Some people strive to be as honest and open as possible. Others, like me I guess, strive for diplomacy and tact. This makes for quite different approaches how people handle issues in life. Let me explain why I swing the way I do.
It takes very little to humiliate or insult a person, or at the very least make him/her uncomfortable. Sometimes a mere utterance or a simple gesture is enough. I take it the risk of saying something humiliating or insulting is bigger if you are really open and honest. To keep the peace I'd rather be diplomatic and tactful. Less things to fix, means less time wasted in my account.
With diplomacy comes the unfortunate consequence that you have to be frugal with information. You have to be careful what you say, who you say it to and when. Sometimes you have to hide your thoughts. Sometimes lying is involved. It takes a lot of energy to pay attention to all this. It takes a lot of energy to keep track of all the lies.
I guess the downside is here, diplomatic people are deemed less trustworthy, which undermines the entire deal of showing tact in the first place, keeping the peace.
Which works out better? Being honest or showing tact? I guess it depends on how well you go with the flow. There's a very fine nuance between the two approaches, but the contrasts are fundamental, and the tactics ultimately used are wildly different. I think honesty gets you a lot of places, but honesty will polarize people faster as well. Diplomacy by its very nature handles everyone the same as much as possible, and that is closer to where I am at.
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