The Eye of the Beholder

I don't agree with the notion that people get more peaceful and calm as they get older. Instead people seem to be getting shorter fuses. They may not explode with as much force and intensity, but they burn a great deal more often.

People also get angrier about more meaningless things as time goes on. At first it's important stuff that upsets you (being discriminated against for example, is quite serious), but later on you might blow up just because your neighbour's apple tree is hanging five centimeters over your hedge.

I thought that I would gain perspective as I grow older. I start out thinking and caring about kiddie stuff (like toys, crushes, school), and then I gain more and more experience in many different areas (responsibilities, love, jobs, traveling, success and failure) and start picking out the important things from the unimportant ones. Eventually I would get truly enlightened, and be able to differentiate significant from insignificant. I would know which things deserve my attention and which do not. I would know what I should be upset about and about what I shouldn't have to worry.

However, this is not reality unfortunately. People get angry about meanial, petty things, and sometimes they are even proud to admit it as well. At times they even have their priorities on backwards. I - for example - am extremely riled up about my 'limited' income. Yet in the grand scheme of things, the importance of my monthly salary ranks at about the same level as navel lint.

Depending on each one's perspective, meanial things can become quite important to the beholder. And that seemingly gives anyone the right to nag about them.

Exam fright

Here’s some advice when you’ve got exam fright:

• Never say never
• Use tension to keep you alert
• Know when to relieve tension
• Focus on one task
• Plan ahead
• Separate emotion from the questions
• Put effort in
• Be reasonable
• Share support

Raceday

With both the Monaco Formula One Grand Prix and the Indy 500 this Sunday, once again it is RaceDay. Some thoughts about the events leading up to this day:

• so Schumacher got caught with a schwalbe. He didn't have to do it that obvious, but I guess no real harm was done. The officials put him back, give it a rest already.
• so what if Danica may be the next Anna Kournikova (as in good-looking, but few - if any - sports victories). Let her do all those photo shoots and interviews, and leave her up there with the other guys. She's still way faster than most other drivers out there.
• Rubens Barrichello - Formula One driver - wears Tony Kanaan's - Indycar driver - helmet, and vice versa. Hehe... funny. Especially considering they're thousands of miles apart.
  

How do you know you don't like it...

Here's something I would like to call "let's try not to say this anymore, okay?"

It's a funny thing you advise someone "how do you know you don't like it, when you haven't tried it", if you want to convince him to do something or experience something, which they wouldn't do otherwise. The thing you want someone else to do, is either:

• something you already did (once) before
• an experience you'd (secretly) like to have yourself (and you want a guinea pig)
  
• an experience you'd like someone else to have (regardless if you had or not)

In my experience, people may or may not have a good reason not to want to do this thing in the first place, and they may or may not be aware of this. Often it's just a reflex, a feeling. Depending on the situation, people may have to be convinced to do something that could ultimately be of benefit to them. A good example is overcoming a fear of flying.

But arguing that previous experience is the only way to determine your preference, and using this argument to convince someone to do something - no matter how well meant - is an extremely evil thing to do. It's the same as claiming that experience gives you the right to stick your nose in other people's business.

It is simply not true that experience breeds preference. People have got this thing called fear, and it's real handy in prolinging life on this blue little planet. It prevents people from doing stupid stuff, like jumping off tall buildings without having a parachute (I'm sure it's extremely exhilarating, but I'm pretty sure I don't like it, and I won't do it). Of course, sometimes fear is so strong it also prevents people from achieving above and beyond, but that's beside the fact.

Previous experience does not suddenly give you the ability to influence people better. Previous experience is a bad predictor for liking something or not.

In other words, you need to come up with more valid argument if you want a non-smoker to smoke a joint.

A scary observation

• I drive my current lease car since the summer of 2003
• During that time, I've driven nearly 40.000 km per year
• I visit the gas station for a full tank of gas on average 44 times per year
• My car has a 50 liter tank, which I roughly fill up each time
• Since 2004 prices for a liter of diesel fuel have risen nearly 20 percent, from under 0.90 EUR/l to 1.07 EUR/l today.
• A full tank of gas costs on average EUR 41 back in 2004. Now it's EUR 49.
• On a yearly basis fuel prices for the car have risen EUR 350.
  

Conclusion: I am very happy my fuel costs are paid for by my employer.

Clothes make the man

I'm pretty sure nobody at the Eurovision Song contest saw it coming. The past years some showy Eastern European chick usually wins, with either an up-tempo dance song, or a music track that highlights the vocal range of the singer.

And now these guys win. I'm pretty sure everybody thought "hey, which song did we remember best this evening... oh yes, those scary looking guys from Finland. Let's give them 12 points. I wanna see those suits again."

Sick and tired

I usually associate hospitals with old people. They've been around longer, so they would have a higher risk that something medical happens to them.

But in the oncology department it's baffling that you see people from all walks of life, in all stages of life. Young people, tweens who are supposed to be enjoying the best years of their lives are just as present here as retirees and grand parents. I'm sure I've seen some semi-famous politician in there as well.

Some are under obvious chemo, others you would not notice or suspect they are. And when I'm sitting there in the waiting room, my mind can't help but wonder how they ended up here. How long ago? How serious? Were they shocked when they found out?

And yet I never get to know completely. Some of them might surrender some information, but it's rather circumstantial. Of course, you can't just ask bluntly.

It just goes to show:

• cancer comes in all shapes and sizes
  
• it makes no distinctions
• and for each his/her own

Arsenal - Barcelona final score

Some observations about the Champions League final:

• I've heard referee Terje Hauge was not selected to go to the World Cup. Now we know why.
• Almost like WWE, the crowd's heat in Paris was amazing. They really teed off on anything they didn't like (as in the referee and his assistants)
  
• If you are going to be an asshole and beg the referee for a card (just like the Barca players did just before Lehmann was sent off), you actually deserved to lose, you bunch of ungrateful, short-sighted cry babies...
  
• ...that's something the NFL does so much better: penalties can be declined if the alternative outcome works out better (such as 11-on-11 and a goal up, versus no score and an opposing player sent off).
• That was a nice touch to have the Barcelona club anthem play after the match.
• Ronaldinho always smiles. Always. Except for last night after the final whistle, strangely enough.

Arsenal - Barcelona Prediction

Well, just a quick one for this time, since I haven't really followed Champions League this season, up until the last few rounds. Thankfully the teams both sort of appeal to me, so that led me to make a prediction about the match:

• Barcelona wins
• Bergkamp stays on the bench in his final game
  

Get Ready To Discriminate

Racial differences have also been a source of some of our biggest battles. Always, from ancient times to present day; at every possible scale, from nations to households. It can be relatively harmless (jokes, segregated parties, and prejudices); or it can turn to riots, violence, and full-scale battlefields.

And it is so easy to assign all kinds of bad things to the others. Easy and lazy. It is much harder to look inward and see where you go wrong. It’s easy to hide behind arbitrary and abstract excuses like lack of respect or freedom of speech. It’s also much easier to just blame the one big group, rather than (fairly) singling out those who should be singled out. And to top it off, we have never made ourselves inferior to others: We have a survival instinct. We gladly step on each others toes. We’re not going to give in or give up.

Racism is relative I say. It used to be a tribal thing to not like the neighbours. Now we’ve gone to group tribes as races. I’m still waiting for the moment when some guys from outer space start thinking Earth is a great place to own, and thus decide to wipe us out, just like in Independence Day. Maybe then we might upgrade from intercontinental to interplanetary racism.

We have to be strong. We must strive to be stronger than we are now. Look inwards and be fair to ourselves. Don’t look for excuses. Assign credit and blame where it’s due, not just blindly pitch it in a general direction. Look strong AND show humility at the same time.

We have to make divisions between people we like and can relate to, and those with whom we can’t. Our world is too large to understand otherwise for our feeble minds. That does not mean this division is based on race. It is also not based on culture, or religion, family ties, football team allegiance, sex, interests, or character. It is based on all these things and none of these at the same time.

Feverish

You know the World Cup is coming, when:

• when you make dates or plan meetings, you have to pay attention to when your team plays
• when you actually know the dates from top of mind when your team is actually playing
• people start planning their daily tasks in such a way that they can leave early to watch the game
• people start wearing their national team colours more often
• people save up their cash to spend in match pools
  

(For Holland, the dates are 11 June, 16 June, and 21 June.)

Animal Pragmatism

What does it mean being ‘pragmatic’? I hear it being banded about so many times, it’s ridiculous. “Ooh, that guy is very pragmatic.” Or: “c’mon you have to take a more pragmatic approach to this issue.” In some industries (i.e. mine supposedly) being pragmatic is great. It's high praise to be called a pragmatic person, and these people are respected, revered and well-liked. Not to mention that projects actually get finished, and you have the sweet, sweet illusion of expertise... The way the term pragmatic has been used in my business, it emphasizes kicking ass, taking names and getting things done.

The dictionary says about pragmatism the following: the compromising of one's ideals to better deal with the specifics of a situation. That doesn't sound too positive (especially if you're an idealist). A pragmatist doesn't necessarily do things by the book, or follow procedures properly, if it gets in the way of the goals they want to reach. That might get him in hot water with people who value order, formalization, protocol and so on.

Indeed the respect, the reverence only comes when a pragmatist reaches a certain standing in his career. If he's still below that, he's just a hacker, a loose-cannon, an unreliable and blunt nobody. In fact at that point a pragmatist is more an opportunist, whose success is not known to be useful to anyone but himself.

But as a pragmatist rises through the ranks, and he has enjoyed success more than most, respect and trust are gained. His bluntness is seen as honesty. What people found unreliable in him in the early stages of his career, are seen as evidence to his reluctance to play politics. His unstructured way of working seems to prove his skill to separate important from insignificant issues. Ad infinitum...

All this serves to prove one thing: once people reach a position of power, their undesirable traits are suddenly forgotten or argued away. Ugly becomes a unique presence. Nervous tics become eccentricities. Curses and swears are now deemed colourful language. A person who just mucks about on the job, becomes a pragmatist.

Quantity over Quality

I do think there's merit to Darwinistic theories. It seems natural to me that strong genes survive and weaker ones eventually find their demise. For example a gene that gives you just one thumb and one finger is not very useful if you operate heavy machinery. So that's why you see so little people in construction with those.

But I see that evolution in the human race apparently is a game of chance. It doesn't actually work to have people with strong genes exclusively mate with other people with strong genes. The percentage risk that the children of said parents have very good genes is high, but it is by no means a guarantee. Parents' good genes may even work against these children, as their inherent weaknesses are expanded as well.

This article illustrates that in fact, highly desirable mates often make the worst parents, and the quality of life for the children suffers accordingly. It also explains why even the ugliest and undesirable people can mate supremely attractive people; and why even complete homebodies and other people who are not active in the hunt can make a families and procreate.

So I've got nothing to worry about.

My Favorite Euphemisms

You want to say something, but you cannot say it out loud, because it might generate arguments, force undesired behaviour, or actually hurt people and the like. Ah, the power of the euphemism is great, and if used correctly can be of use to you, little grasshopper. Here's a couple of examples:

• Girl replies to good (male) friend's request to go out once: Let's stay friends (as in: you're never going to get in my pants, buddy)
• Managers who end e-mails with: Thank you in advance (as in: do it, and do it now)
• Company taglines: People are our most important asset (as in: we're going to make some very unpopular decisions soon)

Also check here for more euphemisms, albeit in a business setting.

Rush Before the Summer

Lots of social calls have been planned up for the coming two months. In fact, as soon as the calendar turned May, appointments were made, promises were cashed in, and in some cases long-running requests were finally answered. It's the rush before the summer: visit everyone, get everything done, get the latest updates before we all run off into the summer.

Why is this? I have several explanations:

• we can't be sure of everyone's vacation planning, but we're pretty sure you're not gone yet; now's a good time to get together (with little risk that we're going to get jibbed)
  
• in my case at least, vacation money has rolled in, allowing me to finally pay off that debt; unfortunately nowadays even the simplest social gathering requires cash to spend, if only for the gas to put in the car.
• we've made it through the rough winter period, and now spring comes around. It makes us happy and it makes us wanting to show it to everyone. The weather is nice, let's go do something.
• I guess it's a rule of fours also. Every four months we have gathered enough new stories to share with our friends and family. We will get another one of these periods after the summer vacation, and again around the end of the year.

So. It's been busy, and it's going to get busier still.

I told you that wasn't a good idea

I'm starting to understand why people don't think voting makes a difference. For instance, I vote for one party, but the other party wins the election, and they get to form a government. They put people that I didn't vote for in ministries and legislative institutions, and they make decisions that make no sense. Specifically the ministry of traffic: last year they decided to lower the maximum speed on bits of freeway around certain cities in the Netherlands to 80 km/h (from 120 km/h).

They throw away a lot of tax money working on a traffic control system that's always broken; instead of shortening the traffic jams the lower maximum speed extends them; instead of improving the quality of air around the freeways the lower speed makes it even worse.

And here's the kicker... they finally own up to their mistakes and pull everything down again, putting everything back to the way it used to be. All I know is lots of tax euros down the drain for zero result.

Now, I'm not that naive to think that my favorite political party would do a lot better (because, hey, it's still politics at the end of the day). But I'm confident the risk of them doing so is far lower.

However, I'm even making a stronger point of NOT voting for the other guys. How much clearer can I be? I told you guys that wasn't a good idea, I voted against you, and you still went out and did it.

In this sense, voting does seem like a waste. You can't stop people from making stupid mistakes. That in itself is human. However, you can't stop stupid mistakes that others make, drag you down either. And this is frustrating.

There's only one way out. I you want something, you got to get it yourself. You have to be behind the steering wheel. You must be in control.

Surprise! It's Me!

I don't cease to be amazed about what happens to people I know from way back in the past. I've known them, I've spent time with them and suddenly ten years later they're something completely different.

There's this one guy who is now a campaign manager for one of the Netherlands' most prominent politicians; back in high school there wasn't a single person in the entire year who was sent out of class more than he was. Of course now his demeanor comes in handy in his work and current role. And it just doesn't end with this: people who were the biggest party animals in high school (middle school even) got married and now have 2.4 kids. They are homemakers now. In the past ten years we've seen people turning to religion, who were not religious in the first place; turning away from religion when they very much so initially; guys who were dead set to move out of the country only to come back again, tail between legs and all.

Which comes to show: everybody in our generation is going through the same waves and each of us has to deal with the same question how to make sense of life after - in casu - high school. That may or may not have to do with how anyone has presented him- or herself in the past.
For a lot of people - myself included - life pretty much gave them what they asked for and invested in (...so far). But the others mentioned before changed course, backtracked and did something else, which we of greater distance would call strangely out-of-character.

And that doesn't make sense, because it does make perfect sense to them. I guess everyone has the natural reaction to be surprised by something unexpected.

This is of course speaking from the perspective from someone who has stayed doggedly on course since kindergarten.

Some observations about women

I'm sure these statements were made in jest, but they were so off the wall, they worked:

• In any enclosed space where at least one woman is present, it's always too cold or too warm
• If a man makes friends with one woman, three more become his enemy
  

(thanks D.F.)

Will over Common Sense

I am a great believer in the power of will. The biggest achievements in life are often the ones done by people with the will to move past boundaries and limits and prejudice. People can actually do more than they think they can, but it takes a strong conviction to push through all the physical and mental constraints.

Now I also believe you can go further than is actually wise. The power of will is not equal to wisdom and can in fact cancel it out. There's a very fine line between being willful and being stupid.

Or actually, it's called stubborn.

Guess which I am.

I have a job to do, but why?

In my business I do jobs for people who are either unfit, too busy or otherwise unable to do the jobs themselves. This job could entail something like building a system, or shaping a business process, or organizing a group of people. Of course it’s not just enough to do the job, you have to be successful in it. Thankfully there are a lot of ways to go around doing this.

The customers I’m working for obviously has to be comfortable how I do my job for them. They would have procedures to do so, or a have a particular organization in place that I would have to adhere to. Some even follow a methodology, or a framework, or guidelines. It can be enforced with tools, bylaws, legal proceedings and so on.

Some customers have got nothing of the sort, and are only interested in getting things done. In fact, I would then have total and complete freedom how to handle the job at hand. Given enough experience I could even impose my own way of working on the customer.

The perception of a job well done and the actual outcome can be very different from each other. Even more so in my line of work, where few, if any standards are universally applied, and where the industry is far from reaching maturity. Everyone and his uncle has a different path to success and it mostly depends on how well you fit the job, the environment and the situation how well the result is received. There's the habits, the unified process, rapid development, feng shui, tao management, waterfall project management, prince, and about a dozen others.

What I’ve seen so far, it apparently is not natural for people to work effectively. Working effectively takes up energy and attention, which people would rather spend on things they value more than work, crazily enough. Every theory we’ve come up with, every framework or proceeding gives people incentives to complete a task effectively, or directs them into an effective, or more productive mindset. These are only slightly less demanding than religions.

So why aren't we effective people from the outset? Why do we need to be told, enlightened (sometimes reminded) how we should be doing our work? Why is it against our nature to be successful, productive and dedicated?

Closing the deal

At business school negotiation techniques was an elective, filled with theories and excercises about game theory and the like. Unfortunately everyone knows about these, so there's no advantage to be gained from following this course now.

I've found the most successful negotiations are highly personal and tightly-bound to context, environment and situation. It's just a matter of what you can get away with to determine if you had a good deal or not. Generally everybody feels fine if they spend less of what they have and get more of what they want. There's really no strategy to that, so it all comes back down to the tactics.

The objective success of a deal is thus the degree to which you got what you wanted opposed to all other alternative outcomes. If your goal is to do exactly that, then here's some tactics I found which work:

• Negotiations grow gradually more personal, the longer and the more conflictuous one gets; it also means that parties get closer to their limits, and they no longer see solutions within scope; use this knowledge to profit from.
  
• Everyone knows and expects that all parties know the rules of engagement, zero-sum games, negotiation etiquette etcetera. People who don't know, are supposed to be taken advantage of. However, if you keep handling the rules haphazardly, but correctly, you keep the other parties on their toes. Eccentricity breeds uncomfortability. Uncomfortability becomes a commodity in the negotiation, which you can take advantage of.
  
• Understanding the opposition is paramount. Sharing goals is much better than fighting for your own. Also, parties who are each other's worst enemies will go to the ends of the earth to mess each other - and their negotiation - up. (Just look at the Middle East) And that means that everyone will go much further in a destructive direction, than they would have during a cordial negotiation.
  

Liar Liar, Pants On Fire

Some people strive to be as honest and open as possible. Others, like me I guess, strive for diplomacy and tact. This makes for quite different approaches how people handle issues in life. Let me explain why I swing the way I do.

It takes very little to humiliate or insult a person, or at the very least make him/her uncomfortable. Sometimes a mere utterance or a simple gesture is enough. I take it the risk of saying something humiliating or insulting is bigger if you are really open and honest. To keep the peace I'd rather be diplomatic and tactful. Less things to fix, means less time wasted in my account.

With diplomacy comes the unfortunate consequence that you have to be frugal with information. You have to be careful what you say, who you say it to and when. Sometimes you have to hide your thoughts. Sometimes lying is involved. It takes a lot of energy to pay attention to all this. It takes a lot of energy to keep track of all the lies.

I guess the downside is here, diplomatic people are deemed less trustworthy, which undermines the entire deal of showing tact in the first place, keeping the peace.

Which works out better? Being honest or showing tact? I guess it depends on how well you go with the flow. There's a very fine nuance between the two approaches, but the contrasts are fundamental, and the tactics ultimately used are wildly different. I think honesty gets you a lot of places, but honesty will polarize people faster as well. Diplomacy by its very nature handles everyone the same as much as possible, and that is closer to where I am at.

Governments vs Corporations

Don't get me wrong... I feel for the guys and girls at Nedcar who are in serious threat of losing their jobs very soon now. I am sad for the Netherlands losing another thousand or so labour places to the far (cheaper) east. Not to mention the personal losses people would suffer...

But come on... picture the CEO of Mitsubishi coming over to a rather small country just next to Germany. He hears he's meeting with the Prime Minister of that fine country, so he prepares himself thoroughly, shines his gold Rolex wrist watch, combs his hair (badly by the way, by the looks of his television interview); and then he meets Balkenende... this is what the CEO must be thinking afterwards:

"ARE YOU BLOODY SERIOUS? THIS IS THE PM OF YOUR COUNTRY?"
(Or something similar in Japanese.)

Can you blame Mitsubishi to just think: "piss off, with your expensive good-for-nothing car factory and your goody-too-shoes Harry Potter-look-a-like; I'm taking my business to those farmers in China." They are not taking us seriously. At all.

It's not like Balkenende can threaten to attack the Mitsubishi head office with his fleet of F-16s, just like G.W. Bush and Iraq. Balkenende can also not just deny Japanese companies access through the Netherlands, because it will hurt us just as much as it will hurt them.

This is a perfect example why you need a charismatic, strong, attractive and eloquent figurehead to be spokesperson for a country. Now all we have is a Japanese company mocking us, taking away our jobs, and we've got nothing to show for it.

Things I think about this Easter

• Anyone can sympathize with the sufferings of a friend, but it requires a very fine nature to sympathize with a friend's success (Oscar Wilde)
• When you are in the business of selling things, use someone from the opposite sex to the customer. Works like a charm.
• Mockery is an important social tool for squelching stupidity (Scott Adams)
• Excitement, respect and justice are the three aspects that I want, demand and expect to get from whatever I do; however they do go back to one single motive: I invest time and energy to get and to receive. Quite selfish.
• Why do I have to be a coffee connaisseur just to order some espresso from the internet? And what does the color light blue have to do with a Brazilian coffee bean?
  

Beliefs

We do have questions about life. Why are we here? What are we supposed to do here? What happens after we die? Why does a cat always land on its feet? Some of us have found the answers to these questions in love, family, money, or work or something else entirely. Others have turned to religion and found what they sought over there.

It is quite natural to have these questions, even more so to be curious about the answers. Our time here is limited, so there’s a certain urgency to get these things out of the way. Religion, any religion, gets us there faster.

I do sense that the troubles we have nowadays come from trying to convince people that some answers - or means to get to them - are better than other ones. Again this seems to be an inherent characteristic of us humans. Our time is limited, and we don’t want to spend it all sampling all the different alternatives. Also we don’t want to be tempted by the alternatives, so we tend to block them out or otherwise disqualify them in a manner palpable to us. Given any question, everybody can come up with an answer. Everybody can dispute any other answer.

I personally cannot be bothered searching for all the answers until I found the one truth. Yet I would go for something that would be satisfactory, and be done with it. Furthermore I don’t need anyone else to share such a thing with me. You’re welcome to join, but you can also have your own way. At the moment I do not have need to be shown a more satisfactory way of life. Maybe I will never have. Anyway, if I want your input, I will ask.

Generation Indifferent

As far back as I can remember my classes in high school were... uneventful. They were eerily quiet whenever the teacher asked a question. I guess there were maybe two or three people who always gave the answers (these are the guys/girls who always had the highest grades), but most people were silent. I guess I was one of them.

It's not that we were not smart, we all got through our mid-terms and tests and exams. Some of us even got the highest grades; I guess for most people in my class, it's not that we were afraid of the teacher or our peers. However I do think, I do believe my classes were very indifferent. We didn't care about our classes; it was something to get through until we got to do something personal. The teacher was someone who we tolerated, much less listened to.

In France the government nearly installed youth-labour laws that would make it easy for employers to hire and fire under-26-year-olds. Nearly, is the key word here, as the people revolted, rioted and got results. The law was nixed. The government was forced to listen to the people.

I don't see it happening in the Netherlands. If the classes I've been in are symptomatic of our current generation, then the government will have little trouble pushing the most innane things on us. And we will be too indifferent to do anything about it. In fact we would complain, and nag and sulk like little children... but ultimately we do nothing.

I don't think I should have the right to complain about something I didn't get, if I don't ask for it, or do something to get it. For me it's don't ask, don't get. So here's to me taking charge. Here's to other people picking up the gauntlet. The pond might be little, but big fish always look good in them. They're the fat golden ones swimming around calmly in the middle. That's a nice place to be.

Oh no I think I failed... oh no I didn't

I guess worrying about your mid-terms, and then eventually passing them comfortably doesn't really make you more popular.

You also hated the guy who you just know learnt his ass off all night for the exam, is making everybody nervous with all his cautious predictions, and then you find out he scored 96% of the questions correctly, right?

Making poor project estimates doesn't really endear you to clients and managers.

Telling everyone you're sick, but still getting a personal best, doesn't always make you more popular.

I guess in the end, to err on the safe side is the slowest way to failure.

Welcome to the new century

In celebration of hitting the century mark, I checked out Google Analytics to see what the most read articles were and here they are:

• Bistromatchic Dinner Party
• Things I noticed in Toronto
• More Google
• Winning with Grace
• Bulletproof
• Represent your talents
• Personal music tastes
• Philosophical Question
• Cosmetic store allergies
• Argumentation gone awry

If I were traffic and mobility minister

If I were traffic and mobility minister I would pass the following legislation:

• In case of a head-tail collision (i.e. usually tailgating), instead of the back car bearing all of the blame, all the blame will fall squarely on the car in front.
  In case of a collision between two cars side-by-side, the car on the left-most lane takes all the blame. This will discourage people to drive on the left lane so much, and especially drive slowly on the left lane.
• However the cost of damages as the result of any collision where speeds have exceeded the limit, is not insured, similar to the situation in Germany. Then the rules as they exist now return to effect.

The basic idea is to promote a smooth traffic flow, keeping slow traffic where it belongs (i.e. not on the left lane); at the same time, we don't want to promote street racing and in fact it is your own damn fault if you get into an accident because of speeding. And if you get others into an accident because of your speeding, you should by all means be forced to pay for damages of all parties.

Successful And Happy

As far as I can see, degree of success is less the achievement of goals, and more how much time, attention, money and other stuff you can legitimately claim from other people for something you do, provide or are. You make a good product, more people will buy it from you. You put on a great show, more people will spend time out of their day to watch you. You have a great story, more people will listen to it. The idea is getting more of what you want than others who are doing the same.

You still need to determine what it is exactly that you want to claim and how you want to do it. If you're in love, you are only successful if you actually get the attention from the one you're in love with (instead of anyone else); If you are looking to get famous, you might consider a movie career rather than garbage collection.

While success in this sense is externally driven, happiness is something personal, internal... and independent. Being happy is a state of mind. Sometimes it's even completely irrational. It can have something to do with meeting goals or being successful, but the absence of either does not preclude happiness. You can be happy without being successful; you can be successful without being happy.

If you are both successful and happy, consider yourself fortunate. Can't really say I've seen it much around me, for extended periods of time. At the moment I consider myself pretty average in both respects, and I am not too sure whether I should emphasize one over the other, or go for broke on both... or just leave everything be. The latter seems the most relaxed option, but relies heavily on luck (and possibly fate)... and I'm simply not the gambling kind of guy.

Insights of a sports spectator

Soccer doesn't do it for me anymore. I've already experienced the greatest emotions (UEFA Champions League '95 and '99), and that can never be improved upon. (Ok... a World Cup victory this summer would be nice); That's why I don't follow Formula 1 or Indycar as religiously as before; the drivers at the top nowadays don't interest me in the least. I'm completely indifferent whether or not Kimi Raikonnen or Fernando Alonso win a Grand Prix or crash, and if Michael Schumacher retires or not.

For a sport to be successful, it needs to have the following:

1. strong emotional payoffs for players and the crowd
2. believable and appealing participants/characters
3. appreciation for history and story telling

Especially that first point, emotions are what makes watching sports worthwhile. The players and the story are just there to build the emotional gravity. It's what sells tickets, attracts viewers and raises the loudest crowds. If a sportscast doesn't grab your attention anymore and puts you into a rollercoaster of emotions, you stop watching. If a sport doesn't have anything more to offer than what you've already experienced, you stop going there.

Sports spectating can be quite emotional if you're totally into the sport, the players, the occasion. You can get shivers down your spine when your team or they athlete you're rooting for wins the World Title, the Superbowl, the World Series, the World Cup, the Olympics, beats a world record, or has a personal best performance. It doesn't even have to be about victories either... personal losses like Ayrton Senna's death in 1994 still spooks the bejesus out of me, as did Greg Moore's in 1999.

The American professional sports NFL, NBA, Major League Baseball and the NHL, still have a lot of emotion and grandeur to offer that I've never experienced, there's some players and teams I still root for, and the media and the respective leagues have got the ability to turn an ontherwise meaningless match into a historic bout. You can partly attribute that to the Americans' obsession with statistics.

Purely based on the criteria stated I should call the WWE a successful sports league... and that isn't really true. Don't get me wrong, I find great value in watching, hearing, feeling 50.000 people get on their feet, when the underdog finally wins the big one; one of the old favorites makes his run-in, when a superstar's theme music starts; when he hits his finisher or does his signature poses... Yeah it's scripted, but the wrestling moves hurt just the same. But this scripted nature makes it more of a soap opera or a stage play masquerading as a sports event, despite the intentions of the hardcore fans and WWE itself to convince us otherwise.

I am a sports spectator because I will never be there on the field, in the ring or on the rink at any significant level. I don't have the physical talents, and I haven't invested time in training any one discipline. Still I want to experience part of the emotions and I don't really mind which sport (or sort-of) I get it from.

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April Fool Joke

This has to be a joke: our local garbage collection service distributed a flyer stating the following:

"this week maintenance work will commence on the sewage systems below your streets. It may be possible that any plumbing inside your homes will be affected and sewage waste may spray back. Please adhere to the following: between the hours of 07:30 and 17:00 close the lid of your toilet and place something heavy on it like a stack of books. Use towels to block drains. Try to avoid hanging over sinks between the hours indicated above (etcetera)"

And when they actually get to do all the maintenance work, all they do is stick a hose down a sewer opening and leave it there for two minutes.

April Fools indeed.

Without victory there is only doubt

My most dominant motive has to be being right, and being proven right in the end. I happen to be extremely competitive when it's about things I value highly, like my way of life, my ideas, how I handle things. I will never submit that my ways in those areas are wrong. That doesn't mean I always need to win... no, wait, actually it does...

How I go about things involves taking a balanced stance. I do things differently from the mean, but I'm not polarizing too much. You could say it's weak not taking a formal stance. But again I'll do everything to win, and this for me is the best way. I feel I win a lot more battles, or rather a lot more battles fall in my favour because I have a balanced attitude.

And I am taking a stance, a stance of balance. My way is best. A balanced attitude happens to coincide with a lot of other people's attitudes, so I am in an ideal position to share, integrate and harmonize. Always wanting to be right forces me to be balanced, to be objective and to be fair.

My leitmotif is thus the source of my greatest strength, but also of my greatest weakness. Always wanting to be right makes me force the issue more often than I should. I refuse to take a loss, even when it's wiser to do so. I will go on longer, even if it's obviously not healthy. And going on too long eventually results in either phyrric (often more damaging than losing) or moral victories (only losers claim them)...

In essence all I claim is that wisdom does not determine being right. Achieving victory determines being right.

My appartment in progress

...apparently we're going to meet the other appartment owners very soon now... wonder who'll be joining with us... 

Daylight Saving Time

Have you noticed that everyone seems a little out of sorts the past few days? Everybody's tired, has no energy, and very little inspiration. I say blame Daylight Saving Time. Why for chrissakes would anyone eat an hour off the weekend? I thought there was a study about the effects of Daylight Saving Time on the productiveness of office workers, but I can't remember what the results of that study were. At least nowadays there's a discussion whether or not

• daylight saving is absolutely necessary
• it is possible to move the switch to somewhere in midweek instead of on Saturday night

I don't see a lot of trouble with either option. For a couple of years now the tactic I use is to go out at night past the moment DST kicks in: I don't really miss that hour of sleep and Sundays I'm completely knackered anyway.

Swear me you never swear again

I don’t agree with the union against swearing and cursing. When I do something stupid, when I see something idiotic, or feel pain, sometimes the only thing that does justice to the situation, the only thing that’s fitting enough to finalize the situation, is a good hearty FU.

Some people get offended. That is not my intention of course, although sometimes my anger takes over and takes hold. And at that moment, a simple oh geez, good golly just doesn’t cut it. Or at least, it doesn’t for me.

Cursing and swearing is a release. A very powerful one at that. Part of it has to do with its bad nature. We’ve been taught that cursing is bad, and you should not do it. And that makes it part of the attraction. It is a discovery of boundaries of sorts, and serves to strengthen its powers of release.

Cursing and swearing is taught. It al relates to context, association, need and effect. I doubt we would have this rant if people cursed using acceptable, non-insulting vocabulary that has the same effect. Although maybe the very act of a curse is to be socially unacceptable. It’s supposed to be frowned upon. Swearing is supposed to insult, to hurt. It is a tongue lashing in every sense of the word.

Every situation must close at exactly the right tone and measure. For every event, there’s a fitting counter. Taking into account the context, the audience, the situation at hand, swearing may be correct. I wouldn’t go so far as saying that it is necessary. A better person, a calmer person would probably have not been in this situation, and thus doesn’t need to swear.

I have a freedom to feel and to express. This includes completely running my mouth if I feel like it. Just like with any other great freedom, it comes with great responsibility. I am unfortunately not strong enough to just take everything in stride, let me admit that. But sometimes a short five-minute outburst is better, than smashing all the cars’ windshields in the parking lot with a baseball bat. I have some self-restraint, but it is definitely not infinite.

Bulletproof

Sometimes you make mistakes that are easily fixed; sometimes you make mistakes you can't undo; and sometimes you make mistakes that were supposed to happen.

Imagine some other guy needs to work overtime because of a mistake you make. Therefore he was not there to see his wife having an affair with her best friend. Therefore the couple wouldn't have fought loudly and violently, prompting the neighbours to call the police, making them miss a burglary going on across town, where unfortunately a man would have been fatally shot... you know, all the stuff that tends to happen in soap operas.

Or imagine that a mistake, albeit a serious one (like one that might have caused incorrect invoices to be sent), was mitigated by another mistake (the mail server crashed). Then you can truly say, you've dodged a bullet.

Now to paraphrase Mel Gibson in Signs, you can look at it two ways... it could be a sign, evidence that someone is watching out for you. It was fate. Or it could be just pure luck. Apparently, if you see things in the latter way, faults are just tragic and absolutely needless, and this breeds fear. However if you see things as if mistakes were meant to be, it breeds hope. It gives certainty that in fact you are not at fault for mistakes.

Rather than taking either approach, I tend to believe the following: most mistakes do not occur because people are incompetent at their tasks, but because people do not get to the right place, at the right time, under the right circumstances. It is easy not to make mistakes when everything around you works perfectly, when everything is specifically dedicated to get this task done. However, even the best will drop a few, when all hell breaks loose.

It is only the truly great who can be flawless even in the most difficult of circumstances, because they can get to the most convenient places at the best possible moment. These are the people to whom the following quote from The Matrix applies:

Neo: What are you trying to tell me? That I can dodge bullets?
Morpheus: No, Neo. I'm trying to tell you that when you're ready, you won't have to.


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The Next Generation

Nostalgia is a beautiful thing to make money from. The stuff you've liked and enjoyed as kid, is coming back today - at highly inflated prices. The wrestlers I used to root for, are coming back as legends. Old shows I used to watch on television are now available on DVD boxsets. I can't even tell how many times they've rehashed toys like Transformers, He-Man and GI Joe by now, and don't get me started on all the covers artists make on old 70s, 80s tracks.

The big thing is that kids under eight years old now are getting to discover our old favorites. It gives us twenty-somethings something to talk about with them. We relate better to them about these things, opposed to us with our parents... at least I can't remember that I've ever discussed the intricacies of Super Mario, or the philosophy of the Autobots and Decepticons with my father.

I think it's a good marketing trick to rehash all the cool stuff from twenty years ago for the market today. It's essentially killing two birds with one stone: you (re)capture the fans who were kids then, and now have jobs, families and hopefully wider pockets; but you're also introducing yourselves to a new generation of fans and generate revenue and demand in that respect as well.

All this gives me plenty of conversation material with my friends' kids (and eventually my own kids). That has to count for something.

Who was that guy?

Gradually I'm moving into a phase in life where I meet people from the past, whom I haven't seen or spoken to in some years. I take pride in keeping track of most people I like (and even some who I don't like), but sometimes people fall through the cracks. They're the guys and girls who you meet on the street unexpectedly, and extend their hands toward you to shake. They're the ones shouting out your name, and - when you turn around - whom you feel ashamed about that you can't get their names right away as well.

...well, ashamed is a stretch... I have to admit I get that feeling less and less. People will just have to get along with the fact that I meet and speak to literally hundreds of people over the course of the years, and not everyone will be memorable. It's the same with me, I shouldn't expect anyone to remember me in any meaningful fashion, unless we've laid the groundwork for that (because for example we're friends).

It just so happens that people will have an easier time remembering my name and my face, because a) I don't have a common Dutch name and b) I don't look like a typical Dutchman (or Asian for that matter). So it happens that people whom I have never spoken to before, can remember me even years later.

Of course, if that happens, it reflects good on me. I'm always humbled and honored that people who - seriously enough - don't have any reason to, remember my name and who I am. Just don't feel bad that I sometimes cannot do the same.

Complete the set

I still have some pictures leftover from last week, so here's... some of them.

Everyone all smiles

Aww how cute

The Wedding Planner's Hardest Job

Getting people to agree on a party, an outing, a gathering is wicked hard as we get older. Usually we've got responsiblities coming in between like work, kids, girl-/boyfriends, families, other engagements and so on. Add that we also tend to become more protective of our interests and our time, and we've got a knot that most of us are unable (or unwilling) to untie.

The friends and family you keep close to you will be the ones that fulfil your interests, or share them. When you try to book an outing between people who don't (i.e. work related, bachelor(ette) parties, house warmings, dinners, mixed societies), attitude tends to get in the way. Other needs start to take precedence. You get defensive, you get evasive, you get offensive all at the same time; and the end result is disaster.

I appreciate everyone's interests and their efforts to protect them, but the spirit of the gathering should have some calming, mitigating influence on everyone's moods. Some outings have no greater goal in mind, and each person's freedom to decline/change the outing matches accordingly. Other kinds of outings however are run for a specific purpose, and that affects everyone involved.

Everybody should still look inward and determine which interests mean more to him or her. But I feel I do have to leave a meaningful message behind that everyone should take into account. To paraphrase a colleague of mine: the best nights out are the ones where everyone just goes with the flow. This way you fall flat on your face sometimes, but you always gain valuable experiences... and sometimes you're pleasantly surprised.

Justice for all

With Milosevic dead the question whether or not justice can be served, will not be answered. For many his death is seen as the easy way out. And yet, if the tribunal had judged on his death sentence, the end result would be same.

Justice is so hard to judge correctly. Always highly individual, always time-constrained, always valid but in a limited context. What one deems a fit punishment, another finds too light. Even the most stringent laws cannot cover all bases, and it seems that everytime some form of humanity (or a damn good lawyer) will make for some kind of exception.

Personally I look at each event on a per case basis. Sometimes ridiculing and sarcasm fits the bill, at other times kicking ass and taking names for years to come is the only thing that satisfies my feelings of justice. For me Milosevic is not and has never been a significant factor in my life, so I'm inclined to think good riddance. I'm sure that people for whom he was, might just have the itching feeling that they didn't get to exact their vengeance.

Taxpayer Frustration

Okay, let's establish that I strive to achieve more with my buck as possible. Nothing comes for free, so some things need to be done and need to be paid for, as in taxes. I am all for paying taxes if you are able to, but only if they are useful taxes.

So for example anything to do with cleaning, road maintenance, police, building beautification I will happily pay tax for. I won't pay for stuff like that "I heart 80 km/h" campaign. That was just idiotic, unnecessary and ineffective.

And now you have to get your income taxes filled-in. First the government lops off an amount of cash off your salaries, and seemingly randomly assigns it to a bunch of policies, insurances, funds and specific sub-taxes. And next we have to tell our tax offices that we want that amount back, and more even. So we come up with all kinds of (fictive or real) justifications: mortgage, disabilities, educational services and so on. I do believe that everything we come up with to get our money back is just as random as the government's means to get it in the first place.

Life was much simpler when all I had, all I needed were my Matchbox cars.

Bistromathic Dinner Party

I've recently hosted a nice quaint anniversary dinner for friends, and one of the gifts I received was the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy. One of the concepts introduced here is the Bistromathic drive, which basically is a fictive engine technology that bases itself on irrational mathematics during dinners. Why irrational? Try to calculate, predict or otherwise know beforehand:

• How many guests arrive at which moment
  
• The number of guests joining dinner
  
• The amount of cash actually paid for the bill

All points apply for this dinner. A completely random number of guests arrived at the designated time. Some arrived earlier, others later. The number of chairs I reserved at the restaurant was incorrect at the moment of reservation. That I knew. But what I didn't expect was that that number even changed about ten times in the last three hours before dinner. Finally the actual money amount for this dinner was completely fluid, despite having pre-selected a number of dishes.

Apparently trying to accurately predict all these numbers requires an intellect that far exceeds that of people like Einstein, Bohr, Hawking. It requires the calculating power of a computer so great, that according to the Hitchhiker's Guide it can propel a starship across the universe in no time at all.

Or you could just relax, sit back and enjoy the dinner. Just like these people:

• Cool
• All Smiles
• The Four Horsemen
• Boyfriend/girlfriend
• Another boyfriend/girlfriend

Democracy for consumers

I tend to agree with the statement - to paraphrase Winston Churchill - democracy is the worst kind of government, except for all others. Today is another day where this applies... I used my vote in the municipal elections, and feel it is slightly wasted.

The thing is I hate being subject to the whims and the stupidity of the majority. We've had that four years ago, and we're still paying for it. And I grow to hate that fact more and more everytime.

I've started to see myself less as a voter and more of a consumer. Just like we are able to choose (and pay for) our cell phone provider, internet provider, gas and electric company, our football team, car brand, we should be able to choose the government that represents us. I'm fully aware I need to pay taxes for the police,roads, the defense, infrastructure and so on. I'm fully aware that some business like pulling resources from the land, buying and importing goods takes effort that I would like to see others (and not myself) perform. And yet I shouldn't have to be subject to whatever the majority thinks is good for me. If things are not as I think they should be, I should be able to drop them and pick other options.

Maybe in the future (say a century or three) our allegiances to a government can switch as long as they serve our purposes. The most successful governments will be the ones being able to service the needs of the most people. It can be about ideologies, quality of infrastructure or beauty. What it certainly will not be is about nationality, or idiot voters. People get to decide what's best for themselves, without anyone to blame for bad decisions but themselves.

Appartment in progress: part 3

That's a rather garish yellow on the window sill... That's not the final colour is it? 

Slippin' 'n' slidin'

Stuff you can't do with a car during a blizzard:

• Brake (unless you decelerate with the clutch; by the way I think I broke mine)
  
• Steer: when you go left, you go straight; when you right, you go straight; when you go straight you go sideways...
  
• Accelerate
• Park: you can't stay still long enough to park in any meaningful fashion
• Overtake
  

Basically, all the stuff a car is supposed to do to get from one location to another.

And all is right with the universe

My sister and I are four years apart (well... almost). We went to different colleges and chose different studies to major in. She's in medicine, I'm a BA.

My sister missed the cut for medicine the first two years after high school, so she did another study on the side. She has since made up for it.

I had some extra-curriculars in the law faculty. I ended up graduating in a duration slightly over the four years BA comprises.

You'd think the odds of she and I getting our doctorates in exactly the same amount of time are pretty slim and remote.

I graduated four years ago today, on 28 February 2002.

My sister graduated today, 28 February 2006.

Asia Boy Not Fit In Asian Party

Thanks to some strange karma I wound up at an Asian Party a couple of weeks ago. That was a strange sight. Outside of Hong Kong, Indonesia or a truly proper Oriental Restaurant I had never ever before seen so many Asian people in the same space. And I know of no other venue where I look and feel so out of place. That was really, truly uncomfortable.

I've been to other parties before (e.g. trance, rock, salsa) where one colour (e.g. white, black, latin/hispanic) is more predominantly present than the others. But none of them had the label 'Hispanic', 'Slavic', or in this case 'Asian'.

The very fact that there were hundreds of people in that party baffles me. It is a success that I personally don't think is logical. It obviously answers to some kind of deep-felt need by Asians to go out with other Asians. But why would you call it 'Asian'? Considering the music that is run there, you could just as well go to any Urban party for the same effect. Just a bunch of wannabe niggaz, moving to the latest tracks of 50 Cent and P. Diddy.

Stupid Brats

After watching the Rich Kids: Cattle Drive show one statement keeps popping up in my mind: the richer you are born, the stupider and more naive you get?

I understand the show's sole interesting point is to take children from rich and/or famous American families out of their natural habitat; and I also understand that the show wouldn't be half as interesting if everyone just got along with the program (as any normal person with any form of sanity would do), but come on... even these kids had to have known that city life does not apply anywhere and everywhere. I can't even begin to count the number of times during the run of the series I thought about reaching through the television set and grabbing one of these spoiled brats by the neck and slap some bloody sense into them.

Parents, sometimes a hearty slap and a kind word will convince a child more than a kind word alone.

What to do if you are a new hire

I couldn't possibly keep this advice to myself... So all you guys and girls who just started their careers, pay attention.

Some gems mentioned here:

• Preparing a Powerpoint presentation will give you the sweet, sweet illusion of productivity.
• It is better to be an “expert” than it is to do actual work.
• Teamwork is what you call it when you trick other people into ignoring their priorities in favor of yours.

Winning with grace

Following sports lately has pointed me some talented young people rising to the top of their professions. These are some of the young guns that have made headlines in the past few months:

• This NHL season marks the debuts of hockey players Alexander Ovechkin (20) and Sidney Crosby (18)
• Dutchman Jelle Klaassen debuted at last month's Lakeside tournament, and became Darts World Champion; he is 21.
• 2006 NBA All Star Game MVP LeBron James is 21, the youngest in NBA history.
• Ireen Wust (19) from the Netherlands won an Olympic gold medal in the 3000 m speed skating event.

As you can see I've mentioned two Dutch talents and three guys who were groomed and prepped in North American professional sports. This serves a purpose to show how young people react after winning.
Klaassen and Wust could hardly believe they won. Their sudden and unexpected success just overwhelmed them, and it was extremely hard for journalists to interview them. At that moment both Klaassen and Wust had a vocabulary size of maybe, at most ten words. They were extremely annoying to hear and listen to. Like watching Kids Say The Darndest Things, but without the inherent fluffyness of toddlers.
However, seeing them winning was very good television. Jumping around, hugging their coaches, their families and loved ones, that was pure and real.

On the other hand, the LeBrons and the Sidneys of this world have been groomed for life in the spotlights. When they are interviewed you don't hear a nineteen-year old boy. You're listening to a grown man who has seen it all, heard it all and experienced it all before. They are cool, collected and provide strong interviews, thanks to extensive media training.

However when they win, the audience, the crowd, the media doesn't see the real them. They have publicists, personal secretaries, bodyguards who protect the superstars from everyone else. The message they send out must be controlled, and that often makes people find them arrogant, aloof.

Of course given the bigger salaries and the larger audiences involved (than darts and speed skating in this case) people do tend to like these athletes for other reasons than their prowess on the field, court or rink. Protection seems to be more of a necessity here.

Still, I would like to see the Klaassens and Wusts be a little more eloquent during interviews, and the LeBrons and Ovechkins show a little more real emotion. I mean, few people care if you lose; but even fewer people care if you win without connecting with the crowd.
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Swedish Takeover

I'm mightily scared that I may turn out to be an Ikea junkie. The drugs have taken effect. Those damn Swedes have taken me in with their open-seven-days-a-week attitude, reasonably affordable prices, okay quality furniture.

I am not alone in this. Every time I go to one of those megastores thousands and thousands of people are already there. And they never seem to leave. Sitting down on a couch; feeling the texture of a cupboard; pulling the drapes of the ceiling.

It doesn't matter which store you go to. An Ikea in the U.S. is exactly the same as one in the Netherlands. They're always crowded, they've always got Swedish meatballs, there's always some kid who wants to be taken out of the childrens' playpen.

Fact of the matter is, it works. Considering it all, I was and am a prime candidate to get hooked on this hobby of stapling-together-Swedish-furniture. If that isn't integration into Dutch society, I don't know what is.

Next time you visit my place, you don't have to ask where that authentic looking dinner table comes from.

Page 113 in the 2006 catologue, Table Ronulum, colour Wood.

The Matrix Has You

I will go on record stating The Matrix is one of the best movies ever made… and that Reloaded and Revolution are not so good. As action movies they’re quite alright, but the great philosophical content that the original offered, was merely unimpressive in the follow-ups. Reloaded and Revolution presumed to explain too much, turned on the symbolism to thick and were far too smart for their own good. The original by itself was a nice contained story that left enough to be desired.

Sometimes keeping some bits covered, makes the entire package look more appealing… like lingerie.

The links to these essays provide interesting insights into the deeper symbolisms in Reloaded and Revolutions. Gotta hand it to the guy Brian Takle, there’s a lot of hidden trap doors in there that I missed.

The essays are pretty strongly worded, and not for the close-of-mind. Also it helps if you actually saw the movies.

Velvet Words, Sticky Thoughts

Three things that come to mind this Valentine's Day:

• The line between having a crush and being horny is razor thin. And both require but one person to be.
• People in love have gained the peace of direction, where previously there was only the freedom of choice.
• Nothing attracts more like character and poise. It is inexplicable... yet highly manipulable and completely necessary.

Represent Your Talents

Often the highest honour for an athlete is thought to be to compete for his or her country. The biggest and most important sports tournaments are where nations are in competition, such as the Olympics in Torino. Strangely enough athletes don’t seem to care anymore which country they represent, as long as they can represent. Ivory Coast-born Salomon Kalou wants to play for the Netherlands. Dutch-born skater Bart Veldkamp is a Belgian. Czech Martina Navratilova became an American years ago.

Other, singular athletes cannot appear for their country for all kinds of personal or professional reasons. Some fight their national team coaches and don’t get selected: Eric Cantona rarely played for the France national soccer team. Others are the only good player to come out of that country, and thus the nation as a whole cannot field their own team: Hakeem Olajuwon never represented Nigerian basketball, but was in Team USA. Still others don’t make the cut, because there are so many other strong athletes in a country, such as the Dutch skaters.

To me it is quite unfair to leave athletes behind, who want the chance to compete at the highest level. In sports context, why should national pretenses be more important than the athletes’ skills? We lose out on a lot of talented people on the grandest stage.

Of course, national flags and symbols make it easier for a casual viewer to identify a side. Nothing polarizes a nation’s emotions like a success in sports. It calls on something very primal in people to support your nation, your tribe. That’s why so many people follow these nation-based tournaments. That’s why these events garner so much attention. That’s why they are so important.

The importance of these events are not justified. Sports just constitute a societal outlet, a channel which can be used and abused as people see fit. A tournament based on athletes competing on behalf of a nation thus overshoots its targets. I can support anyone I feel like, even if they are not Dutch. I can use a clash between nations as an excuse to project my aggression, which is definitely not sportsman-like.

In this sense, the setup for the major North American sports conforms more to pure athleticism and sports. Although strictly based in major cities, every team is a (franchised) sports team, with the specific purpose of competing in that particular sport. Of course, money becomes the major driving factor in these settings, and then the rant would not be about the unfairness of nation-based sports, but rather of business-minded sports.

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Personal music tastes

Tastes in music are indeed personal, highly individual and bound to a specific situation or context, a specific time period even. We are completely free in loving or hating music to whatever degree we like. Nobody else does that for us. The music you love is that which tickles your feelings, fulfils your needs, emphasizes exactly what is you. The music you hate burns your eardrums, associates you with negative memories, fills you with loathing (or worse, indifference).

But we change our music tastes: Sometimes songs are overplayed, or don’t fit the occasion. Even the best songs we can hate for this. In other instances the songs we hate become better with time, we get used to it. Some music we like only for a short while, and then forget about them. Other music we keep close to our hearts (and ears) for years on end.

We have gained the ability and technology to develop our individual music tastes even further. We have personal music players, which we can take anywhere and everywhere. There’s context-sensitive internet radio, which adapts the songs played to our previous choices.

Despite all this institutionalized individualism, how come we need to list music by popularity in music charts? Why is it we are opinionated about who is number one and who isn’t? Why do we need to join together in the thousands at grand open-air concerts and music fairs? Why do we care about what others think of our tastes? Do we have a strong need to share our music tastes with others? Are we so proud that others need to agree with our music tastes unequivocally? Are we really that insecure?

It is extremely rare to find people who feel about music exactly the same way all the time. I don’t buy people who tell me they share my taste in music. It’s a bit pretentious to think that you can generate a complete relationship out of thin air just by listing the genres you like in resumes or personal profiles. There may be overlap, there may even be recognition, but there will always be differences.

Music is a powerful instrument to understand ourselves, to understand our emotions, our moods and our feelings. It can energize or relax; motivate and intimidate. Music develops character. Nobody can tell you how to do so. Don’t let others tell you. Form your own taste.

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Diplomacy for non-diplomats

Everybody is so easily agitated nowadays. You draw up something or you say something, and somebody else is bound to get insulted. It's almost like you have to be a political diplomat to get around without getting stabbed.

Indeed paying kudos to everyone you meet even on a cursory basis is very important now. Nothing you say or do can be about placing yourself higher than the other, because that might be insulting. At the very least you are equals, but if possible you have to place the other on a higher plateau.

I’m not advocating you put yourself down. That doesn’t build respect; it might build pity, but that’s a very unstable platform to stand on. I’m also not advocating you sell yourself short. People won’t find anything interesting about you, and that doesn't get you anywhere.

Finally all this doesn’t mean you have to like everyone. I’m a firm believer in surrounding yourself only with people who are worth your time, but cutting ties is done clean. No worries, no regrets. Naturally.

Superbowl results: or How to dig a hole for yourselves

I hate it when I'm right...

So as predicted the Pittsburgh Steelers win Superbowl XL. That's fine by itself, because the Steelers are not an unsympathetic team. They did well on defense, gambled when they needed to, and effectively used trick plays to confuse the Seahawks. However, three things hurt:

• The Seahawks had several controversial calls made against them in the first half... So many officials, so many camera's, still so many bad calls. More eyes don't necessarily mean better officiating, me thinks.
  
• Indeed Seattle did themselves in as well with some sincerely stupid plays they had no business of making. Instead of getting good field position, scoring position or ample time to make plays, they often had to start from scratch and made it unnecessarily hard for themselves to score.
• Why for chrissakes do you use Bittersweet Symphony as an entrance theme?? Did Seattle think it could lull the Steelers to sleep?? What a bad choice... Seahawks, please pay attention to professional wrestling to see how you should handle an entrance. This - whatever that crap was - was not it.

As a sidenote, ever since that Nipplegate thing two years back MTV is persona non grata for organizing the half time show. Unfortunately for the NFL the half time show is deathly boring when they aren't... so there's no need to censor the bloody Rolling Stones okay? We don't care. We're taking a leak anyway.

Gimme an Extra Large

Superbowl XL is up today, pitting the Pittsburgh Steelers up against the Seattle Seahawks. It's The Bus Jerome Bettis against this season's MVP Shaun Alexander. Second-youngest-quarterback-in-Superbowl-history Ben Roethlisberger versus the crafty Matt Hasselbeck. It is the city of steel against the city of coffee...

Who's going to win? The heart says Seahawks, because for some undefined reason I inherently like teams from Seattle (Sonics, Mariners). And they're the underdogs, they've never been here before.

The head says Steelers, because they have the momentum; they have beaten more formidable foes en route to the game, and they look absolutely dominating at times, especially against the Broncos two weeks ago.

So we have to go with the gut, and it goes with the Steelers... by two scores.

Failure of democracy

The Dutch government will send soldiers to Afghanistan. There are some right reasons for going there, but also some wrong ones. I'm all for fighting the battles that need to be fought, not necessarily just the ones that you can win; it being dangerous is not exactly a good argument for not going. But we need to gain something by going there, and that I'm not convinced of.

It's just like the changes to our health insurance system, taxes, speed limits... I didn't request my government to take care of that and yet they did. I tried to vote in another party to government because they could do the stuff that I find important (and more important they don't do stuff that's not good for me). I choose to be in a country where Balkenende is NOT my PM, and yet here he is, messing up my good mood.

It would be so much better if people actually got what they voted for. Maybe if the Netherlands weren't a mature nation, where everybody has needs and wants to be taken care of, the government's time and energy wouldn't have been split across too many meaningless things and it could concentrate on the important stuff...

Sending soldiers to the Middle East... c'mon guys... if you gotta be somewhere, don't be a pussy. Don't be someone else's watchdog.

Shuffling around

I've already stated once I don't get how money works. Now I've received my salary statement I'm even more baffled than before. Basically some taxes and premiums are higher, others are lower, still others are completely gone now, and some things are completely new... the result:

Zero.

Nada.

Absolutely nothing *

The only impact all the changes in insurances, leasing and taxes have had, is piss me off. This begs the question... why spend all that energy in changing your appearance if in the end you're still the same ugly bastard?

* - well... on a monthly basis there's less coming in... thank god for vacation money.

Soccer sucks... except when we win

Soccer used to be so riveting. In the early nineties I kept track of all the leagues and all the competitions all over the world. (Yes, all of them) I also followed a certain team from Amsterdam and a certain team from Manchester religiously. I was so bummed out if they lost, and so happy if they won. Today I couldn't care less if they lost 4-1.

The sport doesn't really interest me anymore. For one, there's too much of it on television and the newspapers. Games used to be special. For example, there were only six Champions League games per season, if you were lucky. Now there's some kind of game on every single day. And certainly not all of them good.
Another point is that I've already experienced the best and the worst games and plot lines for my favorite teams. Young, talented team defeating the tough, exotic and dominant side? Been there. Last minute victory snatched from the jaws of defeat? Done that. Losing to a clearly worse side? Old hat by now. After a while you've seen all the ways a football game can run, and nothing really surprises you.

Fortunately there's one thing I haven't experienced yet in soccer, and that's a world championship. Here's hoping Holland wins it all this summer! For that I will gladly pick up my football-watching glasses again.

The Incredible Green-eyed Monster

Everything we do, want, strive for is pretty much based on and driven by emotions. In an ideal society, love would be our primary emotion; but in a more hostile society, we are more driven by more negative emotions: fear, hate, and jealousy.

Now jealousy is a fascinating emotion. Nations have fallen, rulers have been brought to their knees and lives have been wiped out because of the big green-eyed monster. On a much smaller scale jealousy has taken hold as well, on somebody's job, his wife, her husband, her paycheck, his car, their vacation, his wristwatch, her dress, his charisma, her body, their lives...

Jealousy is an emotion based on scarcity; scarcity of time, of money, resources, people and/or energy. Jealousy is also driven by a perceived injustice, which mostly if not always relates to oneself.

When I was young I was told not to be jealous of others. That in my opinion is a mistake. As far as I can see the greatest achievements in our days (as well as the darkest) happened because we were jealous at some point and decided to something about it. That's just the thing. Jealousy can be used for good things.

Bad things are done because jealousy is used destructively, as an excuse to be violent, giving in to something primal. Green eyes tend to make you blind for any other way out than 'HULK SMASH! HULK CRUSH!'

So, I'll make this promise. I will be jealous like a mofo for anyone who does better than I do. But I will find a way out that is constructive, and I will make you jealous of me!

Consultants Q&A

Consultants like us have a special way of answering questions. It's not really taught or anything, but it seems to be innate to everyone who's been in the business for a while. It is also kinda hard to explain without powerpoint presentations and inch-thick reports, but I can provide some examples of how it works:

Q: Have you eaten those cookies?

A: Well, yesterday I went out to dinner at this quaint little place at the old harbour, where the old trade mansion used to be, and I had such a great meal, five courses mind you, that I couldn't possibly eat a bite more, even today.

and here's another one:

Q: Can you tell me how I look in this dress? (obviously this comes from a woman asking her boyfriend consultant)

A: The fabric is first-rate, designed in Milan by Sergio Commelletti, and expertly tailored to the wearer with hours of handcraft.

The common characteristics are that:

• although you don't get a straight answer, technically there's no lying involved
• if you completely dissect every little aspect of the answer you will find the question answered; it just takes a long time and the person who asks the question usually just gives up
• the consultant always displays something of his expertise/background/network in the answer in some subtle, yet completely over-the-top way; this knowledge almost never relates to the question asked
• there's a lot of CYA (cover-your-ass) tactics involved, so the answer is mired in grey areas, neutral assessments, pros and cons, yin and yang, win-win, sources and bibliography etc.
  

So, in other words: good luck trying to get a simple yes or no out of me.

SO WHAT?

Things to say SO WHAT? to:

1. The temperature dropped to about 7 degrees celsius below zero, and we're trying to find out if the ice is thick enough for skating
2. George Clooney is supposed to come over for the Film Festival, but then again, he may not
   
3. Dutch cabinet minister Pechtold spoke of devious circumstances in the cabinet, and now all of his peers feel hurt and humiliated

Out with the old, in with the new

Slowly but surely my car is breaking down. It started a couple of months ago with the v-belt singing, then the torque seemed to flail in second gear. Now in the space of two weeks I've found that my head light is cracked, my oil measurement stick is broken and my wiper is ripped. Thing is, I don't care.

I've found that the longer I drive the car, the less careful I am with it. You should've seen me way back then, I would be hesitant to take it out near grass or puddles. Now I don't even wash it anymore. How similar this is to other things as well, including mobile devices, glasses, your job, friends and family, your relationship, your life.

That's not really how we should go about things right?

An argument for prejudice

Back in the day I was a strong opponent of discrimination. I was all for equal rights for boys and girls, blacks, reds, yellows and whites, muslims, christians and hindus. I took everyone in stride and treated everyone equal. I don't do that anymore, because:

1. for some reason people like you much more if you respect their individuality and culture
2. it's boring to treat everyone the exact same way (can you imagine if everyone looked, spoke, and acted the same way all the time?)
3. you cannot have favorites if you treat everyone the same
   
4. it is a bloody tiring and time-consuming way of getting around: everyone needs to be properly addressed so you take more time to do so; and everybody has to have an equal amount of respect and so on.
   

This last point is actually the most important bit. People are inherently finite, both in time and knowledge, so there's no chance of actually getting everyone equal footing. Prejudice is apparently our way of overcoming our physical boundaries. We assume and make judgements based on what we feel, see and hear. Sometimes we go deeper into issues, but only if it concerns something we find valuable enough to spend more time on. Otherwise we just have to take what we're given.

I am a firm believer of making sure the limited time you're given by your audience should be spent wisely and on positive impressions. However I also realize that everyone and everything is more than just what's on the surface. I may have not the time or energy to dig deep all the time, but I will respect the idea that there's something deeper, more valuable in everyone.

Welcome to the age of the prejudiced. Join me, the water's warm.

A very hard thing to do

I must admit I've lost a lot of creativity with regards to gifts as the years go on, but even so... The longer you know someone, the harder it is to get them something for their birthdays, graduation, marriage, anniversary etcetera. Usually they've got everything already, or their wishes are in the range of Ferrari, house on the Bermudas, or Patek Phillipes.

So that means I spend a lot of time idling along shopping centers to find a remotely fitting gift for the occasion. I must say, that track's getting old.

So for all my friends/family, kindly leave a note what you want for the next occasion, and we'll see what we can do. You ask Santa/Sinterklaas what you want to, right?

Be There, Or Don't Be There

"If you don't get to the ball in time, you didn't start running on time."

Johan Cruijff, our self-taught Dutch soccer professor, may have had some cryptic but thoughtful expressions, but it all comes back to one thing: If you need to be somewhere, you need to be there. And if you don't want to be somewhere bad, don't be there!

In professional sports the great players seperate themselves from the average by making good decisions about where they are, when to start running, where they need to be and when. And even great individual players can make their game so incredibly hard on themselves by not being where they need to be, or being somewhere they shouldn't be.

This concept extends beyond sports as well: Successful people get to places where they do most good for themselves, and stay away from where they do harm or are weak. If you really want to be safe in traffic, make sure you don't put yourself in difficult situations, such as tailgating. If you're in project management, you can make things easier on yourself and the other project members, by how well the project fits the project environment and doing the things you should do. All the while you'd be avoiding the things you shouldn't do.

And the finest of finest know where to be, so that they reach every opportunity in due time, without having to stretch themselves to/over the limit all the time. Indeed the best people make their craft look so easy and unspectacular.

Can I stop being superstitious now?

I am one of those people who:

• have lucky boxers
• always pick a favorite number
• never walk under ladders
• turn around in case black cats cross their path
• and tend to be more cautious on Friday the 13th
  

Of course, there's a rational side to me that seems to overrule most of the weirdest behaviours. And yet it's definitely not a cut and closed issue. I do feel better if I pay attention and avoid all those things mentioned above. After all, if you feel you've had bad luck, you're gonna act accordingly. And that will get you into trouble very quickly.

Good and Lame Magic Tricks

What are lame magic tricks?

• card guessing (not too impressive)
• levitation (old hat)
• split body (creepy and yet childish)

What are good magic tricks?

Pulling yourself up a circus tent with just a pair of ribbons... while holding two suitcases in your hands and carrying a small girl on your back, and singing an aria from the top of your lungs.

(or something like that, this show is so overwhelming, I may have confused some tricks a little...)

Truer Words Were Never Spoken

Some women actually do have good ideas for driving.

Price of Fame

The Lakeside Darts tournament - the Wimbledon of Darts - started this past weekend, and to promote the event the Algemeen Dagblad interviews the Dutch number one darts player Raymond van Barneveld.

Mostly it's about him being frustrated when people recognize him on the street and bothering him when he's doing something else. And that is understandable, Van Barneveld doesn't even get the chance to explain himself, or finish what he was doing, and gets labelled as arrogant, aloof.

Ah, there's an expression, the price of freedom is eternal vigilance; I submit that it could also be: the price of fame is eternal vigilance. While Barney's reaction to all this is perfectly understandable and even human, it may very well be that it's no more than logical that he is perceived as arrogant. I mean, people suddenly faced with famous personalities, are just wired like that. They panic, don't know how to react, and attack all at the same time.

Here's a suggestion when meeting slightly more famous people than yourselves. Picture as if its the most beautiful/handsome person you've met (funnily enough, that often happens to be the case anyway). Naturally you want to show off yourself as attractive as well, and the most attractive you can be is when you're cool. That way you keep your respect and admiration; they get to keep their dignity, and the impression they deal with people of equal fervour (even if they are not).

Now even Barney can move around town wondering where all his fans went.

The Colour of Money

I don't really have a firm grasp on the concept of money. I mean, I've had the economic studies classes, I'm aware of theories about markets, industries, supply-and-demand, inflation and all that, and I think I've got a vague inkling of the stock exchange. Still despite all that, I'm unsure how it all works. I'm pretty sure it shouldn't actually.

Money makes the world go round, people often say, and for a large part of my day that is very true. No cash, means no food, no parking, no electricity, no plumbing, no gas, no petrol and so forth. Even if I would stay an entire day at home, I would still spend some 30 euros, just for staying awake.

The major question I've got is the value of money, or more accurately: the reward for something where effort is put in. I'm fully aware that contacting someone with my mobile phone costs money, lest I have to actually travel all the way to that person to say that I thoroughly enjoyed their company. But why is it 0.05 cents per minute? I didn't tell anyone to make diesel prices 1 euro per liter? I sure as hell didn't tell Banana Republic to make me a pair of jeans for 150 EUR. Or that a 50 Cent CD (the rapper, you dolt) is worth 19.99. Or that Ronaldinho gets an x amount of moolah just to appear on a potato chip commercial. And finally nobody told me an hour of my time was worth between 50 and 100 EUR. And yet here we are.

Theory says that the market decides what is sold and what isn't. What prices are conforming to the market, and which don't. What salaries are fair and which are not. And yet: I am part of the market and still I have slim or no control over what a fair price is, other than taking it or leaving it. On a massive scale, that might be choice. On an individual scale it's nothing.

It is supposed to be really simple: things I want or need (good food, nice clothes, housing, SonyEricsson P990, NFL on TV, air) I will gladly pay money for. Things that I don't fancy, but are legally, or physically or socially necessary (diesel fuel for my car, permits, artworks, animals, watches) I don't value as highly, so don't expect me to fork out 2.000 EUR for a Tag Heuer titanium watch or something.

For a lot of things what is placed on the price tag doesn't reflect its worth. And that's why I don't get how money works: A dollar is still a dollar (or roughly 1.25 euros) and you have to fulfil a whole and varied bunch of wants and needs, which every individual values differently. And if people can't get along, suddenly the dollar is inflated, and supposedly you can buy more stuff. Except that my old adage still rings true:

"no matter how much more space you make, it will fill up"

everyone wants a piece of the more-dollar. And they will get it, at the cost of the people who don't care much or are not fast enough to react. Money is just a means to spread the wealth over a larger amount of people, and unfortunately it's a means with just as much strengths as it has weaknesses. It this the best the human race can come up with after several thousand years of bartering?

Nope. Don't get it at all. Unfortunately my ideas don't have much of an audience on a tropical deserted island (apart from Flipper, the cast of Lost and the Madagascar monkeys), so I'm kind of stuck here.

Friends will be Friends will be Labelled

Simmer on this for a while.

Every person you know plays a certain role in your life. Some play even more than one, although not necessarily at the same time. In addition, the roles they play change and evolve. Some people switch roles with each other. In order to make sense of it all, you get to label them.

• Fathers
• Mothers
• Siblings
• Bosses
• Wives
• Husbands
• Physicians
• Drinking buddies
• Hairdressers
• Flight attendants
• Bank robbers
• etc...

I'd come up with more, but I'm sure you get the picture.

Finally you play a completely different role for everyone else as well. Imagine every role was a different person physically. How many billion billion billion people would there be in the world? Talk about overcrowding...

So actually it's very efficient to play different roles, and to treat people like they are more than what we just see or hear.

Best Wishes for the Coming Year

After the smoke from all the fireworks settled (and granted there was a lot of it), it's time for something new and improved.

All the best for 2006!