Getting people to agree on a party, an outing, a gathering is wicked hard as we get older. Usually we've got responsiblities coming in between like work, kids, girl-/boyfriends, families, other engagements and so on. Add that we also tend to become more protective of our interests and our time, and we've got a knot that most of us are unable (or unwilling) to untie.
The friends and family you keep close to you will be the ones that fulfil your interests, or share them. When you try to book an outing between people who don't (i.e. work related, bachelor(ette) parties, house warmings, dinners, mixed societies), attitude tends to get in the way. Other needs start to take precedence. You get defensive, you get evasive, you get offensive all at the same time; and the end result is disaster.
I appreciate everyone's interests and their efforts to protect them, but the spirit of the gathering should have some calming, mitigating influence on everyone's moods. Some outings have no greater goal in mind, and each person's freedom to decline/change the outing matches accordingly. Other kinds of outings however are run for a specific purpose, and that affects everyone involved.
Everybody should still look inward and determine which interests mean more to him or her. But I feel I do have to leave a meaningful message behind that everyone should take into account. To paraphrase a colleague of mine: the best nights out are the ones where everyone just goes with the flow. This way you fall flat on your face sometimes, but you always gain valuable experiences... and sometimes you're pleasantly surprised.
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