never walk under ladders
  • turn around in case black cats cross their path
  • and tend to be more cautious on Friday the 13th
Of course, there's a rational side to me that seems to overrule most of the weirdest behaviours. And yet it's definitely not a cut and closed issue. I do feel better if I pay attention and avoid all those things mentioned above. After all, if you feel you've had bad luck, you're gonna act accordingly. And that will get you into trouble very quickly.

Thursday, January 12, 2006

Good and Lame Magic Tricks

What are lame magic tricks?
  • card guessing (not too impressive)
  • levitation (old hat)
  • split body (creepy and yet childish)

What are good magic tricks?

Pulling yourself up a circus tent with just a pair of ribbons... while holding two suitcases in your hands and carrying a small girl on your back, and singing an aria from the top of your lungs.

(or something like that, this show is so overwhelming, I may have confused some tricks a little...)

Sunday, January 08, 2006

Price of Fame

The Lakeside Darts tournament - the Wimbledon of Darts - started this past weekend, and to promote the event the Algemeen Dagblad interviews the Dutch number one darts player Raymond van Barneveld.

Mostly it's about him being frustrated when people recognize him on the street and bothering him when he's doing something else. And that is understandable, Van Barneveld doesn't even get the chance to explain himself, or finish what he was doing, and gets labelled as arrogant, aloof.

Ah, there's an expression, the price of freedom is eternal vigilance; I submit that it could also be: the price of fame is eternal vigilance. While Barney's reaction to all this is perfectly understandable and even human, it may very well be that it's no more than logical that he is perceived as arrogant. I mean, people suddenly faced with famous personalities, are just wired like that. They panic, don't know how to react, and attack all at the same time.

Here's a suggestion when meeting slightly more famous people than yourselves. Picture as if its the most beautiful/handsome person you've met (funnily enough, that often happens to be the case anyway). Naturally you want to show off yourself as attractive as well, and the most attractive you can be is when you're cool. That way you keep your respect and admiration; they get to keep their dignity, and the impression they deal with people of equal fervour (even if they are not).

Now even Barney can move around town wondering where all his fans went.

Friday, January 06, 2006

The Colour of Money

I don't really have a firm grasp on the concept of money. I mean, I've had the economic studies classes, I'm aware of theories about markets, industries, supply-and-demand, inflation and all that, and I think I've got a vague inkling of the stock exchange. Still despite all that, I'm unsure how it all works. I'm pretty sure it shouldn't actually.

Money makes the world go round, people often say, and for a large part of my day that is very true. No cash, means no food, no parking, no electricity, no plumbing, no gas, no petrol and so forth. Even if I would stay an entire day at home, I would still spend some 30 euros, just for staying awake.

The major question I've got is the value of money, or more accurately: the reward for something where effort is put in. I'm fully aware that contacting someone with my mobile phone costs money, lest I have to actually travel all the way to that person to say that I thoroughly enjoyed their company. But why is it 0.05 cents per minute? I didn't tell anyone to make diesel prices 1 euro per liter? I sure as hell didn't tell Banana Republic to make me a pair of jeans for 150 EUR. Or that a 50 Cent CD (the rapper, you dolt) is worth 19.99. Or that Ronaldinho gets an x amount of moolah just to appear on a potato chip commercial. And finally nobody told me an hour of my time was worth between 50 and 100 EUR. And yet here we are.

Theory says that the market decides what is sold and what isn't. What prices are conforming to the market, and which don't. What salaries are fair and which are not. And yet: I am part of the market and still I have slim or no control over what a fair price is, other than taking it or leaving it. On a massive scale, that might be choice. On an individual scale it's nothing.

It is supposed to be really simple: things I want or need (good food, nice clothes, housing, SonyEricsson P990, NFL on TV, air) I will gladly pay money for. Things that I don't fancy, but are legally, or physically or socially necessary (diesel fuel for my car, permits, artworks, animals, watches) I don't value as highly, so don't expect me to fork out 2.000 EUR for a Tag Heuer titanium watch or something.

For a lot of things what is placed on the price tag doesn't reflect its worth. And that's why I don't get how money works: A dollar is still a dollar (or roughly 1.25 euros) and you have to fulfil a whole and varied bunch of wants and needs, which every individual values differently. And if people can't get along, suddenly the dollar is inflated, and supposedly you can buy more stuff. Except that my old adage still rings true:

"no matter how much more space you make, it will fill up"

everyone wants a piece of the more-dollar. And they will get it, at the cost of the people who don't care much or are not fast enough to react. Money is just a means to spread the wealth over a larger amount of people, and unfortunately it's a means with just as much strengths as it has weaknesses. It this the best the human race can come up with after several thousand years of bartering?

Nope. Don't get it at all. Unfortunately my ideas don't have much of an audience on a tropical deserted island (apart from Flipper, the cast of Lost and the Madagascar monkeys), so I'm kind of stuck here.

Wednesday, January 04, 2006

Friends will be Friends will be Labelled

Simmer on this for a while.

Every person you know plays a certain role in your life. Some play even more than one, although not necessarily at the same time. In addition, the roles they play change and evolve. Some people switch roles with each other. In order to make sense of it all, you get to label them.

  • Fathers
  • Mothers
  • Siblings
  • Bosses
  • Wives
  • Husbands
  • Physicians
  • Drinking buddies
  • Hairdressers
  • Flight attendants
  • Bank robbers
  • etc...
I'd come up with more, but I'm sure you get the picture.

Finally you play a completely different role for everyone else as well. Imagine every role was a different person physically. How many billion billion billion people would there be in the world? Talk about overcrowding...

So actually it's very efficient to play different roles, and to treat people like they are more than what we just see or hear.

Monday, January 02, 2006

Best Wishes for the Coming Year

After the smoke from all the fireworks settled (and granted there was a lot of it), it's time for something new and improved.

All the best for 2006!